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His father is somewhat anti-social and does not like his son to have any friends


SueAnne

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I've been together with this guy for about 2 years and throughout this time, I've noticed him and his father do not get along very well at all, and I was wondering if the father's emotional behavior will show up in my boyfriend later in life. His father is somewhat anti-social and does not like his son to have any friends or do anything with his friends (or me), but he makes him stay home on the weekends and work with him around the house/farm.

My boyfriend seems to be totally opposite his father. Funny, smart, outgoing...while his father is quiet and stern with his sons. He tells me about their verbal fighting and how he can't wait to get out of the house, and I have no idea what to say to him to help him cope with it! He doesn't need counseling, but all I tell him is "I'm sorry" or "only a little while longer, then you won't have to deal with it" but does anyone have any other suggestions as to what I can say to him to help him deal with it? He says he doesn't care about it and it's no big deal, but I want to be there for him and help him when these problems come along and I don't know exactly what to say or do to show that I love him anc are about him and to try and make him see that his father probably does too, he just might not know how to express it.

Also...do you think here in 20 years (since we're talking about marriage) he will eventually exhibit the same traits his father now has. he's never really had a father to grow up with, or to talk to or play ball with...and I'm not sure if he would make a good father to our kids if we have them. Do the same traits/genes continue on down the line from father to son? Just wondering. Thanks!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Not necessarily, it's like a child of an alcoholic, they either become alcoholics or swear off the stuff or can drink with control.

 

If he isn't like that now, I don't think he'll do a 180. I hope he can move out into his own apartment one day before you get married.

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