I can't believe it!

[JamieA]

In his own words.........

 

 

 

Okay, I am screwed up in the head... I have always been the first to say it. And what is sad, is that I have lived like this so long, a part of me gets joy from it.

 

 

DNR

[marriedandsad]

PS Limbo. I have cops and lawyers in my family, so that is were I get some of my information from as well. And they tell me the same thing... They have little compulsion for running either man or woman in and most of them don't if an assault, as long as it was not one that was serious (i.e. weapons were involved, someone dead, or put in the hospital for an extended stay), then they just walk away or they'll handle the issue right there on the spot. Most other people and/or cheating spouse refuse to make a statement after the little speech. And no they don't use threats. The reason with the person for them to see how they brought the problem on themselves and they need to work the issues out among themselves before the get the courts involved.

 

 

DNR

 

So the next time somebody hurts me, I can threaten to kill them and brandish a weapon and not face any kind of legal ramifications? So the next time my crazy set of in-laws tries to talk my husband into leaving me, I can get in their face, whip out a gun and say "Stay away from us or I'll kill you" and you see that as a perfectly rational and reasonable reaction that doesn't cross any lines? I mean after all, they ARE trying to destroy my family.

[Agent_99]

Precious,

 

While I wasn't threatened with bodily harm I was harrassed recently to cause the end of an affair that had already ended. When I contacted the police about it stopped. But I was and still am worried. What if BS thinks that we continue seeing each other? What is she truly capable of. I was very glad to read that you went to the police! Not that it is a true protection fromsomeone who means you harm, but it is a start.

 

Limbo... I heard you talk about my mother, my sanity (which by the way doctors find nothing wrong with it and I HAVE told them about some of the stunts I pulled to receive justice for a wrong done unto me, and they say just as long as I did not go over the top or cross the lines of breaking the law, I am okay), and I hear you think I am immature (which is far from the truth, as a matter of fact, I am told I take things too seriously by friends and family and others who truly know and understand me). So, you loose on that case. And the reason why my girlfriend cheated was because she was the one who was immature. She decided that she wanted to make fun of me in front of her friends. And then, beg me to say something mean back. I refused until she started getting all huffy and mad, so I said to words that popped into my head, "hippo hips." She asked for it and she got it. And that started her downward tumble. So, be careful what you do and what you wish for, sometimes it comes back in ways you least expect it.

 

Now a few questions for you... What excuse or reason did your ex-husband give for cheating on you? And why are you divorced now? What is wrong with you that your husband or anyone would want to hurt you like he did?

 

Huh, illegal, I beg to differ. A man shot to death a 18 your old boy who was carrying on an affair with his wife. He only got two years for negligent use of his weapon. A man who shot the lover of his wife got no time at all. A man in the Marine Corps who ran his sword through his wife and her lover while they were in bed, got off scott free. And most judges and cops by records don't trouble a person who assualted someone who did harm to someone who was having an affair with their wife. It is only if the crime is over the top is anything really done. And that's from studies. So, is really a lack of matury to assault those who are doing harm to you, even if it is through a third party act? Is revealing the truth and putting the spotlight on the evils that are done in the dark illegal or childish? If so, then you best to start with the one who has NO tolerance for adultry, God.

 

 

DNR

 

Your last sentence there DNR kind of sums it up, isn't god the final judge, not humanity. There is no way that you are free of sin, so there is also no way that you are free to be the first to cast stones. Isn't murder a sin?

 

You just don't get it Limbo. It flys over your head. And reality isn't what you can deal with. Secondly, your taking the subject off topic. We know how you feel and we know how I feel. Now if you would be mature and stop with the personal attacks like the mature woman you claim to be, we can each make rational valid points. Use information at hand to support and dispute each other's postions. But, the personal attacks of you guys against me really need to stop. Now lets keep the thread on track.

 

The thread was about a woman who willing was a party to destroying someone's life. This kid sees her as a treat to his life, the life of his mother, and all that he holds dear. And he is right in threatening her if she is a threat.

 

Being an other person IS a threat. A threat to the nornalacy and peace of his household. Plus, you are adding pain unto the family, emotional pain can be and usually is more damaging than physical pain. An affair harms a persons view on sex, how a man and woman should treat each other, the promises to each other the vows represents, and it destroys the view they have of their parents. This is why adultry is such a damning thing. And the kid had every right to threaten harm to someone who was hurting him. We all would do it on our own terms and ideas. So, he is not wrong. The only wrong people hear are the poster who is getting what she deserves. And the cheating man who needs a good kick in the butt too.

 

And lastly, to clear something up for all you who do not understand what I am saying. I neither agree or disagree with how adulterers are punished. Just as long as both are equally punished. And the ones who are punished are those who KNOWINGLY engage in adultery. So, if it is being ostrasized and divorced. So be it. If it is being stoned. So be it. Justice is justice and is dependant on the society. And I see nothing wrong with that.

 

 

DNR

 

I just can't see how harming someone emotionally or bodily is a fit punishment for any crime, criminal or of the heart. I can see standing up for yourself and saying, I won't put up with this and leave the situation. Hate feeds hate and love feeds love. Both can become twisted into something they shouldn't be. But that is still no excuse for taking someone's life. They have their own lessons to learn, and I don't see how it is up to another flawed human to teach them those lessons.

Sometimes all a person is doing is trying to get through life as best they can, and while your caught in the moment you can't see the impact of how your choices will affect you and those around you.

 

I accept that being harrassed came about as part of MY choices and actions in this life, BUT it does not give BS the right to have done what she did either. Should I now retaliate against her for scaring the crud out of my mother the night she called the cops to my house while I was at work?

 

~99

[Dark-N-Romantic]

In his own words.........

 

Wow. Nice piece job. Now be a smart person and either A) Print out EVERYTHING THAT IS WAS REFERRING TO and ITS THREAD. Or B) Tell the readers what thread its from.

 

Really. It is really people like you are really pathetic when you try to cutout or misdirect what people say. And what is even more pathetic, a lot of people are going to not going to be intelligent enough to investigate any further. Oh well, its not like its going to affect my life.

 

 

DNR

[Dark-N-Romantic]

So the next time somebody hurts me, I can threaten to kill them and brandish a weapon and not face any kind of legal ramifications?

 

Yes. You have every right to defend yourself within reasonable means and in accordance with the level of the threat.

 

So the next time my crazy set of in-laws tries to talk my husband into leaving me, I can get in their face, whip out a gun and say "Stay away from us or I'll kill you" and you see that as a perfectly rational and reasonable reaction that doesn't cross any lines? I mean after all, they ARE trying to destroy my family.

 

You have every right to tell them to stay away and stop interferring with your family. And if you wish to place a threat of harm to them, your in your every right. Now, you CANNOT pull out a weapon on them. But, I have read cases where someone has pulled out their weapon to support their intent in order to get someone to leave them alone, and no charges were levied against them.

 

Even today the legal system have a LOT of sympathy on those who have been pushed to the end. But, the threat has to be of a certain reasoning. For example, if someone engages in a physical affair with my wife, and I catch them in the act, yeah I can put a hurting within reason on them. It is not considered an assault because I am protection my household and the spouse and/or kids are considered a part of that household. Now I could NOT put him in a coma, mutilate him, or kill him JUST because I caught him having sex with my wife.

 

 

Agent99,

 

If you were harassed, be it during or after the affair ended... Consider it the consequences of your own bad choices. Now if he was a real threat to you, you had every right to defend yourself or even call the police. But, are you willing to be honest about why this man was threatening you?

 

MURDER is a sin, not killing someone in defense of self, others, or property is not. Killing someone in times of war, is not a sin. Killing someone according to the laws of the land (and each land has its own laws that it is governed by, so no land is wrong in how they enforce justice in their land) is NOT a sin. We at have the right and need to judge, but we need to be CAUTIOUS in how we judge. For by how we judge someone, we ourselves are thustly jugded. Jesus was NOT talking about what she was being judged for or that she did something wrong, but he was looking at all these accusers who's only claim to right to stone the woman was the fact she was an adulteress. They brought no witnesses nor did they bring the married or other person she was having sex with.

 

There is a lot you need to understand and read about before you start throwing out Bible verses and points of the Bible. Just like people who want to think the laws does not apply to the saved, when it does even MORE so. He never abolished ANY laws, he just took away a lot of the physical formalities that came to setting the laws right when one broke it. They had to go through priests and high priests before God did anything for that person. They had to sacrifice different types of animals depending on they type of sins, etc. Jesus Christ did away with all the formalities. Now we each can go to God through Jesus. No longer do we need to sacrifice animals to atone for our sins, Jesus Christ WAS the ultimate blood sacrifice. No longer are the words and ways of God handed down to a select few, now EVERYONE has access to the blessings and grace.

 

 

DNR

[NoIDidn't]

You guys are really taking this thread off topic. Precious didn't start this thread for it to turn into the attack a poster for his views thread. Mind you, she also didn't start it for her to get attacked for her actions either.

 

We won't agree on everything, so can't we agree to disagree. That's really all this is. We are mostly anonymous on this thread, so I don't think anyone here has to fear for their personal safety because of DNR's OPINION or views.

 

Not to mention, many people share his views. Maybe not here. But somewhere. And that's the point of the forums - to share those views (whether or not everyone agrees with them). Shouldn't knowing that someone might actually hold this view give someone pause about their choices? Isn't it better to know that there are crazies (sorry DNR) on both sides of affairs than to think that its all love and pink roses?

 

This is the situation that Precious is in. Its not a pretty picture. Its scary and unpredictable. But aren't all affairs as we never know how those impacted will react if they get wind of the affair in the first place?

[NoIDidn't]

Did you post this because of what I posted?

 

If so, it doesn't sound like you actually read my post. If so.

 

If not, what set you off? Again.

 

I don't think your views are that far off the norm. Being that you are a marine or former marine explains it even moreso. Very protective. Extremely protective. But one of my old marine boss's once said of marine recruitment "the crazier (a recruit) the better". LOL.

 

Anyway, I didn't see much wrong with your view as you were attacked for it and being forced to defend it.

[Agent_99]

Agent99,

 

If you were harassed, be it during or after the affair ended... Consider it the consequences of your own bad choices. Now if he was a real threat to you, you had every right to defend yourself or even call the police. But, are you willing to be honest about why this man was threatening you?

 

MURDER is a sin, not killing someone in defense of self, others, or property is not. Killing someone in times of war, is not a sin. Killing someone according to the laws of the land (and each land has its own laws that it is governed by, so no land is wrong in how they enforce justice in their land) is NOT a sin. We at have the right and need to judge, but we need to be CAUTIOUS in how we judge. For by how we judge someone, we ourselves are thustly jugded. Jesus was NOT talking about what she was being judged for or that she did something wrong, but he was looking at all these accusers who's only claim to right to stone the woman was the fact she was an adulteress. They brought no witnesses nor did they bring the married or other person she was having sex with.

 

There is a lot you need to understand and read about before you start throwing out Bible verses and points of the Bible. Just like people who want to think the laws does not apply to the saved, when it does even MORE so. He never abolished ANY laws, he just took away a lot of the physical formalities that came to setting the laws right when one broke it. They had to go through priests and high priests before God did anything for that person. They had to sacrifice different types of animals depending on they type of sins, etc. Jesus Christ did away with all the formalities. Now we each can go to God through Jesus. No longer do we need to sacrifice animals to atone for our sins, Jesus Christ WAS the ultimate blood sacrifice. No longer are the words and ways of God handed down to a select few, now EVERYONE has access to the blessings and grace.

 

 

DNR

 

Firstly I do accept that the harrasment was a consequence of the affair. My question to you was about my mother also ending up invoved in the harrasement? As for the police getting involved, I did tell them everything. I have never been good at hiding the affair, and when it came to protecting myself and mom and had absolutly nothing to hide.

 

As for quoting the bible, I was trying to infer the same thing you are saying, but I beleive that we both find different meaning in it. Mine is less harsh. I do not judge you for your thoughts, views and actions, I have no right as I have never been in your shoes, just as you have never been in mine. I guess what I am trying to say is that while there are people who believe the way you do on this subject, there are people who take a more compassionate view. Compassion is not condoning an action, but it is allowing yourself to be open to the possibility that by giving someone your understanding rather than your judgement, you may be in a better position to help a fellow human learn, grow, and become closer to god.

 

~99

[marriedandsad]

I am truly frightened that people like the son in the OP and DNR run around spouting stuff like that. When I was hospitalized, there were MANY people in there for that specific pov and they had indeed carried through and threatened people with a weapon. Trial came and they were admitted for psychiatric evaluation because they showed little to no remorse for their actions or understanding of the law, no matter how many different ways the judge or their lawyer put it. No matter how you feel about something, or you think the law should be something different, you still have to abide by the law. In fact I had to deal with a case in a law course I took (the case had already been settled, the teacher wanted to present the case to us to make us think in class). A man was shot in the back while trying to burgle a home. It was in a state where you are NOT allowed to shoot trespassers. The owner of the home tried to state self defense. We had to pick a side. I chose the burgaler's (I know bad, but it was so damn interesting!). I won the case. Reason, he was shot in the back as he was FLEEING, he posed no threat to the man, the burgaler was attempting to climb back out the window when he was shot. The home owner was found guilty of assault with a deadly weapon. Now I know some states you ARE allowed to shoot a trespasser on your property, I don't live in one of those states thankfully, I would've been shot already when I accidentally cross a property borderline while in the woods.

 

But no matter what, threatening someone with a weapon if the person is not physically harming you, is to me over-kill and shows some sort of imbalance in their reasoning skills. Hell I HATE the woman who was sleeping with my dad while he was married to my mom. He even married the troll. I was forced to get along with her and I detested her with every single ounce of my body. I never once threatened her, even though I had little daydreams of how I would dispose of the body....but that's another story and one of the reasons I am on medications.

 

OP I am SO glad you came clean with the police and hopefully they take action. Who knows, maybe the son has done this before and there are many reports of him being violent and it may cause a case. Either way, you created a trail and that is the most important. And quite frankly, it's between you and God as you put it, and Jesus. Nobody else really has the right to judge you and lay down a punishment (unless adultery is against the law in your state, in which case the wife COULD go after you).

[Final Girl]

No way can that DNR dude be real!! :lmao: His views are a little strange, to say the least.

 

But then I hate aggression, and never see a justification for a man to be aggressive to a woman.

 

The OW isn't always the demon that has been painted. I had an affair with a man who had two children and a girlfriend (he wasn't married) and I loved him very much. But it was ME who told him we had to stop it, and think of the children who were innocent. I also told him I had no right to come into his family like a thief in the night, taking what wasn't mine. I gave more thought to his family and his relationship with his children and GF than HE did!!! I walked away with my heart broken. And i did it for him, his GF and his little girls.

 

So the OW isn't this cat with claws and fangs that some people here might think. The OP certainly doesn't sound like she is!!

[precious1357]

You guys are really taking this thread off topic. Precious didn't start this thread for it to turn into the attack a poster for his views thread. Mind you, she also didn't start it for her to get attacked for her actions either.

 

We won't agree on everything, so can't we agree to disagree. That's really all this is. We are mostly anonymous on this thread, so I don't think anyone here has to fear for their personal safety because of DNR's OPINION or views.

 

Not to mention, many people share his views. Maybe not here. But somewhere. And that's the point of the forums - to share those views (whether or not everyone agrees with them). Shouldn't knowing that someone might actually hold this view give someone pause about their choices? Isn't it better to know that there are crazies (sorry DNR) on both sides of affairs than to think that its all love and pink roses?

 

This is the situation that Precious is in. Its not a pretty picture. Its scary and unpredictable. But aren't all affairs as we never know how those impacted will react if they get wind of the affair in the first place?

 

 

NoIDidn't. thank you so much! You hit in on the head totally! Thank you!

[Dark-N-Romantic]

Should this man done what he done? No.

Is it understood why he did it? Completely.

Does she have a legal leg to stand on? Sure.

Was it a wake up call from God? Absolutely.

Does this make her a bad person? No.

 

We all live and learn. Well for the most part anyway.

 

 

DNR

[bentnotbroken]

Should this man done what he done? No.

Is it understood why he did it? Completely.

Does she have a legal leg to stand on? Sure.

Was it a wake up call from God? Absolutely.

Does this make her a bad person? No.

 

We all live and learn. Well for the most part anyway.

 

 

DNR

 

 

I feel the exact same way.

[NoIDidn't]

s

But no matter what, threatening someone with a weapon if the person is not physically harming you, is to me over-kill and shows some sort of imbalance in their reasoning skills.

 

This is very progressive thinking, but its not realistic or reality in most cases.

 

We forget that humans are animals first. And to animals, psychological pain is very close to physical discomfort. We can react the same to both.

 

He wanted the pain to stop. Not justifying what was done. But he wanted the pain to stop. And, yes, there was definitely something wrong with his reasoning skills. But given the circumstances, he did good in not pulling the trigger. Some people take it much further than he did.

 

I recall reading a paper in my state recently where the spurned OW attempted to murder her xMM AND his W. And she obviously wasn't a bad person because she ran a non-profit of sorts, but she still attempted to kill them. She wanted her pain (and possibly some other feelings) to go away.

 

Some people become homicidal, some suicidal. Human nature.

[marriedandsad]

This is very progressive thinking, but its not realistic or reality in most cases.

 

Please tell me progressive is good, I have yet to finish my first cup of coffee (trying to trick my body that decaf is regular...*sigh*)

 

And you are right humans ARE animals, we prove that every single day when we choose ourselves over what's right, we see it everywhere. And often times the hurt we feel is so intense we will do whatever it takes to make that hurt go away. I was in so much pain after my 3rd miscarriage I couldn't live with myself, so I tried to kill myself. ANYTHING to make the pain or reminder of the event go away.

 

In the hospital one of the counselors was discussing depression and anger and how she can pinpoint the reason people come in almost as soon as she sees them. A depressed person who is extremely depressed seems to walk slower and their shoulders are lowered and you can just see the sadness eminating off them. An angry person who is seriously a danger to others and themselves, they breathe faster, seem to be redder and take faster steps and just seem hot. Anything you say is a personal offense and they get angrier by the moment. The guy in the OP sounds like he might be like this. I don't know, I didn't see him nor do I know him. Or he could normally be a perfectly rational guy, but he just found out about the affair and saw his mother's pain and it threw him off the deep end. Just good signs to look out for. And it's usually best to back away from someone like that and call the police.

[NoIDidn't]

Please tell me progressive is good, I have yet to finish my first cup of coffee (trying to trick my body that decaf is regular...*sigh*)

 

And you are right humans ARE animals, we prove that every single day when we choose ourselves over what's right, we see it everywhere. And often times the hurt we feel is so intense we will do whatever it takes to make that hurt go away. I was in so much pain after my 3rd miscarriage I couldn't live with myself, so I tried to kill myself. ANYTHING to make the pain or reminder of the event go away.

 

In the hospital one of the counselors was discussing depression and anger and how she can pinpoint the reason people come in almost as soon as she sees them. A depressed person who is extremely depressed seems to walk slower and their shoulders are lowered and you can just see the sadness eminating off them. An angry person who is seriously a danger to others and themselves, they breathe faster, seem to be redder and take faster steps and just seem hot. Anything you say is a personal offense and they get angrier by the moment. The guy in the OP sounds like he might be like this. I don't know, I didn't see him nor do I know him. Or he could normally be a perfectly rational guy, but he just found out about the affair and saw his mother's pain and it threw him off the deep end. Just good signs to look out for. And it's usually best to back away from someone like that and call the police.

 

Loved this post!

 

Progressive is mostly good. I meant it in a good way in my post. LOL.

 

Doesn't it suck being a thinking animal? All those primitive responses and then the time to mull over them. Sucks!

 

This guy is probably kicking himself for doing what the OP says. I doubt he's a danger to anyone though. He could have done much worse. Much worse.

[marriedandsad]

Loved this post!

 

Progressive is mostly good. I meant it in a good way in my post. LOL.

 

Doesn't it suck being a thinking animal? All those primitive responses and then the time to mull over them. Sucks!

 

This guy is probably kicking himself for doing what the OP says. I doubt he's a danger to anyone though. He could have done much worse. Much worse.

 

In the hubbub of like and our "advances" we tend to forget we are just another animal. We fear the same things, death, fire...you name it. Something makes us ill and we avoid it in the future. Heck for YEARS I avoided peanut butter because once in kindergarten it didn't taste right to me. I didn't eat anything with peanuts until I was 22.

 

Now when it comes to emotional turmoil, I don't know if we are more advanced or more dangerous. In the wild some animals fight for the female(s) and if they lose they try again the following year. Or you can be like a Tom (Turkey) and be a horny bastard and get shot. That is a running joke between my husband and me. I asked him how they called the Tom's while out hunting. He showed me a turkey call. I asked him why on earth an animal would leave his 15 females for ONE. He said, "Because she might be the best of them all". He gets rewarded with death. The females....they find another Tom. Then there are some animals who mate for life, and when their mate dies, often times they do as well. It's very sad, and some humans hold that quality...others...well...They're a Tom.

[signedin2008]

Precious, are you lying to us when you told us that you've never slept with this MM?

[marriedandsad]

Precious, are you lying to us when you told us that you've never slept with this MM?

 

Does it matter if she did or not? Emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical affairs. Apparently one way or another she was having an inappropriate relationship with a married man and the son/bs found out. Doesn't matter if they just spend days talking and cuddling, it STILL hurts the other spouse.

[Brimstone_Angel]

Some things are worth speaking on and some things aren't. What happened is just and the price one pays for hurting others. Hopefully she will learn from this and move forward. She claims she is a believer in God, she knows this was God's way of stopping her and showing her how wrong she is.

 

Peace be with you.