BlueHarvest Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Damnit all to hell. I have a date tonight with a 20-something cute girl who for all practical purposes I should be fawning over completely. And while I do think of her I CANNOT for the life of me stop thinking about the 30 year old, MW of whom I've been having issues with recently. Every time I think about the young girl I end up finding my thoughts wandering back to the MW who is in the middle of divorcing her husband. I shouldn't be thinking about her...I should be focusing solely on the other girl. So why am I doing this? Whyyyy.... Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Maybe it's a case of wanting what you can't have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueHarvest Posted October 28, 2008 Author Share Posted October 28, 2008 As much as I wish it was it's more complicated then that. I don't have the energy to explain the entire situation but if you wish to delve further just search for all my previous posts. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Well, it's good you're out dating, but in reality, you're not ready to open your heart or get involved with anyone right now. That's the truth of it. So, instead of dating, get busy! Join a gym, workout like crazy, or do a sport that you love (hockey, basketball, squash) to keep you distracted. Be with friends and family who do care about you. Go back and re-read your threads, look at all the red flags about this MW. As we've ALL told you, even if she does divorce, she'll end up cheating on you because she NEEDS attention from many men, she can't do with just one as it's not enough for her. She's no real prize...Though you can't see that because your feelings for her are strong so you can't see or process what we all see. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Well, it's good you're out dating, but in reality, you're not ready to open your heart or get involved with anyone right now. That's the truth of it. So, instead of dating, get busy! Join a gym, workout like crazy, or do a sport that you love (hockey, basketball, squash) to keep you distracted. Be with friends and family who do care about you. Go back and re-read your threads, look at all the red flags about this MW. As we've ALL told you, even if she does divorce, she'll end up cheating on you because she NEEDS attention from many men, she can't do with just one as it's not enough for her. She's no real prize...Though you can't see that because your feelings for her are strong so you can't see or process what we all see. Great advice. You're not ready to start a new relationship, because honestly you haven't even started grieving the end of the last one. You've not even really ended it yet. So its hardly a suprise when you're not ready to fawn all over someone else yet. Instead of looking for a replacement for MW...look for someTHING that fills your time and energy that you'd otherwise be spending on her. Excersise, martial arts, running...picking up an old hobby again, starting a new one...all kinds of ways to productively burn that energy and time off. And let yourself cry over the end of the "might have been". See where you're at in a few weeks after getting busy with all of this...see if you're ready THEN for someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueHarvest Posted October 28, 2008 Author Share Posted October 28, 2008 I understand what your saying. And I have started doing some other things, like the jogging, the going out with (other) friends more. I don't really feel any special connection with this new girl. We had the same interest in movies and I just took a leap and she responded. I should be thrilled but instead I feel apathetic. I'm just hoping there might be a spark there. After all, a part of me thinks that this whole situation with the MW is just infatuation. If I had someone else who made me feel that good and actually responded and gave those same feelings back then who knows what could happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 After all, a part of me thinks that this whole situation with the MW is just infatuation. If I had someone else who made me feel that good and actually responded and gave those same feelings back then who knows what could happen. Exactly. But what you described does NOT describe your situation with MW at all. It IS just an infatuation. And when you stop feeding that infatuation, it'll die off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueHarvest Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 Yea. I got a book at Barns & Noble yesterday. Called "10 stupid things men do to ruin their lives" First topic in the book was Stupid Chivalry...really hit a note with me. Link to post Share on other sites
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