JePam Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 when i was 3 one of my older brothers and one of my cousins used to make me do things to one of the family dogs. While i wont go into details on what it was, lets just say it was very gross. Every now and then they make fun of me for doing it and in the past i havent stuck up for myself and just let them say that im disgusting for doing it. Its been a while since it was brough up but in January there is a big family event and im worried that they will bring it up again to make fun of me. Im worried that the family members who dont know will find out and it will cause more problems with my family. What should i do if it comes up again? Link to post Share on other sites
vintagecat Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Wow. Give yourself a break. You were 3. They should be ashamed that they coached or coaxed you as a baby into doing something that you regret at an age when children are highly suggestible, have almost no boundaries and have zero sense for the consequences of their actions. That is the bigger crime. Instead of looking out for you, your older brothers abused your trust and continue to do so to this day every time they bring it up. That they don't have sense to be ashamed of themselves is telling as to they type of people that they have become. I would point out so much to them should they ever bring it up again in no uncertain terms and put an end to this for good. Link to post Share on other sites
me4u2 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 What if you let them know ahead of time? Can you just tell them that you don't care to discuss that anymore and you'd appreciate it if they don't bring it up. Period. It's quite simple. You are in charge of you. Say what you want to say and how you want to say it. This is a time when you don't need to be considerate of their feelings since they obviously aren't of yours. If it's not possible to handle it before the event, then maybe you should pull them to the side right off the bat and tell them not to bring it up. You don't like it, you don't appreciate it and you don't care to hear about it regardless of who thinks it's funny, gross or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Just say out loud - very loud - "Yes, I was a three-year old kid, and you made me do it, you insensitive jerks - when are you gonna let the matter drop, because you're just as guilty, if not worse! You're just repulsive, really, don't you think??" If you retaliate and show them up instead, I doubt it will ever come up again. It might take a bit of courage, but you have a right to be angry.... Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Just say out loud - very loud - "Yes, I was a three-year old kid, and you made me do it, I'd handle it as Geisha suggested. You can also consider something like, "I was 3, you freakin' morons...when are you guys gonna get some therapy so you can stop feeling so guilty and ashamed of yourselves? I'm tired of being the target of your inner torment!" In a VERY loud voice. Cos that's all it is. They are feeling guilty and trying to pin their feelings onto you. You are not responsible. You did not have power when you were 3. You didn't do anything "wrong" -- you were forced to do something by them, and your 3-year old mind would have perceived them as having authority/power over you. They own ALL the guilt, blame and shame...and you have every right and power to give it all back to them, at this point. I'm sorry that happened to you. (((hugs))) Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 when i was 3 one of my older brothers and one of my cousins used to make me do things to one of the family dogs. While i wont go into details on what it was, lets just say it was very gross. Every now and then they make fun of me for doing it and in the past i havent stuck up for myself and just let them say that im disgusting for doing it. Its been a while since it was brough up but in January there is a big family event and im worried that they will bring it up again to make fun of me. Im worried that the family members who dont know will find out and it will cause more problems with my family. What should i do if it comes up again? On the bright side, you grew up with pets. Some folks don't get to have pets when they were growing up because they couldn't afford them - wish I did. Link to post Share on other sites
ed-205 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 You don't mention how old you are now, but the fact that they still hold this over you only shows me what losers they really are! The only reason they bring it up anymore is because you still react to it in a way that boosts their pathetic egos. STOP responding to it! The next time they bring it up, just roll your eyes at them, tell them to "Grow up", and walk away. You can't erase the mistakes you made in the past, but you don't have to let them follow you around for the rest of your life, or let others use them to emotionally manipulate you. That's a lesson your tormentors obviously haven't learned yet, and from the way they treat you, I would expect that they conceal many dark, dirty secrets of their own. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 JePam, You did NOT make any mistakes when you were 3 -- all the mistakes and inappropriate behaviour that happened at that time are 100% the responsibility of the brother and cousin in question. They misused the power that being a few years older than you gave them, over you. You were the victim of their misuse of power, and are not responsible for their actions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JePam Posted November 2, 2008 Author Share Posted November 2, 2008 im 24 now. Link to post Share on other sites
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