he wants to get back together after atwo month break

[Danielle46]

So how have you been doing Lizzy?

 

Im sure you're handling everything just fine...especially since you gave dating a try. How did that go?

 

Have you talked to him at all since he left?

[Lizzyb6938]

Hi Danielle,

umm it was alright. good date but i really do think it's too soon. when the guy wanted to hold my hand I literally felt like running a mile. it was just too weird. he was nice and all but just not matt. But i don't know maybe I just have to get used to it. I'm ok, been going out alot and keeping busy which is good. No haven't heard from him but I basically said I'll speak to you when you get back so not exactly sure how much contact I can really be expecting.

 

how much did your bf contact you? Went to a 21st of his friends last night because all the girls from the group insisted that i went. It was really nice, all his friends were lovely and said- don't worry Lizzy I know Matt and he's not an idiot, you're great for him and are awesome together I wouldn't be suprised when he comes home if it's all alright again. I'm just like yeah, we'll see what happens. didn't stay long as I had something else on as well but it was good to see them all, and going out with the girls again in two weeks for a girls night.

 

so everythings looking ok. how's your bf going?

 

Lizzy

[Lizzyb6938]

btw danielle, he did send a msg tonight. it was a picture msg with him at madame tussauds in london, next to audrey hepburn from breakfast at tiffany's. that's the movie he took me to see at the moonlight cinema for our first date. the msg under the pic said. 'just having tea with an old friend, thought you'd like to join us.' haven't written back yet. kind of been thinking about what gd said. maybe i should just ignore contact. or just send a short msg back. i don't know, what would you do?

[Danielle46]

Well to answer your first question: During the 1st week or so of our break, I really didn't speak to him much, b/c I truly went NC with him..but after about a week and half/ 2 weeks he contacted me, and I just kept the conversation very light & platonic...with no mention of "us".

 

My boyfriend and I are doing really well. I feel like this break was actually a great experience for us to go through. As hard as it was, I feel like it's brought us closer than ever and we're getting along remarkably well. He seems to appreciate me and our relationship even more than before and it's awesome! I really hope your end result is the same as mine...and I really think it will be! Your situation is very similar!

 

Honestly...the little picture and comment he said you, is very cute! lol.

 

What would I do?....Well...

 

I would remain NC on my end.. and by that I mean I would not be the one INITIATING conversation, but I dont think I would "ignore" him if he tried to contact me, b/c I still care. HOWEVER.... I would not be mushy in my response to that. I would probably keep it very simple and just say something like "Glad that you're having fun, stay safe!" or something very short & sweet like that. It shows that you care but aren't going to sugar coat everything everytime he contacts you.

Thats just me though. Do w/e you think would be best for you. When my b/f and I were apart from each other, I never ONCE initiated conversation by email, text, phone etc...I left that all up to him, since HE was the one who wanted this whole "break" thing.

 

But I did not ignore him when he did contact me. I also didn't jump to respond to him ASAP. If he texted me, I might have waited like 30 mins- 1 hour before I even responded to him....that kind of left him wondering what I was up too since Im usually very quick to respond to anyone's call/text. So since he messaged you, maybe give it a couple days before you respond...that way he will think to himself that you've been keeping yourself busy, too busy, to be worried about checking messages every 5 minutes, you know what I mean?

 

It will be like a huge sigh of relief for him when he finally hears from you. So you want to allow him to stew a little, like you have been, and then he'll see what it's like to not have you RIGHT there every second of every day.

 

----And yeah, going on a date right now might be a little too soon. I mean there's no harm in trying but I know how akward it would be to be out with someone and it not be the man you're soo used to being out with. It is possibly too soon to be dating, I would just be hanging out with friends (guys & girls, w/e) and enjoying my life, but maybe not necessarily planning "dates" with guys...just hanging out platonically.

 

Does that help at all!? lol.... I know I can sound confusing at times...Im trying my best to type what Im thinking but it can be challenging..sometimes these things are better understood by verbal conversation so Im trying my best to put it in written words! lol!

[Lizzyb6938]

no really you've been wonderful danielle. yeah the message was very cute. i'm going to write back now something like, 'hehe say hi for me, hope madame tusauds was awesome' just short and sweet. yeah it's been about a week since he contacted, so similar to your bf. yeah i agree that this time apart is going to be really good. i'm focussing on getting everything sorted after uni and having a blast with my friends. yeah maybe leaving dating for a while might be a good thing, it just feels way too weird, and it's too soon, it's only been like 2.5 weeks.

[Danielle46]

Yeah I would definitely give it more time before I dated anyone. Just for the mere fact that everytime I would be out with someone else, my b/f would cross my mind, and like you said I would be thinking "this isn't him..." and that never works well. lol

 

But it is a good sign that he's been contacting you...that's showing that he isn't just up and leaving you without any sort of contact, you can tell that he really cares. You are obviously crossing his mind, probably more than you think.

 

Haha, it would be cool if you lived close! We could have grabbed coffee over all this conversation! lol

 

Glad to know you're doing okay though and focusing your time and attention elsewhere for the time being. =)

[Lizzyb6938]

haha that would be awesome. where do you live btw? i live in Sydney Australia. yeah i ended up writing back and he wrote a couple of messages afterwards. i kept it very light, took a while before replying. it was so funny, i took a day to write back to the first message and he wrote back within two minutes.he also sent me a facebook message.

 

'hey lizzy,

 

i thought i would send you an email/message because i don't know how long it will be beofre i get internet access again.

 

how are you? how is lizzy in sydney? i saw the photos of you at the 21st's. i love the dress, i havent seen it before so i assume it is new. have u decided on wat you are doing next year? o rthat is to be determined at a later date lol

 

i am about to go to poland. it is cold in london but i am still struting it in my shorts and t-shirts lol. i have managed to do all the things u recommended and it was all worth it. i loved the tower of london, i didnt know much about who was held there (except wat u have told me) but i knew a fair bit about the battles that were fought and gaurds protecting it so it was really cool.

 

anyway i hope all is well princess *(sorry lame joke from a jealous man). dont forget to wear some sunscreen on the cruise so you dont burn like the girls did all those years ago when i went. you are under an australian style sun, not a thailand sun. u burn not bronze so becareful.

 

despite that warning, i know you will have a total blast. enjoy all the cocktails with the girls, the midnight pizzas (which are a must), ice cream and bingo in the arvo.

 

i miss you pumpkin

 

matt'

 

 

*by the way the princess reference is about a guy on my facebook calling me princess.

 

so yeah communication overload, haven't replied yet but will keep it casual like i have been.

[Danielle46]

Heyy again!

 

Well I definitely would want to get together with you if you were a tad bit closer...b/c Im sure you have that awesome Australian accent! lol. Im from Florida, right near Miami.

 

Well it is nice to know that he thought of you when he DID have internet access. Think about it this way....he could have emailed anyone else, but he chose to email you, which is nice.

 

He misses you like crazy, that I can assure you. He sounds like a very decent man & someone who is keeping you very close at heart.

 

I think it would be totally in line to reply but at the same time, like you said, keep it casual! Def. dont be the one to start with the gooey mushy "i love you, miss you" stuff...leave that for him. The fact that you respond to him at all, even in a completely casual sense, is enough to show him that you care!

 

You seem to be doing pretty well which is great! Continue going out & having fun with friends...you know he loves you & it seems to me that this break is going to do the same thing for the two of you that it has for my b/f and I. January is closer than you think & will be approaching before you know it!

 

Hope you continue to keep your head up! The holiday's approaching tomorrow so I may not check my emails and such until Friday, but I will be checking it then! So don't worry, I WILL get back to you! =)

 

.....I would LOVE to visit Australia one day! It seems amazing!....the accent alone is enough to bring me there! =))

[Lizzyb6938]

Hi Danielle,

long time no speak. wanted to update. I went away for a week on a cruise with my friends (had an absolute blast, was the best thing ever). Came back, turned on my phone. he sent me two more pic messages. Last one was of the eiffel tower which said 'hey pumpkin, thought i'd send you a pretty picture so you don't throw your phone (last time I saw him I confessed I'd been throwing my phone whenever he msgd lol). How was the cruise? what have you been up to? hope it was good.' Took nearly two days to reply. Finally said 'the cruise was great, paris looks amazing. hope youre having a blast.' He wrote back in two minutes saying 'glad cruise was good. Paris is beautiful. I miss you.' And I haven't written back. Do you think I should? So contact has been fairly regular since he's been gone. Just kept replies short and sweet.

 

I've been dating a little more which has been fun, and having a blast with my friends so I think I'm now truely in a position where I will be ok with or without him. About to go on the third date with one guy. Finally starting to be ok with it, but I do miss Matt heaps. he'll be back in around ten days and I honestly don't know what's going to happen. i don't know whether or not i should have held off on the dating and waited or whether i've done the right thing. I like one of the new guys but it's not the same.

 

I know he misses me but that doesn't exactly translate into us getting back together. So basically I'm in a better place and I know that I will survive either way but I still miss him like crazy and don't know whether to be hopeful or not. Also one of his friends invited me to their birthday drinks. He'll be home by then and I don't know whether I should go or not.

 

Btw you should totally come to Australia, our accents are pretty good if I do say so myself lol.

 

Lizzy