Unsure, afraid....

[Elise]

Hello-

 

I am coming out of a long term (9 yr) relationship and believe I am depressed (runs in the family). I've made an appointment with a counselor...

 

I am just overwhelmed with feelings of failure and rejection. It's like I can't do anything right. I can't concentrate, don't feel like doing anything.

 

I don't even want to go out outside because I feel sad and vulnerable. And I don't want anyone to know how miserable I am because I don't want anyone's pity.

 

Everyone keeps telling me to think about myself, to do things that make me feel better, but nothing makes me feel good anymore. I just don't care about anything.

 

I don't have a lot of close friends and I don't want to keep burdening the ones I have by being sad. Who wants to be around a sad person?

 

I am angry, sad, hopeful, guilty, confused... I just don't know what to do. Does anyone else feel this way? How can I get through this?

[Tony T]

You are showing signs of depression that are very common for someone going through your situation.

 

Your local bookstores will have a number of excellent books with skills on how to get over a relationship and move forward. There are also some very good reference materials on the links to this website, just go back to the homepage, go to the top and hit "links."

 

Healing takes time. You sound like a very sensitive person so, in your case, in could take maybe a bit longer. I urge you to keep your appointment with the counsellor and go to the recommended follow-up sessions.

 

If you live in a larger town, there are usually many free workshops and support groups for those going through a divorce. Even though you were not married, all the feelings you are going through will be the same and you could get some valuable help and support from these groups.

 

There are a lot of people who get married and divorced several times during a nine year period. What you are going through is difficult and there are no shortcuts to healing. Be kind to yourself. I hope I have help direct you to some resources that will be of help to you.