bentnotbroken Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Um... I am a 41 year old man, and if I found out that my father had been having a multi year affair with some hussie (no offence here OP, just for dramatic effect) while I would be pissed and hurt for my mother, my brothers and my entire family, the SOLE person I would be looking at is MY FATHER!! He obviously is older than me and very capapble of making decisions that would affect alot of people. The "lady in his life" wouldnt even cross my mind as "the problem".. My father would be the lying cheat that decided to dip his wick for his own pleasure and at the expense of others, UNLESS she was the one who pulled out the gun and held it to his head..... But just because you had a the upbringing that allowed you to process things differently, doesn't mean everyone was raised that way. I agree that he is wrong, but know that he is disturbed. Link to post Share on other sites
stampdaddy Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 But just because you had a the upbringing that allowed you to process things differently, doesn't mean everyone was raised that way. I agree that he is wrong, but know that he is disturbed. Me too, so she should call the Po Po's Link to post Share on other sites
KismetGirl Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Well, let me tell you all just how awful it really is! First, this relationship has been going on about 2.5 yrs. I'm over 50 and he's over 60, he has been married for 42 years. The child is 40 years old, who showed me the gun while telling me what an awful person I was and that I was not going to heaven and how i have caused havoc in the mother's home. So, after all of that being i felt and still feel terrible, crying most of the day (yet working)...its was the most brutal and awful experience of my life. I told MM and he was devastated to know that happened and was without words. decided it was not worth it.. HE SHOWED YOU A GUN!!????? Go to the police IMMEDIATELY and file a report that you were threatened. This isn't just mere words, the person actually brandished a weapon in your face. Who's to say the guy doesn't just snap one day and in a fit of anger the gun goes off accidentally? That is bulls**t. Tell the MM to get a hold of his children, and tell the police that your life was legitimately threatened by someone brandishing a weapon at you. This is illegal. i don't care if you f**ked his father for the past 20 years, it isn't his business , and certainly not his right to put a gun in your face. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 But just because you had a the upbringing that allowed you to process things differently, doesn't mean everyone was raised that way. I agree that he is wrong, but know that he is disturbed. That disturbed man is in a position of responsibility ovver other people's children. If he doesn't have the moral fibre to separate his personal unhappiness from how he deals with other people, he shouldn't be in the position he's in. He should be in a rubber room. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Please, please do not listen to those who say you have brought this on yourself. We cannot help who we love and it is he who cheated on his family, not you. Who's to say if it hadn't been you it wouldn't have been someone else. Please go to the police or at least a lawyer, you do not deserve this. The only one who deserves anything (and I think death is a little extreme for falling in love) is him. And the person making the threats. Sigh. Yes you can help who you love. When you know someone is married you put boundaries in place and don't allow a relationship in. Precious is one of the worst. This is the ow who is a church friend of the wife. Sees husband and wife together all the time and knows of all their vacations and what not. She was sincerely a side piece. Sorry precious but you've basically admitted this in your posts. You know he has no intention of ever leaving his wife. The son was way out of line but I wonder if the mm put him up to it to get out of this mess. I've had the feeling for a while this man felt trapped with you and didn't know what to do. I don't remember does the wife know? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 That disturbed man is in a position of responsibility ovver other people's children. If he doesn't have the moral fibre to separate his personal unhappiness from how he deals with other people, he shouldn't be in the position he's in. He should be in a rubber room. I agree. As I said in a previous post, I wouldn't want him in authority over my child. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Sigh. Yes you can help who you love. When you know someone is married you put boundaries in place and don't allow a relationship in. Precious is one of the worst. This is the ow who is a church friend of the wife. Sees husband and wife together all the time and knows of all their vacations and what not. She was sincerely a side piece. Sorry precious but you've basically admitted this in your posts. You know he has no intention of ever leaving his wife. The son was way out of line but I wonder if the mm put him up to it to get out of this mess. I've had the feeling for a while this man felt trapped with you and didn't know what to do. I don't remember does the wife know? If your theory is true and he did but his son up to this(directly or indirectly) he is a bigger steaming pile of doggy doo than I first thought. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 If your theory is true and he did but his son up to this(directly or indirectly) he is a bigger steaming pile of doggy doo than I first thought. Oh totally agree. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Oh totally agree. Where's the pooper scooper? Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 The son knows she's not going to the police. She can't without opening a BIG can of worms. It's also her word against his. It is doubtful that he would risk his position and harm her. Obviously, he knows he can't change his father. I can certainly see his anger though over the betrayal of his mother by her "friend". Everyone here has backed themselves into a corner. She can't go to the police without the congregation learning of her actions. Son can't bring the A to light without hurting his mom and dragging the family through the mud. Everyones hands are tied. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Agreed...but the OP can help defuse the situation by ending the affair, as she's outlined she's going to do. This is a lousy situation for everyone involved. I feel for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I know everyone has their own perspective but am appalled that someone was threatened by a man with a gun and people seem eager to blame precious. Isnt that the point of the laws? You cant threaten someone even if they did something that made you mad or upset you. Dont take that on board Precious. What you did or didnt do or should have done personally is one thing but you did nothing to justify the son's behaviour. So far as we know you werent threatening him with bodily harm. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I know everyone has their own perspective but am appalled that someone was threatened by a man with a gun and people seem eager to blame precious. Isnt that the point of the laws? You cant threaten someone even if they did something that made you mad or upset you. Dont take that on board Precious. What you did or didnt do or should have done personally is one thing but you did nothing to justify the son's behaviour. So far as we know you werent threatening him with bodily harm. Crimes are comnitted every single day because of affairs of the heart. Emotions are VERY high when you are so deceived and a family is being torn apart. Please this is nothing new. Every other woman should know when they choose to play with a married man that they are playing with fire. Not everyone is entirely sane and if you are teetering on the edge this can push you off. How many cases of murder can you think of because of affairs? Quite a few. It is not a good idea to play with fire. You will get burnt. She needs to learn this lesson now and move on. What the son did was atrocious and i said that but precious needs to see how her behavior contributed to it. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I know everyone has their own perspective but am appalled that someone was threatened by a man with a gun and people seem eager to blame precious. Because precious brought this upon herself. No A and I seriously doubt precious is looking at an angry son with a gun. His mother's pain and suffering is what precipitated this. Pain and suffering caused, in part, by precious. So, yes...she is partly to blame for creating the circumstance. The son is wrong. The son needs to be reported to the police. In no way, shape or form am I defending the son. His choice, fueled by passionate anger, is wrong. No doubt about it. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I don't think anyone stated the son was right. What was said was they can see him going overboard with the gun. But it isn't against the law to threaten(just with a weapon). He should be reported. But Precious, the MM and maybe even the wife played a part in this drama and they are responsible for the consequences of those actions. Whether we like it or not, the actions of the son are wrong as are the actions by precious. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I have to agree that if someone threatened my life with a gun, I would want there to be a record of that threat. If the police knew about the threat, the son would know that if anything happens to you, he would be charged. However if you do report him, don't be appalled when he denies it. OW and MM lie and deny their actions on a daily basis even when asked for the truth point blank. I wouldn't doubt that the son feels that he doesn't owe you honesty because of the part you played in deceiving his mother. All is fair in love and war as they say, so don't put any responsibility on the son to tell the truth if you aren't ready to be completely honest yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I have to agree that if someone threatened my life with a gun, I would want there to be a record of that threat. If the police knew about the threat, the son would know that if anything happens to you, he would be charged. However if you do report him, don't be appalled when he denies it. OW and MM lie and deny their actions on a daily basis even when asked for the truth point blank. I wouldn't doubt that the son feels that he doesn't owe you honesty because of the part you played in deceiving his mother. All is fair in love and war as they say, so don't put any responsibility on the son to tell the truth if you aren't ready to be completely honest yourself. I don't see precious reporting this. To report it she would have to put her reputation on the line and admit to screwing around with her 65 year old church friend's husband. I just don't see her doing that. After the cop sputters trying not to laugh at this little tangled web of the man with the two little old church ladies he may act like he's going to do something and then he won't. Then he'll tell everyone of the little old lady who came in to report she's being threatened for sleeping with a man who has been married for OVER 40 years. The cops will have a blast with this. Run precious run. You can't win here. I think you should move or change church's before the gossip starts. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I'm not sure that she will be believed. The son is respected in the community. To report it she also has to admit to her unethical behavior, which leaves her report questionable. The only way I would report this in her position is to have proof. Get the son on tape talking about what transpired. It is illegal to threaten someones life. That fact is moot. I would say that it is wrong to have an affair, but others believe it can be justified. I would say it is wrong to threaten another's life, but you can bet that the son feels justified. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I'm not sure that she will be believed. The son is respected in the community. To report it she also has to admit to her unethical behavior, which leaves her report questionable. The only way I would report this in her position is to have proof. Get the son on tape talking about what transpired. It is illegal to threaten someones life. That fact is moot. I would say that it is wrong to have an affair, but others believe it can be justified. I would say it is wrong to threaten another's life, but you can bet that the son feels justified. Yes indeed, justification makes things right in the mind of a person who lacks the ability to take personal responsibility. But, you can't ask someone to take responsibility for their actions if you aren't ready to take it for yours. Wouldn't it be great if everyone in this situation could just sit down and be truthful with each other? Guessing that isn't going to happen, all I can do is hope that no further harm comes to all involved. Link to post Share on other sites
dannydrifter Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Well, let me tell you all just how awful it really is! First, this relationship has been going on about 2.5 yrs. I'm over 50 and he's over 60, he has been married for 42 years. The child is 40 years old, who showed me the gun while telling me what an awful person I was and that I was not going to heaven and how i have caused havoc in the mother's home. So, after all of that being i felt and still feel terrible, crying most of the day (yet working)...its was the most brutal and awful experience of my life. I told MM and he was devastated to know that happened and was without words. decided it was not worth it.. You're right, it's not worth it. It's too bad you didn't have the wisdom to see that from the beginning of the affair. What the child did is definitely not right and it's horrible you had to go through it. You'll be ok, just move on and find a man who is not married. I don't know what else to say. Link to post Share on other sites
GPFan Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 The father may have portrayed OP as a predator to his grown son to spark such an extreme reaction. The son sounds like a take charge personality who feels he is protecting his mother and father. What a mess! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Greengoddess has already said what I was going to post on this page (5) but I did want to put it in my own words. Do I condone a son threatening the woman that he views as no more than his father's *****? No. I don't. Do I blame the mother for her son's actions? Absolutely not! Do I blame Precious for this situation? Not really, but her actions didn't exactly help. If there was no A, there wouldn't have been a reason for this unfortunate event. Now, on to telling the police. It would be a good idea to call the police, but she has a few huge problems to consider: another son is an officer, the police will not consider her credible as she is already in an illicit A with the father of the perp. The police will likely take the info all the while thinking that precious is delusional and making it up. Remember the occupation that reportedly cheats the most? Cops. Basically, I just think the "po-po" will not take this seriously. But if precious does want to report it, she should leave off the part where she blames the man's wife for inciting the adult son to that level of anger. That will get her info put into the circular file for shizzle. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 again, "kid" is a 40 year old man... Age is not really a factor. Engaging in an affair hurts his mom.Precious knows this and does not care. Any offspring would be pissed. Guy's nuts, though to threaten. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Age is not really a factor. Engaging in an affair hurts his mom.Precious knows this and does not care. Any offspring would be pissed. Guy's nuts, though to threaten. I was going to post something about that too. Its semantics. To your parents, we will always be one of their kids. It doesn't mean that we are children. An adult child is a very valid way to look at even this 40 year old gentleman. We are talking about the MM's children, adult or otherwise. What else could we call them that doesn't start to sound just a little bit ridiculous? It wouldn't change the fact that MM is his father, right? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 The problem here is too, we have NO idea if the MM has thrown P under the bus. She isn't around for their conversations and for all we know, this MM could be saying "it's over, she won't leave me alone..She's the one pursuing me.." Maybe that's why MM hasn't really said too much, though I'm sure he's upset by his sons stupid actions with the gun. Link to post Share on other sites
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