2sure Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 WOW. When the way your partner's WALK is bothering you, you have to consider some kind of stress relief. I think a vacation, together or apart, some recreation - OP sounds more irritated than anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Or maybe she really has fallen out of love with her husband. I mean to be irritated all the time by the one you're supposed to love is a sign that maybe she SHOULD end it and find a man more suitable to her visual needs. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Yup.... To me, and I'll preface this by stating that I started losing my hair in my 20's (and shave my head now, 30 years later) that someone who judges a spouse by such criteria likely is dealing with issues of their own. Since there are children involved, I'd suggest some MC for clarity. I have a feeling there hasn't been a whole lot of effective communication of late... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I mean, imagine this woman's husband wanting her to lose weight right after giving birth. Her body must have changed since having afew kids.. Maybe her boobs hang lower and are saggy, her 'know what you' isn't as tight as before.. Her tummy is flabby.. And it turned him off.. To the original poster, imagine how YOU would feel if your husband put demands on you, shallow yes, but still couldn't help the way he felt. What would you do? Wouldn't you expect him to still love you? To look past some physical changes? I don't understand why you can't look past his, UNLESS you do not love him anymore as a husband, and if that is the case, divorce, let him go so he can find happiness and love with another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Stay at home Mom, 3 kids...I would be irritated at the fact that he left the freaking house. I know the "spark" can be lost but the love still be there. I know sometimes both can be lost together. This might be a phase (not that his hair is going to grow back) . I just suggest trying to get to a happier place together before deciding something more serious. If they wait it out long enough, she may find that his baldness doesnt bother her anymore than her fat a** bothers him. And before anyone jumps on that, I'm just using a sarcastic but classic example of a relationship phase in middle age. Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Believe it or not I'm going to side with you... I believe that expressing your needs is a legitimate part of the marriage process. A marriage unit should be about meeting emotional needs. Don't let it fester. Talk to each other about your desires and needs. You might want to check out "His Needs /Her needs" by Dr Harley. You go girl. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 My H and I have had some serious problems since we married. We have dealt with infidelity, ex (s), child rearing diputes, financial messes, and most recently one of his "indiscretions" turned up unexpectedly. I have been really edgey of late and have questioned both he and myself if we should ever have even gotten married. What really tipped me over the edge and got me crying and shouting at him was: He was talking to the CAT. He does it all the time, but that day it made me nuts. Now, I know I'm not jealous of the cat. Its the other stuff that this about. I hope. I mean, its my cat. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 My H and I have had some serious problems since we married. We have dealt with infidelity, ex (s), child rearing diputes, financial messes, and most recently one of his "indiscretions" turned up unexpectedly. I have been really edgey of late and have questioned both he and myself if we should ever have even gotten married. What really tipped me over the edge and got me crying and shouting at him was: He was talking to the CAT. He does it all the time, but that day it made me nuts. Now, I know I'm not jealous of the cat. Its the other stuff that this about. I hope. I mean, its my cat. That sounds like quite a roller coaster ride. If those problems are all on his end, I think maybe you should think about getting off this particular ride before it makes you sick. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Kenneth, thank you so much for your refreshing advice. However, this is not my thread or question. I was simply pointing out that "irritations" can be the result of more serious issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Wicked Smile Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I have a problem with my husband of 9 years. He's a computer nerd(he works in the field) and yes he does support his family well, but his nerdy ways have been getting on my nerves. He walks like a sissy, has gone bald despite my 12 month supply of rogaine i purchased for him several christmases ago that he did not use, and is not very social. It was ok in the beginning but he appears to have never grown up and I don't feel secure with a sissy any longer. No, I cannot leave him because I am a full-time parent raising our 3 children, but I would like some pointers on how to create more of a man out of him. TY! Sounds to me your 1 step away from finding a bad boy, a man's man lol. It's actually sad the level of disrepect you have for him. So unless you have tatas that perk like you're 18, curves that don't stop and a hoohoo made of honey...I'd tone down the disrepect or else the finger pointing starts with you . Start off your post with .... "I love my husband. He's a great provider and father. I just wish he was more Alpha..." Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Go leave him and find a real bad boy who will treat you like crap. Just because a man is nerdy does not mean that he is a sissy. I am starting to become somewhat of a nerd but believe me I am no sissy. These bad boys usually are soft inside anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Higher testosterone levels are linked to baldness. Just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
mockeryjones Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 I would like some pointers on how to create more of a man out of him. TY! so let me get this straight. taking on all the burden of providing for you and your three little mouths to feed isn't being enough of a man for you? grow up, you sound like a teen ager who wants her boyfriend to get in bar fights over her so she can feel like a prize. well if you want him to treat you like you are a prize worth fighting for i strongly suggest you become that prize worth fighting for, becuase right now you seem like a spoiled little girl who doesn't deserve a man willing to carry the load for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 I think you two should switch roles for a few years. Let your H fill the stereotyped female roles while you take on the more male thought of roles. What annoys me about posts like the OPs is the utter lack of desire to actually DO anything about the situation. It was a vent, a rant, a scream for attention. She doesn't want to change anything, and she definitely does NOT want her sissy man to stop paying all the bills. So she complains about it on here and then abandons the thread. If you don't like your life, change it. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 I just read your other post. You haven't had sex with your husband in over a month? If you don't fix the problems, you aren't going to have to worry about your H being a sissy (in your eyes). He's going to leave you and take your children. Considering you don't have a job, or any way to support yourself, then you better get your act together before you two split ways permenantly. Link to post Share on other sites
motive2002 Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 Here's an off the cuff thought. Reward him with anything manly he does. Reinforce any masculine behavior, whether it's cutting the grass, changing a tire... any sort of manly thing will do. If you make your man feel like a man, he will be more manly.. if that makes any sense. Manliness to me isn't necessarily a neanderthal thing. It's an attitude that a man is in control. He can shape his environment. He is resourceful and ready to take on challeneges. Perhaps early on in life he was positively reinforced with effeminate behavior. Maybe it's time to change that. This carries into the bedroom as well, but that's a whole other topic. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 Kenneth, thank you so much for your refreshing advice. However, this is not my thread or question. I was simply pointing out that "irritations" can be the result of more serious issues. *Sigh* Okay, I apologize and withdraw my sympathies. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 I have a problem with my husband of 9 years. He's a computer nerd(he works in the field) and yes he does support his family well, but his nerdy ways have been getting on my nerves. He walks like a sissy, has gone bald despite my 12 month supply of rogaine i purchased for him several christmases ago that he did not use, and is not very social. It was ok in the beginning but he appears to have never grown up and I don't feel secure with a sissy any longer. No, I cannot leave him because I am a full-time parent raising our 3 children, but I would like some pointers on how to create more of a man out of him. TY! This is simple.. you have fallen out of love with him.. plain and simple.. I felt that way with my first ex.. I couldn't even stand him breathing next to me.. You CAN leave him.. find a job.. share custody of the children... but if you think this is NOT an option.. then you can always live like roommates and stay for the sake of the kids.. but, please, think about you.. and start looking for a job or to go back to school... you need to start a life of your own. You cannot change him.. but you can try to 'accept' the fact that you are no longer in love with this man.. and you need to start thinking about moving on... Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 It would seem that avoiding having to work is the goal... Link to post Share on other sites
Heroic Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 If he has a bad hairline, shave his head. Thats hardcore! Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 this is one of the funniest threads ever! Link to post Share on other sites
Ramrod Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Wow...some of you act as though you know all about her relationship from just a paragraph enough to make such hard judgments about her. I know the misery and loneliness of being with someone that bores you to tears. It is a very, very lonely existence. I'm just wondering was he always like this? The OP deserves to be happy. It's possible the passion is gone and she's no longer in love with him. He may be taking her for granted thinking she's always going to be around. Imagine that...him thinking she'll always be around, where might he have gotten that idea...could it have been the marriage vows? Op, I understand your problem and I'm offering a solution. What you want to do is set your husband up to be arrested on a low-grade felony charge. Plant an illegal weapon or a small amount of a controlled substance on him or in the car and rat him out to the cops. They arrest him, toss him in jail, and there he will have to f*** or fight. Don't bail him out. Let spend a few eeks in gladiator academy, that should toughen up your sissy-boy. Link to post Share on other sites
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