Boyfriends sister meddles in our relationship.

[Idalady2u]

I need help dealing with this, or at least some sort of confirmation my feelings are valid. I live with my boyfriend, and have for almost 2 yrs. now. He has several siblings, one of which had a marriage break up this past summer, and moved back here from Seattle area. She brought with her, her new boyfriend. Both of them live with my boyfriends parents. When they got here, they spent a lot of time at our place. So much so, that the landlord thought they had moved in here, and wanted to up our rent. They backed off at that point. Not to long after, my daughter, son in law, and grandson came to stay with us a little bit. My boyfriend did not like this and their were problems. One major one, is that he smokes pot, and I nor my kids do. His sister's new boyfriend does, and that is why they come over so much. The sis n boyfriend got into a fight with my daughter, and called her names, and made threats. My daughter and her family left to stay with friends. I felt very disrespected because the sis and her boyfriend basically try to get my boyfriend to side with them, and have them come first. And it is because of the pot issue. I cannot stand the sis's boyfriend. He puts down everyone's elses opinions about things. He only wants to watch movies he likes when he comes over. And he gets on my computer without asking. He has also changed settings and unplugged things without asking. He does not like me either, because I express my own opinion, and I expect my boyfriend to compromise on things, so we can both have mutual respect. Anyway, my boyfriend and I have been fighting since they arrived this summer. I often get upset because my boyfriend is on workers comp for an injury 2 yrs ago. He only plays video games and talks on the phone. Mostly to his sister. I have to yell at him to get him to help around the house. Not only that, but we do what he wants to do. Watch the movies he wants to watch. Go where he wants to go. I have finally started standing up for myself, and we get into huge fights about it. He has made an effort though, to be more helpful, because he says he loves me. I have made several ultimatums of leaving him. Well the last big fight we had, I got soo upset that I threw a cup o noodles across the room, and packed my things and walked away. His sis and boyfriend came over. Apparently his sis's boyfriend made a comment about taking a knife and cutting me, because I'm such a biotch. My boyfriend did not mention this for a couple of weeks after we made up. I learned during a conversation he had on the phone with his mother. I told him, I do not want this man at my house anymore, and that that is a threat to me, and disrespectul in my own home. I told him I feel like my feelings and wishes some last to his family and someone who threatens me. My self esteem is really low now, and I don't know what to do about this fractured relationship with his sis. What does anyone think? Am I wrong to be upset about these things?

[2sure]

No, you are not wrong. In fact, if I were you I would be buying cases of Cup-O-Noodles.

 

But seriously. He is unemployed, not going to school, and hobby-less. Unless you count sitting around all day smoking pot and playing video games. What exactly are you expecting from this guy??

 

This is who he is. This is what he does. He is not going to treat you any better because from looking at his family, he doesnt know any better. If you do know better, and you dont like this lifestyle, make a change.

[Idalady2u]

Thanks for the reply. I appreciate the advise.