I can't believe it!

[Mino]

Then you my friend found the wrong board. Check the title before you make such inflammatory remarks. And we don't know the situation with the MM and his Wife. For all we know she's an abusive wench. It's quite the interesting assumption you are making there.

 

 

Oh and to the other poster about me getting blasted.....ROFL!!!!

sweetie, those were ur words and fears... not mine...

[Lizzie60]

My question: Have you actually see the gun? maybe he was just trying to scare you off..

 

If he's trying to get in your way next time.. call the police.. he's got no business trying to tell you or his dad what to do.. what a jerk!

 

Get a bazooka!

[marriedandsad]

sweetie, those were ur words and fears... not mine...

 

LOL! I know! I totally didn't even see what I had said in comparison to the topic....totally random!

[Mino]

LOL! I know! I totally didn't even see what I had said in comparison to the topic....totally random!

lol:laugh:

[OWoman]

Well, let me tell you all just how awful it really is! First, this relationship has been going on about 2.5 yrs. I'm over 50 and he's over 60, he has been married for 42 years. The child is 40 years old, who showed me the gun while telling me what an awful person I was and that I was not going to heaven and how i have caused havoc in the mother's home. So, after all of that being i felt and still feel terrible, crying most of the day (yet working)...its was the most brutal and awful experience of my life. I told MM and he was devastated to know that happened and was without words. decided it was not worth it..

 

If someone threatens me with a gun, I kill them in self-defense to neutralise the threat. Simple. Legal. Final. Well, yes, there's a lot of paperwork, but a grown man threatening a woman with a gun is not going to get much sympathy from the legal system. This "child" is a fool who deserves a Darwin award for his stupidit - you owe it to the continued existence of the human race to remove his genes from the gene pool.

 

Since it's now too late to do that, your best bet is to get the cops to do that for you - file a report and have him locked away. or, if he really is that big a cheese, go to the press. His reputation might be a bigger weapon in your hands than that metal phallus in his.

[precious1357]

what do you mean he "showed you the gun"? Did he like flap open his trenchcoat and showed it was there on his hip? OR did he point it at you?

 

I hear all of you and I'm just out of the picture. The 40 yr old flapped back his jacket and showed it in his holster. He has a license for it, the mother inflamed him and he hates me and I'm settled with it. I feel guilty and bad enough for everything I've done and now want to take time and move on. To the person who commented about the MM not doing anything, your right...thanks to all...

[precious1357]

If someone threatens me with a gun, I kill them in self-defense to neutralise the threat. Simple. Legal. Final. Well, yes, there's a lot of paperwork, but a grown man threatening a woman with a gun is not going to get much sympathy from the legal system. This "child" is a fool who deserves a Darwin award for his stupidit - you owe it to the continued existence of the human race to remove his genes from the gene pool.

 

Since it's now too late to do that, your best bet is to get the cops to do that for you - file a report and have him locked away. or, if he really is that big a cheese, go to the press. His reputation might be a bigger weapon in your hands than that metal phallus in his.

 

His brother is a cop and I'm staying away....plus the person who showed me the gun is a school principal too with 2 sons of his own....

[precious1357]

This will only work and make sense IF she completely ends it with the MM. If she plans on carrying on the A, and the MM does nothing to talk to his son about this, then things WILL get worse.

 

MM needs to step up and decide WHO he wants, enough of having two women meeting all his needs because he's too afraid to change his life around.

 

I agree with this too but the family is powerful.

[stampdaddy]

I hear all of you and I'm just out of the picture. The 40 yr old flapped back his jacket and showed it in his holster. He has a license for it, the mother inflamed him and he hates me and I'm settled with it. I feel guilty and bad enough for everything I've done and now want to take time and move on. To the person who commented about the MM not doing anything, your right...thanks to all...

 

Well, hang in there.. sometimes when things get this far (or half this far) it's just time to try something different.. You can do it... Just don't stay here and get yo self kilt...

 

Chin up!!

[whichwayisup]

I still think you need to call the police and also get a lawyer. Tell your closest friends what's going on, and if possible, your neighbours (with little detail about your situation if you don't want to tell all) so they know what this guy looks like incase he comes to your house.

 

His family is powerful? Well, all the more reason to go public as someone else already mentioned this - IF he threatens you again, do it! Call 911!

[precious1357]

Well, hang in there.. sometimes when things get this far (or half this far) it's just time to try something different.. You can do it... Just don't stay here and get yo self kilt...

 

Chin up!!

 

 

Thanks! You know I cared and loved someone for more than years straight and we actually had fun, talking everyday and I mean everyday. It was a good time, a blend of serious every day issues and great great laughs. To end it like this is a tragedy. MM is distraught over his son's actions and I think he's really really mad because when he gets upset he becomes very quiet...but I'm moving on little by little and day by day, praying for forgiveness. Thanks for being nice stampdaddy, some people are very very cruel.

[jj33]

A school principal and a cop? I think you need to go see a lawyer. And perhaps the press if you think that the police wont do anything.

 

What does MM have to say about this besides being "distraught"?

 

Honey a school principal can send your kids to detention but he cant bend the rules with the police. Will MM back you up if you go to the police and tell his brother to make sure you are OK?

 

if he WONT put a word in with his brother then you must NEVER EVER speak to him again. If you have to fear his family and he wont even put it to rights by telling HIS brother to make sure you are protected,

 

then what is he worth? What kind of man would allow you to pay for his mistakes by living in fear of bodily harm or death or police harrassment?

[stampdaddy]

Thanks! You know I cared and loved someone for more than years straight and we actually had fun, talking everyday and I mean everyday. It was a good time, a blend of serious every day issues and great great laughs. To end it like this is a tragedy. MM is distraught over his son's actions and I think he's really really mad because when he gets upset he becomes very quiet...but I'm moving on little by little and day by day, praying for forgiveness. Thanks for being nice stampdaddy, some people are very very cruel.

 

well, you are welcome, just take care of YOURSELF.. My 4 year day-to-day relationship ended recently on a dime as well.. (nobody pointed a gun at me, but I felt as though I had been shot). I do realize that my MW has alot to deal with, and I can basically try to just take care of MYSELF, just like you need to do. Your MM has ALOT to deal with, so be honorable to you both and keep mocing forward in your life...

[OWoman]

His brother is a cop and I'm staying away....plus the person who showed me the gun is a school principal too with 2 sons of his own....

 

He's a school principal and he's going around threatening armed violence? I think the school board needs to know what kind of person they've entrusted their kids to! I'd go to the education authorities, preferably after you've laid a complaint with the police (go to another police station in another district if you're worried about undue influence from his family) so that it's on record and not an untested allegation. This guy is way out of line. As a person in a responsible position, he ought to have more perspective than that! What would he say if every kid at his school resolved their unhappiness tthe way he has?

 

Precious, this is completely unacceptable! That man belongs behind bars. His violence should have no bearing on your R with his father.

[silent angel]

Please, please do not listen to those who say you have brought this on yourself. We cannot help who we love and it is he who cheated on his family, not you. Who's to say if it hadn't been you it wouldn't have been someone else.

 

Please go to the police or at least a lawyer, you do not deserve this. The only one who deserves anything (and I think death is a little extreme for falling in love) is him. And the person making the threats.

[jj33]

Excellent advice OWoman. Precious please let us know that you have taken some steps to protect yourself. This is very serious.

 

And the fact that you seem to be afraid to protect yourself because of his family is even scarier.

[bentnotbroken]

I hear all of you and I'm just out of the picture. The 40 yr old flapped back his jacket and showed it in his holster. He has a license for it, the mother inflamed him and he hates me and I'm settled with it. I feel guilty and bad enough for everything I've done and now want to take time and move on. To the person who commented about the MM not doing anything, your right...thanks to all...

 

 

A 40 year old doesn't need a mother to inflame him. If he sees his mother hurting at the hands of a man who(for all you and we really know)may have abused his mother in some other way besides the affair. I don't think he should have been so stupid, but let's not put the blame on mom. I think all parties......you, MM,maybe mom and son bear an equal amount of responsibility for his anger. Go to the police and leave the family alone, it seems as if this might end in blood shed for someone. Pesonally, I think he should see his father and think about removing the roaming appendage.

[precious1357]

A 40 year old doesn't need a mother to inflame him. If he sees his mother hurting at the hands of a man who(for all you and we really know)may have abused his mother in some other way besides the affair. I don't think he should have been so stupid, but let's not put the blame on mom. I think all parties......you, MM,maybe mom and son bear an equal amount of responsibility for his anger. Go to the police and leave the family alone, it seems as if this might end in blood shed for someone. Pesonally, I think he should see his father and think about removing the roaming appendage.

Thanks again everyone! I'm going to stay away from the place where we all see one another (religious bldg.) That's the only time I run into the other members of the family. The gun was shown to me in the hallway, in the house of the Lord! Can you believe it? The more I think about the worse it gets BUT I'm going to stay away and keep to myself (I do that anyway) but the less he sees of me the better. After it all happened, I didn't let him see me cry but I went to my friend's house and I told her. I returned to church because I had major obligations and started crying. But I HAD TO complete my responsibility. He was sitting in a position where he stared at me...he was real crazy....but I am reaping my punishment...and I have to deal with it....

[Reggie]

Oh come on. You dont know what happened. To have someone threaten to kill you if its more than the mere words of a child is never excusable.

 

These days there are too many teenagers perfectly capable of carrying out that threat. And no she did not bring it on herself. Shes not the married one. If he wants to kill anyone it should be his father for cheating on his mother.

 

Understandable that the anger would be misplaced but if the threat is real it doesnt make it any less frightening or unacceptable.

 

I do not condone violence and hope you stay safe. That said, the notion that she played no role in causing the chil'd anger is so wrong. Clearly she was a co-conspirator in a scenario destined to hurt the kids and wife. Anger at the MM and the OW are not mutually exclusive.

[stampdaddy]

I do not condone violence and hope you stay safe. That said, the notion that she played no role in causing the chil'd anger is so wrong. Clearly she was a co-conspirator in a scenario destined to hurt the kids and wife. Anger at the MM and the OW are not mutually exclusive.

 

again, "kid" is a 40 year old man...

[marriedandsad]

He's a school principal and he's going around threatening armed violence? I think the school board needs to know what kind of person they've entrusted their kids to! I'd go to the education authorities, preferably after you've laid a complaint with the police (go to another police station in another district if you're worried about undue influence from his family) so that it's on record and not an untested allegation. This guy is way out of line. As a person in a responsible position, he ought to have more perspective than that! What would he say if every kid at his school resolved their unhappiness tthe way he has?

 

Precious, this is completely unacceptable! That man belongs behind bars. His violence should have no bearing on your R with his father.

 

Be careful on going to another district police force. When the woman who thought I was sleeping with her husband called me, from NC, I called down there and they told me there was nothing they could do since the crime was being committed up here. I had to call my police department up here, who then told me I had to call down there....I went back and forth and finally broke down into tears and the ones up here called the woman, told her to stop harassing me, and then contacted the police down there and informed them it IS in THEIR jurisdiction and if I called down there again to complain, they were to do something about it. What else was officer up here supposed to do? Fly down there and cuff her?

 

And I don't think any of us said that the OP was blameless, we said she had partial blame in all this, that her and her MM shared 50/50 percent of the blame for hurting the family, but the son's reaction is over the top.

[bentnotbroken]

Thanks again everyone! I'm going to stay away from the place where we all see one another (religious bldg.) That's the only time I run into the other members of the family. The gun was shown to me in the hallway, in the house of the Lord! Can you believe it? The more I think about the worse it gets BUT I'm going to stay away and keep to myself (I do that anyway) but the less he sees of me the better. After it all happened, I didn't let him see me cry but I went to my friend's house and I told her. I returned to church because I had major obligations and started crying. But I HAD TO complete my responsibility. He was sitting in a position where he stared at me...he was real crazy....but I am reaping my punishment...and I have to deal with it....

 

You are reaping the consequences of your actions as we all will, with that said, he is legally, morally and ethically wrong also. I understand his anger, but I don't condone him threatening a woman(or anyone other than his poor excuse for a father.) I would suspect that this guy has seen his dad mistreat his mom for a number of years and has finally reached a breaking point. He needs to seek counseling, because his anger won't remain in the context it was created. It will spill over into other avenues of his life, like his job as a principal. I wouldn' want my child under his authority.

 

You deal with God and only God. He will deal justily, but steer clear of this person as best you can.

[Dexter Morgan]

Well, its over...yesterday child of MM threatened to kill me...I can't take any more. It was truly awful

 

I can understand the son's anger and resentment, but that was just over the top.

 

I could understand him giving you a tongue lashing, but threatening to kill you? He has his own set of problems. What about turning him in for threatening to kill you? Might do something to his "status" in the community.

[bentnotbroken]

again, "kid" is a 40 year old man...

 

 

Stamp, he is a grown man. But who is still a child who is watching his mom hurt. We don't know how long he has watched this. Maybe years. And if he has never been taught effective ways to deal with it, it will build up until it explodes(personal experience). Sometimes in the most tragic ways. I had to find help for my children, especially my oldest because he has seen the most. I didn't want him to carry that baggage into his own relationships.

 

Mom has to be a strong person(not always possible)to look beyond her pain and see her children's pain. Maybe she has leaned on him(especially if he is the oldest)through years of problems. That is a huge burden to put on a child, but it does happen unfortunately. We don't mean for it to happen, but sometimes you will lean on anyone for support rather than face the pain that is in your life.

 

He is a forty year old man that should take responsibility for his actions. He should be thinking like a rational adult. But if that behaviour has never been modeled for him(in times of crisis) the true person will come out. In this case a hurt, pissed off child. Who isn't thinking clearly. He needs counseling and I suspect that his father could do a lot more to facilitate healing of this man. He could take responsibility for his actions and then get help, modeling the appropriate behaviour of a responsible adult, which he has yet to do.

[stampdaddy]

Stamp, he is a grown man. But who is still a child who is watching his mom hurt. We don't know how long he has watched this. Maybe years. And if he has never been taught effective ways to deal with it, it will build up until it explodes(personal experience). Sometimes in the most tragic ways. I had to find help for my children, especially my oldest because he has seen the most. I didn't want him to carry that baggage into his own relationships.

 

Mom has to be a strong person(not always possible)to look beyond her pain and see her children's pain. Maybe she has leaned on him(especially if he is the oldest)through years of problems. That is a huge burden to put on a child, but it does happen unfortunately. We don't mean for it to happen, but sometimes you will lean on anyone for support rather than face the pain that is in your life.

 

He is a forty year old man that should take responsibility for his actions. He should be thinking like a rational adult. But if that behaviour has never been modeled for him(in times of crisis) the true person will come out. In this case a hurt, pissed off child. Who isn't thinking clearly. He needs counseling and I suspect that his father could do a lot more to facilitate healing of this man. He could take responsibility for his actions and then get help, modeling the appropriate behaviour of a responsible adult, which he has yet to do.

 

Um... I am a 41 year old man, and if I found out that my father had been having a multi year affair with some hussie (no offence here OP, just for dramatic effect) while I would be pissed and hurt for my mother, my brothers and my entire family, the SOLE person I would be looking at is MY FATHER!! He obviously is older than me and very capapble of making decisions that would affect alot of people. The "lady in his life" wouldnt even cross my mind as "the problem".. My father would be the lying cheat that decided to dip his wick for his own pleasure and at the expense of others, UNLESS she was the one who pulled out the gun and held it to his head.....