CS1976 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Ok, first I would like to say that I know the skepticism behind meeting someone online however I would really like some advice I met a guy online about 3 months ago, (I live in the US, he lives in Spain.) We have a lot in common, have chatted (msn) almost everyday for 3 months and we've exchanged tons of pictures. It's a complete coincidence that I will be in Southern Spain for 2 weeks this summer, (an hour from where he lives.) This was a trip planned months before I met him online. We have planned to meet, (I will be in the company of my friends of course when we meet ) Here's my question. I am very curious about his intentions. He often says things to me like, "My heart bleeds for you" and then later he will say he was kidding. And often eludes to things that would make me think he has feelings for me, but often follows with...I'm kidding. He often makes comments that elude to having feelings for me. Sometimes he'll say he's kidding, sometimes not. By the way, I never react to his comments, I just change the subject because I don't know how to respond. It really doesn't matter either way. However, the curiousity is killing me. What is your opinion. 1- Does he say these things to feel me out? 2- Is he really joking when he says these things to me...what is the point? 3- He is just a really, really sarcastic person and likes playing mind games? He has made it very clear that he is shy and often does not talk about his feelings for fear of rejection. Is he expressing his true feelings through sarcasm? Please...some advice!!! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 If by "this summer", you mean summer 2009, I'd suggest you pony up some frequent flier miles and go visit sooner. IMO, continuing this without personal contact will foster unrealistic expectations and could even destroy the potential which currently exists. I've experienced both sides of that coin with such interactions and can say, without a doubt, that meeting in person as quickly as possible after discovering a connection is the way I'd go. Air travel is cheap these days but not if you're doing it every month. FWIW, a LDR with someone in another country can be exceedingly expensive overall, so look at this realistically I've left the analysis part for last. Don't analyze. Ask "What do you mean by that?" Also, get an international calling plan or card. Talk to him. If he's truly interested, he'll be right on-board for that. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 There may be a language difficulty. My husband often says "I don't mean it but..." when what he is meaning is he means what he is saying but in a softer way than it may come across. The same thing might be happening with his "I'm kidding" statement. He means it but not to the full effect of the words he is using. Hope that makes sense. Both of you can download skype and talk for free. I would highly recommend that so you can iron out the vocabulary choices he is making and get a more accurate picture of his emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
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