why is he this way?

[KD]

Hi!

 

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of seven months, two weeks ago. The other night I saw him at the bar. I decided to just keep my distance from him, not to make things awkward. So, my friends and I were standing around and all of a sudden he taps me on the shoulder. Right away I knew he was drunk; really drunk. I had never seen him like that before. His eyes and his smile...he looked like a complete stranger. He said, "Are you pissed?" I shrugged no. I asked him if he was, he said yeah. I then asked him, "Are you driving tonight?" He nodded, with a wierd smile on his lips. I told him that that was not a good idea but he just said, "Who cares?" He never was like this when we went out. We only spoke for a few minutes and then he looked at his watch. He said,"Shouldn't you be running off home? It's almost time for your curfiew." He patted my head and turned to leave, stopped, and slapped me on the ass really hard. Then he left. (He was wearing the sweater I bought him for Christmas.) I was devistated to see him like that and really mad at the same time. It ruined my entire night, naturally. My friends said he was just trying to get a rise out of me, so that maybe I'd call him or take him back. I decided not to call him, but it has been very hard. I don't want him to go off drinking and driving because he's upset about me breaking it off. What should I do about this???

 

Any advice would greatly help. Thank you.

[Tony T]

You are not responsible for the drunkeness of this man or any other person in the world. Your friends have a weird take on this (well, maybe they have his motive down OK, but not your reaction). Why would you want to take back a drunken bum who makes a fool of himself in a bar. Do your friends think that is the kind of guy you want? Straighten them out quick.

 

Why would you let his low-class behavior ruin your night. The two of you are no longer an item. I can understand some feeling may be lingering...stay away from him. Avoid the clubs he frequents for a while.

 

If anything, his bouts with booze now are one more great reason to have him out of your life. I am sure that's not the kind of person you would have admiration and respect for. Don't take one bit of responsibility for his drinking and driving. You have no input on the choices he makes. It's like the guy who says he'll kill himself if you break up with him. Putting those kinds of head trips on others is the lowest form of extortion and insane as well.

 

Since the two of you are not seeing each other anymore, let him know if he hits you in the butt again, you'll notify management and have him ejected...or even press charges. That is assault and battery.

 

You ask what you should do about this. Absolutely nothing except STAY AWAY FROM HIM FOREVER. At least if he passes out drunk somewhere, you'll be comforted to know he's wearing the warm Christmas sweater you gave him. He really knows how to pay tributes.

 

You deserve so very much better!!!!!!!!!!

[Shirley]

Hi! I recently broke up with my boyfriend of seven months, two weeks ago. The other night I saw him at the bar. I decided to just keep my distance from him, not to make things awkward. So, my friends and I were standing around and all of a sudden he taps me on the shoulder. Right away I knew he was drunk; really drunk. I had never seen him like that before. His eyes and his smile...he looked like a complete stranger. He said, "Are you pissed?" I shrugged no. I asked him if he was, he said yeah. I then asked him, "Are you driving tonight?" He nodded, with a wierd smile on his lips. I told him that that was not a good idea but he just said, "Who cares?" He never was like this when we went out. We only spoke for a few minutes and then he looked at his watch. He said,"Shouldn't you be running off home? It's almost time for your curfiew." He patted my head and turned to leave, stopped, and slapped me on the ass really hard. Then he left. (He was wearing the sweater I bought him for Christmas.) I was devistated to see him like that and really mad at the same time. It ruined my entire night, naturally. My friends said he was just trying to get a rise out of me, so that maybe I'd call him or take him back. I decided not to call him, but it has been very hard. I don't want him to go off drinking and driving because he's upset about me breaking it off. What should I do about this??? Any advice would greatly help. Thank you.

Hi!

 

This guy is messing with you. He's holding a grudge and trying to get revenge on you for wasting seven month's of his life. That's the way he looks at it now. His ego was crushed, poor baby. And he will take every chance he can to get his revenge. Trying to make you feel as small as he can. Don't let him get to you. Forget about him. He's a jerk. And yes, if he touches you again, press charges. You have to stick up for yourself. Assault is against the law.