ive met somone online in person once but I do have a boyfriend of 7yrs

[inneed29]

i met a guy from online once already..nothing happened sexually that is but we get along great ..but i do have a boyfriend of 7yrs..im happy with him my boyfriend that is in every way but sexually...he doesnt have sex with me..he shows me love..huggss and such but no passion....im in desperate need of attention.

 

So this is where my friend i met comes in he is willing to satisfy me i guess you could say...he knows i have a guy and has no problems with it...ive not hooked up with him again yet but i am wanting to this friday coming..i dont feel any guilt or remorse ...i hope this doesnt make me a bad person..i just have desires and am not getting fufilled at home...this guy we talk everyday and he gives me somthing i need and im hoping he can also give me the passion im so desperately missing..i guess im saying i wanna have my cake and eat it to...thanks for letting me post any feedback is ok...

[Tony T]

My advice is to run a few miles, take in some pure oxygen, and then take a very cold shower. Just because you've been with somebody seven years doesn't make it right. Passion and sex is a very important part of a relationship and if it's absent, you either change it or break up. There is no good that will come from remaining in a relationship where you must go outside to get your sexual needs met. That's sort of part of what a relationship is for.

 

If you can't start getting your needs met by your boyfriend, break up with him and then go out and screw your brains out with whomever. Meanwhile, I think you are doing the wrong thing by going online to find random people who will satisfy such personal needs. Matter of fact, I think it's dangerous and a bit looney.

[baycityroller]

There simply is no way in the world to justify sneaking around in a relationship, behind one's partner's back, to have sexual needs met. If sex is very important to you, as it is in most serious relationships, and your boyfriend isn't on the same sexual wavelength and you feel this area is sorely lacking, then do both of you a favor and end the relationship honestly and openly and then knock yourself out pursuing meaningless sex with strangers off the internet (who could have HIV and herpes and all kinds of things you have no clue about, not too darn smart). What's your plan here, to remain in a relationship and spend the next 25 years sneaking around having sex behind your boyfriend's back? Does that sound fair or loving to him? I don't think so. No one is denying your need to have intimacy and sex but there ain't no way, no how, to justify skanking around the way you have planned. And what would happen if you accidentally got pregnant? How are you going to explain that one? Any idea how crushed and devastated your boyfriend would be to find out that way that you've been cheating on him? What you get a severe case of herpes or gonorrhea or syphilis and it's so severe that you have no choice but to admit it to your boyfriend? How is that going to look? How do you know this guy you've met online isn't really married? How do you know he's not previously been charged with attempted rape (though perhaps for some reason, the charges were dropped or the case was thrown out of court due to some technicality)? Sounds like you're being rather naive and selfish.

[inneed29]

Thanks for the replys all points taken..but im still going through with it..if im a skank so be it...i know this guy its not like i havent talked to him plenty of times everyday almost i just met him one time so far..and as far as him being rapist or married...no..i know where he lives..where he works ...hell i even know people he works with....my needs not being met is important and i think in everyones life it would be to ..or i think you would be dead in the grave...i have thought everything through as far as disease ..condomsss..thats what they make them for and impregnation..noooo...i cant have anymore children....look im not going through peoples profiles on the internet and asking everyone of them please willl you sleep with me thats not the case at all...i get along great with this guy and he is willing to give me what i need..and its not like we just wanna have sex sex sex..we talk to..i think it will be a very good thing for me and in a way i think it may help things at home.

 

Ive never once cheated on my Boyfriend and i never really have wanted to but i have needs and selfish it may be but so be it you know...im sure nobody understands where im coming from.....if anyone does please do post...i wish i could post this article i have its in the magazine First i think its called...Why women go astray and boredom..very interesting reading....thanks for the feedback

[moimeme]

If you're the sort of person that can justify being selfish and inconsiderate, then there's no point posting here asking for opinions. Clearly you want somebody to reply and say 'you go, girl'. Well, forget that. There's this thing called 'morality' and if you abandon it, then don't expect sympathy or that others will cheer you on.

[Annex]

girlfriend/boyfriend

 

boyfriend doesn't give the girl sex (odd)

 

girl goes out and finds someone to get the job done and is still in a relationship with the dude who can't get the job done

 

my advice : dump ya boyfriend. what you are doing now is considered borderline ho

 

glad I could help

[inneed29]

ya maybe that is what im looking for sombody to say go girl..truly i was just wanting to put somthing up get it off my chest with anonymity you know..just telll somone and not be judged just given opinions seems alot of you are closeminded or never been in my situation

 

 

this is excerpt i saw from other topic about cheating

And what Tony was saying is the absolute truth. We are, at base, animals. There is one part of our brain that governs sex, eating, and survival. It is one of the most basic needs and we persuade ourselves that we can govern these needs but sometimes they overwhelm us.

 

When you are very young and inexperienced about life, it is easy to judge others. Once you have lived some years and found yourself in situations you swore you'd never be in, you realize that you are just as human as everybody else and therefore should not judge others. Actually, you should not judge others anyway.

[Annex]

closeminded? we are closeminded because we know the value of a relationship?

 

you got a boyfriend and getting dick elsewhere. you deserve to be on jerry springer. nothing more to be said

[moimeme]

this is excerpt i saw from other topic about cheating

And what Tony was saying is the absolute truth. We are, at base, animals. There is one part of our brain that governs sex, eating, and survival. It is one of the most basic needs and we persuade ourselves that we can govern these needs but sometimes they overwhelm us.

 

That is my quote and I was talking about the sort of situation two people find themselves in when, after spending a great deal of time in constant close contact, they discover that their feelings have overwhelmed them. It's quite a different thing to seek out an online relationship and pursue it deliberately. In this instance, you are making a choice to seek sexual satisfaction outside of your relationship, you are not caught up in a relationship that developed without your noticing it.

[baycityroller]

So let me get this straight--you posted here, fully intent on whoring around with cyberdude, all so that you could receive pats on the head and someone to condone what you're doing. Weren't you raised to learn the difference between right and wrong? About having respect for others? Imagine how your poor boyfriend would feel if he found out what you're doing....you don't care about that?

 

I have no idea why your boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with you, have you ever spent any time trying to get at the root cause of this? Is he suffering from depression? High stress? Low self esteem? Impotence? Feeling sexually inadequate? I mean, there's got to be a reason. After 7 years together, don't you think you OWE it to him to at least let him go so that he can be free to find someone who's not a ho?

 

And your naive beliefs that because you know where this guy lives and you've talked to him many times, what does that mean? Have you run a criminal background check on him? And you are even more naive than I thought if you think that condoms will protect you totally from HIV and non-curable sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms breaks. People (a guy) can have herpes on way more than just their pecker, they can have it on their balls, their thighs, their butt cheeks, around their arsehole, etc. And a person who has herpes doesn't have to be having an "obvious outbreak" to spread it to someone. You ought to get yourself informed.

 

You are selfishly betraying, and using your boyfriend......and for you to imply that us responding to you, expressing our contempt for your deceitful plan and dishonesty, that we're somehow young and have never been in this position and therefore can't possibly be as openminded as yourself, what a pile of poop. By the way, how old does a person have to be to learn the basics of treating their partner with honesty and respect and integrity? Even a 14 year old has a sense of right and wrong.

 

I hope and pray your poor boyfriend catches on to your tricks and dumps your dirty butt pronto because you simply don't deserve him and you're wasting his time and love. He deserves so much better. And if you're so intent on doing what you're going to do, then what the hell, really, was the point of posting? How pathetic.

[inneed29]

thanks you all are right i was wrong thanks fro all the replys

[inneed29]

sorry didnt finish typing on last post i do love my BF and im going to try to wait this out see whats going on in his head and put off this affair...i donno what is wrongg though but i will try my best to find out...one suspicion of mine is that he is looking at way to much porn online instead of me....maybe he thinks its easier to relieve himself than to go through the trouble of trying to have sex who knows..this is killing my heart tho....i try to initiate with him and all i get is honey can you just tickle me ...im to tired for anything else..night after night...really is a letdown..but you guys are right...i would be a skank ho and i dont wanna be called that im a mother of two and believe it or not got a good rep in my town...so really thanks for all the posts and take care

[almostthere]

I can't stress these words enough......DON'T DO IT!!! I know exactly how you feel. If you want to talk to someone who has been there...please let me know. I'll give you my email address if your interested.

[clia]

Ive never once cheated on my Boyfriend

 

You've already cheated. You are talking to another man online and went to meet him.

 

Cheating does not have to be sex.

[Bozo]

I have a feeling your 'good rep in town' is about to change! lol