tcwhiteshark Posted August 29, 2003 Share Posted August 29, 2003 After being dumped by my ex a year ago, I can't help it but I still miss her and love her as strange or wierd as that may sound. I tried dating other women throughout all this time but it just wasn't the same. I would like to know if it is possible to reconcile with someone after a year even though we have not spoken or seen each other throughout this time and if so, how? Is there such a thing as a happy ending? I would love to hear any advice or story of anyone who has done this. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted August 29, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 29, 2003 Sorry to sound so negative, but no doubt she has moved on with her life, and is no longer a possibility. Out of raw curiosity, do you know what she has done with her life since the split? Link to post Share on other sites
don't push Posted August 29, 2003 Share Posted August 29, 2003 I think you should call her up to do something you know she would enjoy doing. If she says she can't for some reason. Give her your number and say maybe another time. If she does not call back, give it a month or two just to remind. If there is no reply, she has you number. You tried. If she calls back, then most likely it is all in the past. She is probably willing to at least continue something not saying romantic in any way. Keep it on a friend level. A lot can happen in a year. Don't get your hopes up. Think friends. Link to post Share on other sites
don't push Posted August 29, 2003 Share Posted August 29, 2003 One more thing if she is in a relationship, still willing to continue contact. Make sure to stick around if you can control yourself and respect her life style. It will make things stronger between you and her. If not only for the fact that you can learn how she is making this relationship work. Also at the same time learning what not do, in the chance she decides to restart the old flame. Make sure not to feel rejected someone else is in the picture. After all it can't be just the sex that drives you back to her. There must be something more. O one more thing. Make sure to be yourself. Don't try to tell her what you think she wants to hear, in order to get her back. Manipulation to benefit your own selfish need will never have a positive outcome. I speak from experience. Exact same situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tcwhiteshark Posted August 30, 2003 Author Share Posted August 30, 2003 I have no idea what is going on in her life. I had sent her a xmas gift and a birthday gift and also a letter a little while ago but she never called or written me anything, it was a real strange breakup...she just stopped talking to me and I don't know why and it just bothers me. When I tried calling her in the past she would just tell me that she just didn't feel like talking. In the last letter I wrote to her I said that I would never bother her again but now I'm in this situation of where I'm tempted to send her flowers which I loved doing in the past but I won't because it will go against my word and I'm scared that it will push her even further away. I would just like to know if time plays a role if anyone has been in this type of situation and if people do get back together after time away. Any happy ending stories would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelebek Posted September 3, 2003 Share Posted September 3, 2003 Hi I really really feel for you. I have so been there. My ex boyfriend simply stopped talking to me too, and it KILLED me. It's really hard to get over it when that happens, cos you never get an explanation, a goodbye, anything. I went through a year of wanting to call, sending stuff etc, but it was pointless. When I called, he wasn't pleasantly surprised, he was just surprised.....why the hell was I still calling? He didn't want my calls or my presents, he had ended it with me!! He had chosen to move on and he had done, sadly. It took me ages to get over, and I'm 99.9% there Unfortunately I sound like a bit of a hypocrite, cos one day I gave in to the urge to call him, months later. I'd accepted that it was over, but I wanted to know WHY, what happened that we lost something that meant so much to both of us, so I asked him. I got some answers, and although talking to him made me miss him all over again, it helped me HUGELY. It was like a proper goodbye. That was nearly a year ago, and I haven't spoken to him since, and I know I won't ever again. It's sad, but I needed closure to be able to let go, and I think you do too. It's hard to accept that it's over when it's so suddenly ripped away from you for no apparent reason, I know. You just have to find it in yourself to let go, I KNOW it's hard but you have to. You don't love or miss HER, she's a different person now. You love and miss what you had together, and that is gone. She won't change her mind. She doesn't deserve your calls/gifts/flowers, she treated you like crap. God, I feel so awful for you, this is bringing back all those feelings of longing, and maybe's, what-if's, etc. She ended it with you, she wanted it over, and a year on, you're probably the last thing on her mind. I know how much that hurts, I just wish someone had told me that sooner, so that I didn't waste SO much emotion and time on someone who couldn't care less, and didn't deserve it. You might not ever forget her, that's understandable, and you shouldn't want to forget someone who meant so much to you. Key word there - MEANT ; past tense. That's where you need to leave all this, in the past. It took me so long, but you do get there, and now I've met someone unbelievably incredible, and I've forgotten what I ever saw in my ex. I want to go back in time and slap myself, tell myself to get my act together, he really wasn't worth it. Anyone who can make you feel like this isn't worth it. Good luck, I'll be hoping for you Link to post Share on other sites
Author tcwhiteshark Posted September 4, 2003 Author Share Posted September 4, 2003 Thank you so much Kelebek for your kind words and inspiration.I really needed to hear from someone that was pretty much in the same situation as I was.I'm really glad that things have worked out for you. I think that time is the only thing that can make things better. I really did need answers but I know I just have to let it go. I just have a hard time understanding why someone just shuts themself off. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelebek Posted September 5, 2003 Share Posted September 5, 2003 You are so right - time is a great healer, it's a cliche, but it's true!! It's just annoying for those of us in a hurry!!! I think you'll be absolutely fine, and one day you'll be the one answering a post like this. I don't know why people shut themselves off, it's extremely cruel and heartbreaking. I hope you find some of the answers you need, and the happiness you deserve. Take care Link to post Share on other sites
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