LSers that whine after a day or so of NC

[ioncebelieved]

I have been having trouble as of late getting out of my own damn way. No doubt about it, I am a big fan of NC and stuck to it for almost 3 months and until yesterday over a month. Which breaking my NC was a foolish thing and I am paying for it.

 

For those that come in here and start posting how they are on day 1 or whatever day (as long as it is a relatively short time) makes me wonder.

 

Wonder, you ask about what? Wonder how they will be once they have gotten several weeks under their belt. For me NC has gotten easier, then all of a sudden it gets worse when you start thinking about it.

 

Every time I have broken contact, it has been hard on me. Since June, I have been going through this crap. Now it is my own fault because by breaking NC I am not getting out of my way and I have destroyed what ground I have gained.

 

I am not bashing folks that hurt by posting early in their NC walk, just saying it is tough and it will get tougher before things improve.

 

I am starting to believe the theory that it takes half as long as the time you dated a person to really get over them, which gives me about 6 more months.

[Peter_pan]

feel you man, if that theory is correct i have about a year left as of now!

[ioncebelieved]

Hey man, I have been glancing at some of your problems as of late... Sitting in that boat right beside you. Thing for you is what are you going to do during that year?? It is hard!!! Hopefully, you and I along with others hurting here will find peace and a better relationship!!!

 

Part of me looks forward in finding "The right" one and the other part still loves the ex that screwed me up pretty good, then seems fine as her life is back on track.

 

That is what gets me the worst I think... I trusted her and gave my very best and believed her when she said she was separated and getting a divorce. After almost 2 years, that divorce never came and I fell even harder. When we met, I was separated and did get a divorce. Now she is back to her life before her and I had our relationship.

[carhill]

I am starting to believe the theory that it takes half as long as the time you dated a person to really get over them, which gives me about 6 more months.

 

I sincerely hope you're mistaken, or I'll be on Social Security before I'm done

 

Seriously, with total NC, it shouldn't take more than a couple of months to de-tox. What remains, if any, are psychological issues which can be resolved through introspection and/or therapy. Therapy has really helped me in that regard, not so much ridding me of feelings, but rather clarifying them and helping me put a construct to the former chaos

[EmperorR]

Ah i know the frist few days, checking your phone, wishing they would call. Hoping after a while they will remember and revert back to their old self and come back to you. Then as the weeks go on you stop checking every second, if they call or text you, you don't pick up because they don't have that control over you.

 

I'm almost over my ex, its just that she cheated on me and I did nothing but love her, is the last thing I have to go over.

[ioncebelieved]

I sincerely hope you're mistaken, or I'll be on Social Security before I'm done

 

Seriously, with total NC, it shouldn't take more than a couple of months to de-tox. What remains, if any, are psychological issues which can be resolved through introspection and/or therapy. Therapy has really helped me in that regard, not so much ridding me of feelings, but rather clarifying them and helping me put a construct to the former chaos

 

I respectfully disagree with you on this one. I was almost three months NC, while I was doing much better, I was not healed and fully over it.

 

That also takes into account individuals mileage varies depending on certain things. You are painting with a broad brush saying it should take 2 months. It takes a s long as it takes.

 

In my experience, Therapy is paying someone to point out things you need to correct yourself. Now I am not against therapy in all life's situations, just do not consider it an option for me! Hell, I know what the problem is.

[Peter_pan]

Hey man, I have been glancing at some of your problems as of late... Sitting in that boat right beside you. Thing for you is what are you going to do during that year?? It is hard!!! Hopefully, you and I along with others hurting here will find peace and a better relationship!!!

 

Part of me looks forward in finding "The right" one and the other part still loves the ex that screwed me up pretty good, then seems fine as her life is back on track.

 

That is what gets me the worst I think... I trusted her and gave my very best and believed her when she said she was separated and getting a divorce. After almost 2 years, that divorce never came and I fell even harder. When we met, I was separated and did get a divorce. Now she is back to her life before her and I had our relationship.

 

 

for me in the next year, i am hopefully getting another full time job (leaving my current one), do that for 5 months, jan i have a holiday planned with two of my best guy mates then i want to travel and work abroad for a little bit then come september i am planning on going back to university to study for a degree in something, i really need to decide what i want to study .

 

so yeah my year is going to be eventful and who knows who i'll meet. ive decided that by the time i finish university and havnt found anyone etc then i shall break NC and try and go back. I am PRAYING i dont need to go down that road.

[ioncebelieved]

for me in the next year, i am hopefully getting another full time job (leaving my current one), do that for 5 months, jan i have a holiday planned with two of my best guy mates then i want to travel and work abroad for a little bit then come september i am planning on going back to university to study for a degree in something, i really need to decide what i want to study .

 

so yeah my year is going to be eventful and who knows who i'll meet. ive decided that by the time i finish university and havnt found anyone etc then i shall break NC and try and go back. I am PRAYING i dont need to go down that road.

 

The best part of life is having something to look forward to. I used to tell my ex that quite often. It makes life fun, exciting and just nice. Always have something to look forward to.

 

Peter, I am glad you have a pretty decent plan working for you. Just do not rush your healing or allow others into your life in hopes it will help heal you. Only you can do that. Hence the rebound theory.

 

I made the mistake of allowing another women into my life a few months ago and honestly I think it is making me worse. Worse because I care about people and their feelings. This woman wants something serious and time and time again I have told her there cannot be anything serious.

[Peter_pan]

yeah thats kinda what happened to me, i thought i was happy with the new girl but realized i wasn't quite ready. I know ive moved on to some extent,

 

i dont wake up missing her and feeling that feeling.

 

I have a very good photographic memory and so i can remember photos of us together and her face/smile and i can attach a feeling to that photo very easily. and that hurts me.

 

i miss her so much it hurts. but i know i cant change anything, having no control over someone you shared so much with is horrible. she didnt give me time of day at the end of our relationship. it started with her saying she needed a break and some time out etc domestic life was getting stressed we argued. this was before she met him* she was then willing to give us another "shot" but i felt that it was more words than effort, we worked for like a week before falling out. so it felt like to much effort etc and i didnt feel like she tried hard enough tbh.

 

then she changed her job and her views on relationships, she was just like we need to experience other things (meaning people)

 

otherwise thats why people get divorced when older cause they never got a chance to "be them selfs and become independent"

 

well if thats the case why did she jump into a relationship with him almost 3 weeks after i moved out. !!! makes me angry

 

yeah she probably didnt want a LTR with him but now its just become that. and that annoys me. she didnt HAVE to think about me much.

 

all her friends had had a situation like ours even her mum remarried twice, so to her it was like "everyday" life. which to some extent it is, but it still plain hurt.

 

even a year into our relationship i felt i wanted to explore other things etc (i was 18) so as time went on i questioned the unknown even more and she made me feel "trapped" in a way, i missed being single missed being with close mates, family (i moved away from everything to live with her on our gap year and ended up staying up north for uni etc, mistake in hindsight but thats history). so when we got to the end of our relationship we both decided it was for the best that we go our own ways and be single and dependent on our own not on each other, but she got a new job met someone new and moved on right away things became messy as she lost feelings for me. i felt betrayed. basically let me know she was seeing him through an email to me whilst i was away on holiday. the way she put it when i spoke to her on the phone was she had just been on a few "dates" with him.

 

i tried so hard to get her back etc and explained my feelings towards her. but it was to late she told me she didnt feel the same for me and her feelings had changed, she would be lying to herself. "things change, people change". why cant you except its over she would say and "its not what i want".

 

yeah i feel silly for thinking i could have something better than what i had with her. ive learnt the hard way. and now everything is messed up. massive part of me is wanting to fix it.. but how? this is why i constantly feel like breaking nc to get some answers from her and try and question what went wrong? i know she has thought about me, she met my mate for a coffee and asked how i was, why would she do that if she didn't care?

 

the way she has nothing to do with me makes me feel like i did something wrong? im so confused about everything. it just feels like we moved in together way to early and we both weren't really ready to make that kind of commitment to one another.

 

sorry for long post, you can see how stressed i am. i think i need therapy

[northstar1]

yeah thats kinda what happened to me, i thought i was happy with the new girl but realized i wasn't quite ready. I know ive moved on to some extent,

 

i dont wake up missing her and feeling that feeling.

 

I have a very good photographic memory and so i can remember photos of us together and her face/smile and i can attach a feeling to that photo very easily. and that hurts me.

 

i miss her so much it hurts. but i know i cant change anything, having no control over someone you shared so much with is horrible. she didnt give me time of day at the end of our relationship. it started with her saying she needed a break and some time out etc domestic life was getting stressed we argued. this was before she met him* she was then willing to give us another "shot" but i felt that it was more words than effort, we worked for like a week before falling out. so it felt like to much effort etc and i didnt feel like she tried hard enough tbh.

 

then she changed her job and her views on relationships, she was just like we need to experience other things (meaning people)

 

otherwise thats why people get divorced when older cause they never got a chance to "be them selfs and become independent"

 

well if thats the case why did she jump into a relationship with him almost 3 weeks after i moved out. !!! makes me angry

 

yeah she probably didnt want a LTR with him but now its just become that. and that annoys me. she didnt HAVE to think about me much.

 

all her friends had had a situation like ours even her mum remarried twice, so to her it was like "everyday" life. which to some extent it is, but it still plain hurt.

 

even a year into our relationship i felt i wanted to explore other things etc (i was 18) so as time went on i questioned the unknown even more and she made me feel "trapped" in a way, i missed being single missed being with close mates, family (i moved away from everything to live with her on our gap year and ended up staying up north for uni etc, mistake in hindsight but thats history). so when we got to the end of our relationship we both decided it was for the best that we go our own ways and be single and dependent on our own not on each other, but she got a new job met someone new and moved on right away things became messy as she lost feelings for me. i felt betrayed. basically let me know she was seeing him through an email to me whilst i was away on holiday. the way she put it when i spoke to her on the phone was she had just been on a few "dates" with him.

 

i tried so hard to get her back etc and explained my feelings towards her. but it was to late she told me she didnt feel the same for me and her feelings had changed, she would be lying to herself. "things change, people change". why cant you except its over she would say and "its not what i want".

 

yeah i feel silly for thinking i could have something better than what i had with her. ive learnt the hard way. and now everything is messed up. massive part of me is wanting to fix it.. but how? this is why i constantly feel like breaking nc to get some answers from her and try and question what went wrong? i know she has thought about me, she met my mate for a coffee and asked how i was, why would she do that if she didn't care?

 

the way she has nothing to do with me makes me feel like i did something wrong? im so confused about everything. it just feels like we moved in together way to early and we both weren't really ready to make that kind of commitment to one another.

 

sorry for long post, you can see how stressed i am. i think i need therapy

 

Peter - I know you want to break NC, but please think heavily before doing that. Breaking NC rarely has any positive result for anyone.

Your ex may think about you, or care how you are doing, but unless she's stepping up to the plate to get you back, you cannot allow yourself to hold onto hope. Just focus on the road head, not behind.

 

And yes, you may want to look into therapy, it's helped a lot of people to talk out the situation with someone.

 

Stay strong man.

[ioncebelieved]

Peter - I know you want to break NC, but please think heavily before doing that. Breaking NC rarely has any positive result for anyone.

Your ex may think about you, or care how you are doing, but unless she's stepping up to the plate to get you back, you cannot allow yourself to hold onto hope. Just focus on the road head, not behind.

 

And yes, you may want to look into therapy, it's helped a lot of people to talk out the situation with someone.

 

Stay strong man.

 

Man you had to be thinking about me when you gave Peter this advice!!!

[FF84]

It's so hard to stick to NC when you feel there are unresolved issues. You just want to get everything out in the open and get some answers.

 

And going NC is fine, but if there's still thoughts of your ex eating you up inside it's just as bad as it can be so hard to switch off. And counting the days just adds to it, the more you try not to contact them the more you think about them.

 

It just makes you want to scream. ARGHHHHH!

[ioncebelieved]

It's so hard to stick to NC when you feel there are unresolved issues. You just want to get everything out in the open and get some answers.

 

And going NC is fine, but if there's still thoughts of your ex eating you up inside it's just as bad as it can be so hard to switch off. And counting the days just adds to it, the more you try not to contact them the more you think about them.

 

It just makes you want to scream. ARGHHHHH!

 

You got that right! Every bit of it. In my case, I broke NC Friday. It just seems the NC has made her that much further away and I guess in one instance that is a good thing. Too my head it is, but my heart disagrees!

[williamz]

how'd you break NC. and whatd she do?

[Peter_pan]

yeh i am seriously considering breaking it, its not like i dont think about her 24/7 7 days a week anyway..

 

i was going to write an email? or just txt?

 

i hate this whole ffing situation. i ffing miss her. but know its gone. i know i need to move on, but cant... and i know i wont get what i had with her again. i just know it but that could and would be a good thing, we both needed to change some of our ways, ive now learnt to live on my own i am much more independent and i have learnt to be "sorry", before if we argued we would both be soo stubborn about it and wouldn't say sorry to each other. its crazy really.

 

 

ive tried dating, didnt work out, the girl just sent so many red flags it just had to stop, ive hung out with mates, gone out and drunk till my hearts content, got new jobs, been a bum, worked out at the gym for 5 months changed my body drastically (not that i was fat, i just toned up alot), nothing i do will get her out my mind, i have no hope in having what we shared with one another with anyone else.

 

Something is telling me that everything i do new with a new girl will be what i wanted to do with the ex but never got the chance, never got to prove how much i loved her and thats not right.

 

its really a joke. i wish i could just "snap out of it" man up. but i just cant.. ive even done the slap yourself every-time you think of them, only i just end up hurting myself and had constant red face.

 

i never "had a go at her" for her actions or how she went out with him STRAIGHT away, inside i wanted her to come back so much that i didnt want her to hate me if i were to have a go at her and get mad etc.

 

my head knows to a big degree things cannot be the same etc, and i know even if i did get her back etc, i would have so little trust, bitterness, and paranoia in thinking she could just do the same if we ended up falling apart.

 

i was a bad person, tempremental mood swings, anxiousness, depression. no wonder we didnt work. i wish we had just had a break, dated over people and then re connected or something! anything than her go off with a new guy and STILL be with them

 

gawd i am so sorry. i know no one wants to hear this, which makes me feel even worse tbh. feel like a pathetic loser and sound like one to.

[EmperorR]

yeah thats kinda what happened to me, i thought i was happy with the new girl but realized i wasn't quite ready. I know ive moved on to some extent,

 

i dont wake up missing her and feeling that feeling.

 

I have a very good photographic memory and so i can remember photos of us together and her face/smile and i can attach a feeling to that photo very easily. and that hurts me.

 

i miss her so much it hurts. but i know i cant change anything, having no control over someone you shared so much with is horrible. she didnt give me time of day at the end of our relationship. it started with her saying she needed a break and some time out etc domestic life was getting stressed we argued. this was before she met him* she was then willing to give us another "shot" but i felt that it was more words than effort, we worked for like a week before falling out. so it felt like to much effort etc and i didnt feel like she tried hard enough tbh.

 

then she changed her job and her views on relationships, she was just like we need to experience other things (meaning people)

 

otherwise thats why people get divorced when older cause they never got a chance to "be them selfs and become independent"

 

well if thats the case why did she jump into a relationship with him almost 3 weeks after i moved out. !!! makes me angry

 

yeah she probably didnt want a LTR with him but now its just become that. and that annoys me. she didnt HAVE to think about me much.

 

all her friends had had a situation like ours even her mum remarried twice, so to her it was like "everyday" life. which to some extent it is, but it still plain hurt.

 

even a year into our relationship i felt i wanted to explore other things etc (i was 18) so as time went on i questioned the unknown even more and she made me feel "trapped" in a way, i missed being single missed being with close mates, family (i moved away from everything to live with her on our gap year and ended up staying up north for uni etc, mistake in hindsight but thats history). so when we got to the end of our relationship we both decided it was for the best that we go our own ways and be single and dependent on our own not on each other, but she got a new job met someone new and moved on right away things became messy as she lost feelings for me. i felt betrayed. basically let me know she was seeing him through an email to me whilst i was away on holiday. the way she put it when i spoke to her on the phone was she had just been on a few "dates" with him.

 

i tried so hard to get her back etc and explained my feelings towards her. but it was to late she told me she didnt feel the same for me and her feelings had changed, she would be lying to herself. "things change, people change". why cant you except its over she would say and "its not what i want".

 

yeah i feel silly for thinking i could have something better than what i had with her. ive learnt the hard way. and now everything is messed up. massive part of me is wanting to fix it.. but how? this is why i constantly feel like breaking nc to get some answers from her and try and question what went wrong? i know she has thought about me, she met my mate for a coffee and asked how i was, why would she do that if she didn't care?

 

the way she has nothing to do with me makes me feel like i did something wrong? im so confused about everything. it just feels like we moved in together way to early and we both weren't really ready to make that kind of commitment to one another.

 

sorry for long post, you can see how stressed i am. i think i need therapy

 

Ah I know how it feels, my ex told me oh i want to be alone, few weekss later already with a new guy probably screwing him already.

 

And you did nothing wrong, i thought that at first before I slapped myself, they are the ones with the problems not us.

[Peter_pan]

yeah thats what she said to me, she wants to be single right now...

 

also it is my fault i think.. basically we decided together we needed space so i lived in the spare bedroom, things couldnt be better, i felt free and happier, she missed me being in bed with her and i missed her to. a month went on and we said we were single but deep down we were still "each others"

 

then at one point she said i think we should be back together but i didnt say no and i didnt say yes BECAUSE i didnt want us to slip back to old ways and argue.

 

it didnt help that at the time she was looking for a new house to actually buy and set up a mortgage for!! she asked me to move in with her (mainly so she could buy a 3 bedroom i reckon) but again i didnt know. i was scared things would be rubbish and id end up being kicked out, or if i said yes well it meant i had to think about a mortgage when im only 20 (at the time...)

 

so big big big commitments, this on top of the fact as i said i have never been with anyone else...

 

everything is ffing sh*t.

 

so then she got this new job and before i knew it, she was off with him, leaving me without a care.

 

is that my fault. i dont know. never will.

[northstar1]

yeh i am seriously considering breaking it, its not like i dont think about her 24/7 7 days a week anyway..

 

i was going to write an email? or just txt?

 

i hate this whole ffing situation. i ffing miss her. but know its gone. i know i need to move on, but cant... and i know i wont get what i had with her again. i just know it but that could and would be a good thing, we both needed to change some of our ways, ive now learnt to live on my own i am much more independent and i have learnt to be "sorry", before if we argued we would both be soo stubborn about it and wouldn't say sorry to each other. its crazy really.

 

 

ive tried dating, didnt work out, the girl just sent so many red flags it just had to stop, ive hung out with mates, gone out and drunk till my hearts content, got new jobs, been a bum, worked out at the gym for 5 months changed my body drastically (not that i was fat, i just toned up alot), nothing i do will get her out my mind, i have no hope in having what we shared with one another with anyone else.

 

Something is telling me that everything i do new with a new girl will be what i wanted to do with the ex but never got the chance, never got to prove how much i loved her and thats not right.

 

its really a joke. i wish i could just "snap out of it" man up. but i just cant.. ive even done the slap yourself every-time you think of them, only i just end up hurting myself and had constant red face.

 

i never "had a go at her" for her actions or how she went out with him STRAIGHT away, inside i wanted her to come back so much that i didnt want her to hate me if i were to have a go at her and get mad etc.

 

my head knows to a big degree things cannot be the same etc, and i know even if i did get her back etc, i would have so little trust, bitterness, and paranoia in thinking she could just do the same if we ended up falling apart.

 

i was a bad person, tempremental mood swings, anxiousness, depression. no wonder we didnt work. i wish we had just had a break, dated over people and then re connected or something! anything than her go off with a new guy and STILL be with them

 

gawd i am so sorry. i know no one wants to hear this, which makes me feel even worse tbh. feel like a pathetic loser and sound like one to.

 

Peter, you need to ask yourself a few things, before you send anything:

 

1)What do you want to say to her in the email? That you miss her? That you are sorry? That you can't move on and still think of her? That you want her back?

 

What would the purpose of reaching out to her? Do you have things you want to say to her? IF so, you probably always will have just one more you want to say to her, and it will be a never-ending cycle.

Are you hoping that by contacting her she will change her mind and want a reconcilliation?

 

You need to think hard and ask yourself what is the purpose of reaching out to her.

 

2)How will you react if she either doesn't respond, or responds in a very cool or detached fasion? What do you think her reaction will be to you contacting her? If she ignores it, will you drive yourself mental thinking about it?

 

It seems that the majority of people on here who have reached out, and it doesn't necessarily matter if it's 2 days, two weeks or months after the breakup, they rarely come back with a happy story. Most end up feeling they've set themselves back, because you rarely get back anything that is of any use to you.

 

I know the desire to contact them can be overwhelming, and you crave just some form of contact, to give some validation that they still think of you, or care about you. But the payout rarely meets the desire of what you seek by doing it.

 

Just really think it over before doing it mate, because it's a slippery slope.

[Peter_pan]

Peter, you need to ask yourself a few things, before you send anything:

 

1)What do you want to say to her in the email? That you miss her? That you are sorry? That you can't move on and still think of her? That you want her back?

 

What would the purpose of reaching out to her? Do you have things you want to say to her? IF so, you probably always will have just one more you want to say to her, and it will be a never-ending cycle.

Are you hoping that by contacting her she will change her mind and want a reconcilliation?

 

You need to think hard and ask yourself what is the purpose of reaching out to her.

 

2)How will you react if she either doesn't respond, or responds in a very cool or detached fasion? What do you think her reaction will be to you contacting her? If she ignores it, will you drive yourself mental thinking about it?

 

It seems that the majority of people on here who have reached out, and it doesn't necessarily matter if it's 2 days, two weeks or months after the breakup, they rarely come back with a happy story. Most end up feeling they've set themselves back, because you rarely get back anything that is of any use to you.

 

I know the desire to contact them can be overwhelming, and you crave just some form of contact, to give some validation that they still think of you, or care about you. But the payout rarely meets the desire of what you seek by doing it.

 

Just really think it over before doing it mate, because it's a slippery slope.

 

i want to say sorry for how i used to be, i want to tell her i miss her have missed her, tell her i havnt and cant move on, tell her i am angry the way she went out with him straight away, that its just ffing not right.

 

yeah i would like her to change her mind, and yeah i would like her to be sorry and yeah i would like her to love me again.

 

:(

 

being with her for over 3 years seems totally a waste of life, the fact she dosnt talk to me. i have reached out to her before. got nothing back.

 

then i hear through a mate she went on a coffee break with him whilst she was down visiting and chatted about stuff. she asked how i was, he said something along the lines of "hes getting back on his feet, she got my number off him cause she lost it, she told him knowing full well he would tell me that she isnt with him anymore because things got progressively worse and that she is just wanting to be single again, he told her to contact me, she said hmm maybe i will. she never did.

 

and its stayed that way ever since end of june. then about 2 months ago she is back with him and to my knowledge still is

 

he didnt tell me she was down visiting because he said he knew i wanted to kill her bf or something. and he thinks she hasnt txt me because she is scared of me and my emotions and dosnt want to hurt me anymore..

 

and i didnt contact her knowing she wasnt with him because i stupidly thought she would txt me. plus i was very happy to know it didnt work out.. and i wanted to just wait for something...

 

and now she is back with him. i missed my chance. but tbh i had tried to reach out before when she wasnt with him and got nothing in return

[northstar1]

i want to say sorry for how i used to be, i want to tell her i miss her have missed her, tell her i havnt and cant move on, tell her i am angry the way she went out with him straight away, that its just ffing not right.

 

yeah i would like her to change her mind, and yeah i would like her to be sorry and yeah i would like her to love me again.

 

:(

 

being with her for over 3 years seems totally a waste of life, the fact she dosnt talk to me. i have reached out to her before. got nothing back.

 

then i hear through a mate she went on a coffee break with him whilst she was down visiting and chatted about stuff. she asked how i was, he said something along the lines of "hes getting back on his feet, she got my number off him cause she lost it, she told him knowing full well he would tell me that she isnt with him anymore because things got progressively worse and that she is just wanting to be single again, he told her to contact me, she said hmm maybe i will. she never did.

 

and its stayed that way ever since end of june. then about 2 months ago she is back with him and to my knowledge still is

 

he didnt tell me she was down visiting because he said he knew i wanted to kill her bf or something. and he thinks she hasnt txt me because she is scared of me and my emotions and dosnt want to hurt me anymore..

 

and i didnt contact her knowing she wasnt with him because i stupidly thought she would txt me. plus i was very happy to know it didnt work out.. and i wanted to just wait for something...

 

and now she is back with him. i missed my chance. but tbh i had tried to reach out before when she wasnt with him and got nothing in return

 

Then you need to let it go my friend. If you've reached out before, and she didn't reply, she's not ready to talk to you.

My concern is that if you do email her, and she doesn't reply, it will set you back to day 1. Trust me, I know how hard it is.....

[Peter_pan]

. thats what kept me from reaching out again after i found out she wasn't with him for the second time.. i hoped (stupid) that she would initiate contact.

 

i hate that she didnt care enough. not enough to say happy bday. which was our would have been anniversary. so sad.

 

i will alway miss her. and i am so sad that she will never come back and be the person who i never knew i loved so much. life is **** and yeah i know people are worse off.

 

sorry guys. i feel like i waste so much of peoples time.

[mmk1]

It really seems like all the posts in the area boil down to the excellant advice of NC and with arguments against doing just that by those who need to follow it the most. It is simple, it is just not easy.

[northstar1]

. thats what kept me from reaching out again after i found out she wasn't with him for the second time.. i hoped (stupid) that she would initiate contact.

 

i hate that she didnt care enough. not enough to say happy bday. which was our would have been anniversary. so sad.

 

i will alway miss her. and i am so sad that she will never come back and be the person who i never knew i loved so much. life is **** and yeah i know people are worse off.

 

sorry guys. i feel like i waste so much of peoples time.

 

Not at all mate. You are in pain - we've all been there, or are there.

Her not contacting you, she may be concerned about your feelings and knows that contacting you, when she is not looking to get back, will just be hard.

[northstar1]

It really seems like all the posts in the area boil down to the excellant advice of NC and with arguments against doing just that by those who need to follow it the most. It is simple, it is just not easy.

 

Not it's not easy, it's one of the hardest things to do - but the cons usually greatly outweigh the pros.

[Peter_pan]

It really seems like all the posts in the area boil down to the excellant advice of NC and with arguments against doing just that by those who need to follow it the most. It is simple, it is just not easy.

 

thanks so your saying, stay with nc since its best just not easy, but most people saying stay nc are the ones who break it and need to follow it more carefully?

 

i guess i want her to be sorry and for us to be friends/ or more specifically just have a chit chat once every 4 months or something you know what i mean? i think that would be good. dont know if i could handle it though