I aggravated my b/f and now I am afraid of losing him!!!

[enchanted771]

Before I explain my situation, let me say that the first month we have been extremely happy. We text, im and sometimes talk on the phone (he isnt a big phone guy) which is fine with me. He is a very honest and humorous guy. He instigated the conversations about a future together, being attached to one another, wedding, you name it! but now it seems I am really in need of help to salvage this relationship that I dont want to lose.

 

I have been seeing this guy for about 2 months maybe even less. I kind of screwed up last week. I text him non-stop and he was at work and I kind of made him look bad, which he really hates. It pretty much got so bad that right now he doesnt feel he has not gotten to the point where he has to talk to me all the time. Before this incident, we would text each other during the day. I kind of screwed it up, by text him and then If he doesnt respond within say, 20 min then I would text him again. He kind of said something how it bothers him last week. But, I didnt listen too well. Then one night, he said he would call me back and I didnt listen to that either.

So, yesterday we exchanged a couple emails and really had a long discussion in IM. He has told me from Day 1 that he likes to take things one day at a time. Well, I guess I didnt listen. I always assume he is mad or something if he doesnt answer my text and he hates that. Bottom line is: he has told me he is going to take things slow. He has also told me, that if I push him that he will go his separate way. Is this normal? maybe I pushed him to his limit? what can I do to salvage this relationship? I know I screwed up BIG TIME but I really get it now.

When we talked in IM he didnt say that he was breaking it off, but that email he wrote wasnt nice at all, and it is pretty much a BIG warning sign that he will if I continue the way I am going. I really need help with this guys. He has also said in that email that he still likes me, but obviously he is extremely aggravated with me because he hasnt text me alllll day. I dont know if this is normal and I just need to give him a little time or what. Really just not sure what to do.... he would even text me goodnight every night with a kiss emoticon...good luck with that happening now!

[DunnoWhat]

Sounds to me like he is very interested in you but you could ruin it all by not giving him space.

 

 

Just because he doesn't text you back straight away doesn't mean anything. So don't worry about not getting a text back straight away. I wait about 20 min to send a text to my girl and she doesn't mind.

[enchanted771]

I agree. I just hate to cut off all forms of communication right now but i think i would just be working against myself if I dont. There is no way in heck that he would answer the phone or text right now. How many days do you think is sufficient time? 3? I just dont want to distance myself too much or he may take that as a sign I dont care. What I am planning on doing is having a serious conversation with him. I already know he wants to take it slow--that i have known from day 1. I know that he wants to eventually settle down. I just need to find out how much communication is over bearing to him. Once I iron things out with him I will feel better. I will have to keep myself more busy than I have been and let him do some of the communicating. Its just right now its kind of in the air, and I need to kind of lay everything on the table, once he has cooled down a bit. Friday, when we talked on IM he was just very bitter. He may very well be bitter for a couple weeks or until he sees I am not gonna bombard him.

[Island Girl]

You have been in an LDR for 2 months --- 2 MONTHS!

 

Whoa, are you going off the deep end? It sounds like you bought into the "future together" hook, line, and sinker? Slow down. Not only for his sake but for yours. How much do you know about this guy and how are you so sure he is "the one"?

 

How did you meet? Have you ever met in person?

 

He has a job - which means he is busy working during those hours. You should understand that at the very least and do not expect contact during that time. Occupy yourself with other things and talk when you can.

 

Not getting an answer for 20 minutes freaks you out? Why? What would cause you to be so insecure?

[Ariadne]

he would even text me goodnight every night with a kiss emoticon...good luck with that happening now!

 

There is no way in heck that he would answer the phone or text right now.

 

Seems like he is backpedaling.

 

I'm kind of like you (writing, contacting) and I've had the experience of many guys backing away.

 

Two months is still too soon to tell, you are just getting to know each other. Good luck though.

[enchanted771]

I know, I know. That is why we had this long discussion on Friday about it. He pretty much told me if I continued that I would push him away for good...I wish I had saved that damn IM lol. But I remember something to that affect. As of right now, he hasnt completely shifted away but it will if I even do that once then that is it...

[Ariadne]

I know, I know. That is why we had this long discussion on Friday about it. He pretty much told me if I continued that I would push him away for good...I wish I had saved that damn IM lol. But I remember something to that affect. As of right now, he hasnt completely shifted away but it will if I even do that once then that is it...

 

Well,

 

Ideally he'll understand that you need some kind of contact and not freak out if you write too much.

 

(In my case, I don't expect too much but I don't like to be ignored, then I tend to pest more when that happens)

 

Part of the getting to know one another, hopefully it's not all lost.

[enchanted771]

I dont think its lost--I think he would have just told me that its over. He said he likes the Good Morning texts (he is in a meeting when I do) but not after that. And I am not even sure about the evening or not, going forward, its better off if we just talk on the phone for a couple minutes rather than these darn texts. Honestly, they just make me more insecure. Before this incident (like about a week and a half ago) I didnt text him and so he sent me a text in the afternoon saying are you ok? how is your day going? so I know that he cares.

[Island Girl]

I'm kind of like you (writing, contacting) and I've had the experience of many guys backing away.

 

Then why would you keep making the same mistake over and over?

 

Why do you overwhelm with contact? Have you ever gotten to the bottom of that issue to try to resolve it?

 

"Ideally he'll understand that you need some kind of contact and not freak out if you write too much." ---- Ugh NO --- Ideally you would understand that you are special and wanted and have more going on in your life than text or e-mail someone all day long. No well adjusted person would welcome that kind of desperate attention. It is needy and insecure and it drives balanced people away.