Author mishy Posted November 11, 2008 Author Share Posted November 11, 2008 I guess it looks like a double standard because he says he wants nothing more than FWB and you want more, yet settle (or had been settling) for less. ! Yeah and that exactly the reason he would have no respect, and why he wouldnt view me as worthy of girlfriend material. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 My intention was not to be mean so I do hope you do not take it that way. It is just that men tend to say exactly what they mean and women try to read things into their actions or words -- things that really are not there. It can be a hard lesson to learn but it is much harder and more painful if the lesson is never learned. Men are just different than women in a lot of respects. To a woman sex usually creates intimacy. To a man it can be just an action. this is very interesting. How men and women react to sex. It is kinda sad too. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Ok, then as long as you know that both of you aren't leaving town, start now. After one week, perhaps 10 days-2 wks max, he will contact you. DO NOT respond. After a couple days, he'll try again. You can string this guy along as long as you like. But I feel weird giving you this advice, because I hate to see you in a situation where YOUR emotions are involved, and apparently not his. If a few weeks go by, and he keeps contacting you... perhaps tell him via text that the only correspondence you will respond to from him will be an invitation for a date. At this point, he will make his decision, but perhaps not immediately. He'll probably be irritated momentarily, but he will respect you for taking a stand. He doesn't see you currently as a woman with any self respect or real emotional needs. At the point you lay down the law, he will see you in a new light... but ONLY if you stick to your guns. You cannot cave. He'll think some more, realizing that you are not the same girl... and either he will be intrigued and ask you out, or he will cling to whatever insecurities he has currently and will dissapear. Because at the root of this is not only your problem, but his fear of a real relationship after his divorce. The dysfunction is just as much his as yours in this arrangement. Perhaps this approach will hit him over the head with this realization. But you won't know until you stick to it and follow through. Charles, this is some serious wisdom you are kicking to the LS family right now. I think you just saved me some drama cause I was feeling a little thrown off today because I have let myself go down the path of Sex w/out relationship from my ex boyfriend. I am just like everyone else who really do not want to let go but think having sex and staying friends will eventually bring him back to you. I knew I need to explore this fwb thing cause it is not my normal way of dealing with a man but since I love this guy...I have tried it for the first time in 3 yrs. I see what I am gettng myself into and what I need to do differently to keep from getting hurt basically. Thanks for the insight....You are HOT!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 The answer to your question is : It NEVER works where you sleep for fun and then later he wants something serious.... The big JOB is to figure out why you let this guy sleep with you over and over and expected nothing more for yourself. Its a long road to get out of FWB. The best thing you did was post here. Remember NC and move on. Everytime he calls you that jerks your chain. You can't think straight with someone jerking your chain. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Heh, is this the same guy from last year mishy. Ha ha ha. You're awesome. I'd say ditch him now. Too much drama too little substance. Hopefully it worked out for ya. Link to post Share on other sites
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