JePam Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 I live in Australia and my husband lives in America. We are currently in the process of getting all that we need to get me over there, but the problem is that when we talk on the phone a majority of the time we have nothing to talk about about and we are just sitting there in silence. Im sure that when i get there it wont really be the case because we'll be going places and doing things together but for now its just hard because we dont have anything to talk about. So should we limit how much we call each other to just a couple times a week and not every day? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 How long have you guys been together? Were you together in RL at all before this? My husband and I have been LD for quite some time -- and since we were married it has been LD. (He is in Tonga and I am in America.) Sometimes we have a lot to talk about and sometimes the days have been uneventful and there is less discussion. We can only talk 2 to 3 times a week now because calling cards haven't worked to be able to call him since April of this year. Both of us have no doubt of our commitment to each other at this point so we don't need constant reassurance. The end of our LOOOONG LDR is soon - his interview is supposed to be in November and then he is here directly after. One thing you can do is reminisce about the times you have spent together. We do that because our memories are all we have right now -- and it does help to keep the conversation going when it seems to slow down. Link to post Share on other sites
Amy22 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 I find the same thing is happening in my LDR. We were together for 3 years before he moved and it has now been over a year that it has been a LDR. I am not sure if this is normal but I wanted you to know you are not alone. I also want to say we always had things to talk about when we lived together. It is just hard when you are apart. You are not doing things together to talk about. It seems weird to tell the person every little thing that happened in your day. We talk everyday and most days it is just for a few minutes. Once a week we try to play games online and talk for a longer period of time. One thing I did to try and help was come up with some questions. Like what is your favorite childhood memory or what is your biggest fantasy. We would take turns asking each other questions while we were playing games online. That really helped but we soon ran out of questions. We talk about things we want to do together in the future. But again that died. Good Luck. I know it is hard. I do think talking everyday is good even if it is just for a few mintues about how your day was. Then I would just try to make sure once and while you have longer conversations and try to find something you could do to make the conversation longer. Come up with some things you can talk about before had. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JePam Posted October 27, 2008 Author Share Posted October 27, 2008 thanks guys. We've decided to just talk a few times a week now.. I just cant sit there and tell someone the trival things i did during the day. Ironing, grocery shopping and taking the dog for a walk arent really things to talk about for me. thanks for helping guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 thanks guys. We've decided to just talk a few times a week now.. I just cant sit there and tell someone the trival things i did during the day. Ironing, grocery shopping and taking the dog for a walk arent really things to talk about for me. thanks for helping guys. I used to make mental notes during daily activities of things around me (goings on or people, etc.) that were quirky or strange and that helped with conversation. He didn't but he is not as keen on talking as he is listening most of the time. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts