Npd

[amaysngrace]

what more do people want from me?

 

I think people just want you to find the best way to be content with life.

 

I've heard that npd's can have a really good relationship with other npd's. There's a pretty good website about it. Dr. Irene. I don't know if that's still available but it's worth a look.

[a4a]

I’ve just phoned my parents to inform them I will be travelling across four states to see them and spend Christmas with them. I have organised a night in a bar with three friends and the first few round of drinks will be paid for by me. How is that? I seldom spend anytime with parents, as I have a strained relationship with them and I seldom buy my friends anything. What more do people want from me? I am detached from everyone; I am so detached my friend s seldom invites me anywhere and I seldom talk to my family. I have also decided against following up my interest in the girl I was dating, how is that for effort? I want a relationship and know I can’t sustain one, again what more do people want from me?

 

As a Republican, I voted for Obama today, because I see him a new figurehead that will lead America into a new beginning, again what more do people want from me?

 

ok lets drop the psycho babble BS.

 

You treat people poorly and now you feel guilty.

 

Congratulations.... but if you truly are doing this out of motivation to just make yourself feel better.... you are not going about it the right way. This isn't about concern for others this is about your own ego and the need to convince yourself that you are good.

 

I am bad so I will dump my girlfriend = now I am good.

 

and a NPDer main motivation for anything is only able to be self serving.... so perhaps you do not have NPD..... ???

[Ronni_W]

What I want to know is if NPD affects potential relationships?

Yes, having narcissistic tendencies WILL negatively impact ALL your relationships. Same as jealousy or any other maladaptive behaviour.

 

Even if you don't tell your girlfriend, she will eventually figure out that you aren't good partner material.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy can help with gaining a more realistic self-image and develop empathy. From what you've posted, it does sound as if CBT will be helpful for you to gain insights into how/where your beliefs and thought processes are limiting your ability to better engage with your external world (if that is what you desire, of course.)

 

 

People with narcissistic personalities have been around forever but only recently has it become a "disorder". I don't know if it's in the most-current DSM. But once it is listed therein, that would open the door for huge financial rewards for those in the medical field, perhaps especially Big Pharma.

There is a pattern to just keep turning normal emotional problems (dysfunctional behaviour and maladaptive coping strategies) into "mental disorders"...so that they can manufacture the "cure" in the form of another "miracle drug." As consumers, we do need to be careful about what we buy into, especially when it comes to our own mental/emotional health and well-being.

[Humbleman]

If you do counselling and work on it, want to work on it, make the effort then yeah, it can be controlled..Maybe not ALL the time, but the majority of time. CBT will help, as you mentioned in your reply..

 

I do have a question, why do you let other people dictate your moods? Or is that part of the problem, the NPD.

 

You don't have to become Mr Social Butterfly, but those who are IN your life, need to know you care about them, that it's a two-way street..

 

 

 

You sound quite annoyed that you've made a big effort, like there has to be some big pay off.. I guess you've never done something nice for someone, just for no particular reason. Unless you benefit from it.. I don't mean to be rude to you, I'm trying to understand where you're coming from on this.

 

What do YOU think people want from you?

 

Also, why did you decide not to follow up on dating that girl? Though she's probably better off because eventually you'll hurt her, from the sounds of it, you're not really wanting anything serious, anything that requires effort and I guess I just answered my own question as to why you called it off with her.

 

I don’t allow other people to do dictate my moods. I’ve always thrived on praise, for instance I am at my pinnacle when people lavishly praise me. I enjoy it; it makes me feel a sense of grandiose that I cannot conjure up myself. I remember one time four girls in high school wanted me to choose them for our prom. Two were very persistent and it made me feel confident, sexy and I fail to see what the problem is with this? How can you show someone you care? I am always around if my friends are around, I cannot emphasis with people because I do not view life the same way as them. Most people are heartbroken when they split up with someone; I’ve never felt this way, no rejection or break up has ever made me feel badly. I’ve never cried at a wedding or at a funeral, I see death as imminent and as such there is little need to shed tears, and most marriages last five minutes. I’m pretty emotionless and I always have been. That doesn’t mean I do not get euphoric highs and depressing lows like everyone else, I am just wired differently from most people. When a person is going through a rough patch, I speak my mind. My father was left unemployed when he worked in a chocolate factory and he lazed around and enjoyed his unemployment; people gave him sympathy, but what for? Why give a bone-idle moron any form of sympathy? He was made redundant, it happens; get over yourself and look for another job and I told this to him. He didn’t like it, but I don’t care, everyone has to work, so why should he be an exception? I have no time for people like him.

 

I am annoyed because travelling across four states is an irritation, I cannot afford airline tickets and I have an aversion to aviation, so I have to drive, can you imagine the expense? The expense of buying people presents, snotty nosed nephews and nieces of mine frowning upon their presents is overwhelmingly great. Petrol isn’t cheap either and my car drinks petrol like an alcoholic drinks alcohol. Why would I do something for someone if there is nothing in return for me? I am not a charity; I do not hand out niceness and expect nothing back. People who do that are left in gutter; I’ve seen it from family members, fellow employees, friends and husbands/wives. These people gave and gave until they could give no more and what happened? They were left with absolutely nothing. I do give, but I also expect something in return. If I buy my girlfriend a present, I want hot sex later on, if I don’t get it, then I’ll go out with friends and slate her until I can slate her no more. It’s my prerogative, but I am gaining advice on this.

 

People want whatever they can get from me, my last partner wanted marriage, the partner before that wanted children (she was some years older than me), my friends would love it if I allowed them to sit in my car and ruin the seats. My family want me to live all holier than thou. They want me to have a wife and children and try and gain promotion (which I cannot). People expect too much from me and never allow me to do what I want to do, I feel repressed.

 

decided not to follow up with her, because it would be a complete waste of time, she’ll no doubt want something from me in the long run and I do not understand why I should compromise myself for someone else without expecting something in return.

[Humbleman]

I think people just want you to find the best way to be content with life.

 

I've heard that npd's can have a really good relationship with other npd's. There's a pretty good website about it. Dr. Irene. I don't know if that's still available but it's worth a look.

 

People have a funny way of showing it, people try and dictate my life and worm their way in with the “I care” trash.

 

I’ve been reading Dr. Irene’s website and apparently I am an abuser now. Well, I never is there anything else I will be branded by a moron who clearly hasn’t a clue as to what she is wittering on about?

[Humbleman]

ok lets drop the psycho babble BS.

 

You treat people poorly and now you feel guilty.

 

Congratulations.... but if you truly are doing this out of motivation to just make yourself feel better.... you are not going about it the right way. This isn't about concern for others this is about your own ego and the need to convince yourself that you are good.

 

I am bad so I will dump my girlfriend = now I am good.

 

and a NPDer main motivation for anything is only able to be self serving.... so perhaps you do not have NPD..... ???

 

I do not treat people poorly, I haven’t murdered anyone, I do not verbally or physically abuse anyone and I do not feel guilty at all, why would I? I haven’t done anything wrong. It’s not my fault that people invest too much emotionally in someone and get their fingers burnt.

 

Yes, having narcissistic tendencies WILL negatively impact ALL your relationships. Same as jealousy or any other maladaptive behaviour.

 

Even if you don't tell your girlfriend, she will eventually figure out that you aren't good partner material.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy can help with gaining a more realistic self-image and develop empathy. From what you've posted, it does sound as if CBT will be helpful for you to gain insights into how/where your beliefs and thought processes are limiting your ability to better engage with your external world (if that is what you desire, of course.)

 

 

People with narcissistic personalities have been around forever but only recently has it become a "disorder". I don't know if it's in the most-current DSM. But once it is listed therein, that would open the door for huge financial rewards for those in the medical field, perhaps especially Big Pharma.

There is a pattern to just keep turning normal emotional problems (dysfunctional behaviour and maladaptive coping strategies) into "mental disorders"...so that they can manufacture the "cure" in the form of another "miracle drug." As consumers, we do need to be careful about what we buy into, especially when it comes to our own mental/emotional health and well-being.

 

I agree with the latter part of your post. NPD seems like another marketing tool.

[a4a]

I do not treat people poorly, I haven’t murdered anyone, I do not verbally or physically abuse anyone and I do not feel guilty at all, why would I? I haven’t done anything wrong. It’s not my fault that people invest too much emotionally in someone and get their fingers burnt.

.

 

Now that is spoken like a true NPDer.

[Ronni_W]

NPD seems like another marketing tool.

But narcissistic tendencies are real barriers to being able to achieve our highest potential, and it might be wise to take it seriously that you ARE living your life and creating your experiences from that mindset.

 

The lack of murder and physical/emotional abuse on our 'personal resumes' does not make us uplifting, supportive, genuinely loving human beings, though. It is a bit of backwards "logic" to take comfort in NOT having killed or harmed, which of course, true narcissists do cause great harm and pain to others. They just don't get it, that they do.

[Taramere]

I do not treat people poorly, I haven’t murdered anyone, I do not verbally or physically abuse anyone and I do not feel guilty at all, why would I? I haven’t done anything wrong. It’s not my fault that people invest too much emotionally in someone and get their fingers burnt.

 

People operate emotionally as well as logically. If you're not geared towards understanding other people's emotional needs and, to a certain extent, catering to them, then you're not geared to it. There's no sense in arguing the rights and wrongs of that; it's just the way you personally are built.

 

It does mean, though, that problems inevitably emerge in social and relationship situations. People generally have some understanding of eachother's emotional needs; that understanding is what makes them warm to eachother and connect emotionally - so people will often take quite strongly against individuals who seem incapable of understanding and attuning themselves to those needs. Regard them as a bit strange and even untrustworthy.

 

From what you're saying, you've seen enough evidence of this in your life to decide to make changes. Primarily for the sake of getting people off your case so that they stop bringing your mood down. With that being your motive, I think you're probably in for some more frustrating times ahead as you go through the motions of trying to please people and they get agitated - probably because they're sensing that you're doing it out of duty and to keep them off your backs, rather than from a genuine desire to make them happy.

 

I feel for you. It must be very difficult to feel that you're doing all the correct things and still being marked as "not right". I'm not quite sure how counselling would address something like that - other than, I suppose, assist people to make a more convincing show when they're going through the motions. That's not something that sits well with me, as I don't believe counselling should promote dishonest behaviour.

 

Assuming your counsellors don't believe that's what they're doing, I can only assume that they believe there's some way of helping you to develop genuine warmth and empathy. I'd question whether it's possible to "teach" empathy to someone who lacks it, but I might be wrong in that.

[MN randomguy]

I do not treat people poorly, I haven’t murdered anyone, I do not verbally or physically abuse anyone and I do not feel guilty at all, why would I? I haven’t done anything wrong. It’s not my fault that people invest too much emotionally in someone and get their fingers burnt.

 

 

 

I agree with the latter part of your post. NPD seems like another marketing tool.

 

 

Yes,

 

True Narcissist.

 

I Had, key word is HAD a narcissistic friend. In the summer of '07 he introduced me to his GF's friend. I have always been kind of awkward around women, but found the courage to really pursue this girl. He was shocked and didn't like this. The girl I was pursuing was more attractive than the girl he was dating. It ended the friendship.

 

Here's the deal. If Humble's post is real he is textbook Narcissist. The deal with Narcissism is that it feels good to be a Narcissist. Until you have a Narcissistic Injury. This is when someone damages your huge fragile ego. Once that happens you might say, go on a drinking binge or something like that. You will be popular with the ladies as you're super confident and always conscuious of your image. Image and confidence are two things especially young women who've never been hurt really love.

 

Now, if you read that book about Narcissism it will tell you that you that being Narcissistic is fun. Who wouldn't like to feel superior and be supremely confident. They only go to counseling when they drive another person away or their families tell them they need to go to counseling because they're intolerable.

 

This girl, If you want to keep her go to counseling. I don't know if its a good idea to tell her if you want to keep her around. If she's a "I want to save you" type person it might insure that she won't leave you "while you're sick"

 

If you truly are telling the truth you'll abuse this girl for status like you did with the young girls who's feelings you hurt stringing them along for prom. Eventually You'll gain sucha a reputation as an A-hole that you'll have no friends. This will allow you time to get a second job to afford that Aston Martin you've always wanted.

 

If you want to avoid the pain that caused the drinking binge, your options are therapy or suicide.

[MN randomguy]

People operate emotionally as well as logically. If you're not geared towards understanding other people's emotional needs and, to a certain extent, catering to them, then you're not geared to it.

 

 

The question is do you care about other's emotions. My dad cares for my mother deeply, but he's a very Ex-marine type guy who isn't good with reading and expressing emotions. He's very logical and thinks rather than feels. So, he will go out of his way to do practical things for her.

 

 

I don't believe counselling should promote dishonest behaviour.

 

Assuming your counsellors don't believe that's what they're doing, I can only assume that they believe there's some way of helping you to develop genuine warmth and empathy. I'd question whether it's possible to "teach" empathy to someone who lacks it, but I might be wrong in that.

 

I would think you could teach empathy. Isn't that what you do with toddlers when they don't play nice with the other kids? "Don't hit your sister, how would you like it if someone hit you for no reason":D

[You'reasian]

I don’t allow other people to do dictate my moods. I’ve always thrived on praise, for instance I am at my pinnacle when people lavishly praise me. I enjoy it; it makes me feel a sense of grandiose that I cannot conjure up myself. I remember one time four girls in high school wanted me to choose them for our prom. Two were very persistent and it made me feel confident, sexy and I fail to see what the problem is with this? How can you show someone you care? I am always around if my friends are around, I cannot emphasis with people because I do not view life the same way as them. Most people are heartbroken when they split up with someone; I’ve never felt this way, no rejection or break up has ever made me feel badly. I’ve never cried at a wedding or at a funeral, I see death as imminent and as such there is little need to shed tears, and most marriages last five minutes. I’m pretty emotionless and I always have been. That doesn’t mean I do not get euphoric highs and depressing lows like everyone else, I am just wired differently from most people. When a person is going through a rough patch, I speak my mind. My father was left unemployed when he worked in a chocolate factory and he lazed around and enjoyed his unemployment; people gave him sympathy, but what for? Why give a bone-idle moron any form of sympathy? He was made redundant, it happens; get over yourself and look for another job and I told this to him. He didn’t like it, but I don’t care, everyone has to work, so why should he be an exception? I have no time for people like him.

 

I am annoyed because travelling across four states is an irritation, I cannot afford airline tickets and I have an aversion to aviation, so I have to drive, can you imagine the expense? The expense of buying people presents, snotty nosed nephews and nieces of mine frowning upon their presents is overwhelmingly great. Petrol isn’t cheap either and my car drinks petrol like an alcoholic drinks alcohol. Why would I do something for someone if there is nothing in return for me? I am not a charity; I do not hand out niceness and expect nothing back. People who do that are left in gutter; I’ve seen it from family members, fellow employees, friends and husbands/wives. These people gave and gave until they could give no more and what happened? They were left with absolutely nothing. I do give, but I also expect something in return. If I buy my girlfriend a present, I want hot sex later on, if I don’t get it, then I’ll go out with friends and slate her until I can slate her no more. It’s my prerogative, but I am gaining advice on this.

 

People want whatever they can get from me, my last partner wanted marriage, the partner before that wanted children (she was some years older than me), my friends would love it if I allowed them to sit in my car and ruin the seats. My family want me to live all holier than thou. They want me to have a wife and children and try and gain promotion (which I cannot). People expect too much from me and never allow me to do what I want to do, I feel repressed.

 

decided not to follow up with her, because it would be a complete waste of time, she’ll no doubt want something from me in the long run and I do not understand why I should compromise myself for someone else without expecting something in return.

 

The concept of giving can include giving without expect of any return. You probably think this is foolish, but if you give for the sake of giving and appreciating, that's indeed self-less.

 

Some people volunteer there time during the holidays, for instance. I knew a young man whom instead of being home with his family - opted to spend his Thanksgiving holiday serving food to the homeless. He did so for the past 4-5 years and got nothing back from anyone, except the gratification of knowing that he was able to fill others bellies...

 

You don't have to wait for hollidays either.

 

I knew another individual who donated time or money to good causes- causes that really mattered to those who were involved, whether they were disaster relief efforts, support for battered wives or to support critical disease research.

 

We live busy, hectic lives but sometimes its nice to give to others just for the sake of their enjoyment. I find myself not really desiring Christmas gifts, rather giving to others who really need something.

 

The best part of giving/volunteering - is doing it privately. No one has to know that you ran a 10K race to raise funds for cancer (unless they choose to donate of course). No one has to see you at an unpopular shelter spooning gravy and turkey to he homeless, no one has to know that you've paid for someone else's meal.

[Taramere]

The question is do you care about other's emotions. My dad cares for my mother deeply, but he's a very Ex-marine type guy who isn't good with reading and expressing emotions. He's very logical and thinks rather than feels. So, he will go out of his way to do practical things for her.

 

I'd say that that's lower on empathy insofar as he finds it difficult to put himself into her shoes emotionally in order to figure out what she wants from him...but that doesn't translate in a bad way. He loves her and wants to make her happy, so he tries to do that by caring for her in practical ways. And no doubt your mother knows and understands him well enough to appreciate that. Low empathy needn't equal bad. A person might be low on empathy, but nonetheless have a strong desire for fairness and a wish to bring happiness to the people who make them happy.

 

One person, A, might comfort you when you're upset by listening to you express your feelings, and helping you to make sense of them. Another, B, might make you a cup of tea and pat you awkwardly on the shoulder. A, being higher in empathy, will take to the counselling role more naturally - but might be a bit crap at helping in practical ways. The point is that they're both caring for you. B might be far less touchy feely a person and less tuned in to how you're feeling, but be just as kind and concerned in his/her own way.

 

Although we always laud empathy, one could argue that an evil person (in the sense of one who causes great harm to other people and to society in general) could also be an empathic one. That a person who is motivated to inflict emotional pain might use their empathic skill in order to maximise psychological damage to the other person.

 

What the OP seems to be saying is that he wants to do the right thing by other people. Albeit, his main reason is to get them off his back - but still, his motive generally seems to be to become a "good person". If he's very committed to that motive, then he might learn to manage his relationships in ways that are good enough for other people, but that don't compromise who he is. ie that don't require him to fake a level of empathy for others that he isn't really feeling).

 

 

I would think you could teach empathy. Isn't that what you do with toddlers when they don't play nice with the other kids? "Don't hit your sister, how would you like it if someone hit you for no reason":D

 

I think that's appealing to and encouraging a person's sense of empathy. If they're highly logical and very low on empathy, their response to that might be "I wouldn't like to be hit for no reason, but I'm not the one being hit for no reason....so what's your point?" With a child like that, you might have to accept that appealing to/encouraging their sense of empathy isn't very effective, and that instilling/encouraging a sense of rules and fair play might be far more appealing to their logical nature.

[Trialbyfire]

Humbleman, I'll give you my reasons why I don't think you have NPD.

 

Someone with NPD is not self-destructive. He loves himself too much. With that self-love, he will come across as someone very similar to a high self-esteem guy. You don't strike me that way at all.

 

Also, based on my experience with someone who's NPD, you lack charm, which is what gets NPDers the ladies. Without charm, you can't manipulate.

 

I will agree that you're very low to zero, on empathy but I also don't see a goodly amount of rational thought, either. I do see some narcissistic tendencies though.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

In all fairness TBF your experience was with a somatic N, not a cerebral one. Both types can be very much self-destructive, especially in crisis, its just always someone elses fault!

[Trialbyfire]

I guess it's reliant on your definition of self-destructive. Drinking yourself to death isn't a standard NPD action unless you're an alcoholic, then it becomes part of your coping tool.

 

It's true that my ex was Somatic but he was also Intellectual Cerebral and High Functioning. Quite the mess but when it came to being successful in all aspects in life, this was him, except for emotional success. I will say that he did love me, as much as an NPDer could love someone who wasn't self.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

In many/most cases there is a drug/alcohol comorbitity. Usually, though, the cerebral N's don't act out sexually.

 

Quite the mess but when it came to being successful in all aspects in life, this was him, except for emotional success.

 

We have alot in common, only I know very well the self destruction that comes when you add alcoholism into the mix. Then that person who has rellished in their success, even when it inclueds an unending source of NS, will risk everything while drinking because they become even more invinsable.

 

When they wake up sober though and realize and are morified at the risk, they will then blame it on someone else. You should have stopped me... if so and so hadn't p*ssed me off... ect... Even in the event that they admit responsibility it is rationalized that is was only themselves that they were hurting...

[amaysngrace]

My exH npd guy sometimes use to come in like two seconds and say "I hate myself". He was a destructive kind of guy.

 

Humbleman, why do you think that even though my exH is remarried now he would call me every day to chit-chat? He mostly only calls when the kids are in school so he can talk to me but not so much for them.

 

He brings up things from the past like the good memories. It's really weird to me. Can you explain why he would do that?

[Humbleman]

My exH npd guy sometimes use to come in like two seconds and say "I hate myself". He was a destructive kind of guy.

 

Humbleman, why do you think that even though my exH is remarried now he would call me every day to chit-chat? He mostly only calls when the kids are in school so he can talk to me but not so much for them.

 

He brings up things from the past like the good memories. It's really weird to me. Can you explain why he would do that?

 

He wants attention. I do that with my ex's to gain attention, because when they say "Yeah I remember that one time..." and the talk about the good times it makes me feel good, it gives me a feeling of grandiose, enough to keep my mood at euphoric levels. I dress smartly, spray on expensive cologne and style my hair because I know women like it and women will often compliment me and that makes me feel grand, it's good for my ego, I get off on it.

[Humbleman]

Humbleman, I'll give you my reasons why I don't think you have NPD.

 

Someone with NPD is not self-destructive. He loves himself too much. With that self-love, he will come across as someone very similar to a high self-esteem guy. You don't strike me that way at all.

 

Also, based on my experience with someone who's NPD, you lack charm, which is what gets NPDers the ladies. Without charm, you can't manipulate.

 

I will agree that you're very low to zero, on empathy but I also don't see a goodly amount of rational thought, either. I do see some narcissistic tendencies though.

 

 

I appreciate your opinion as much as anyone else’s, but you are making crass generalizations based on text, you cannot possibly begin to know someone, but word, you can get an insight, but you won’t see the picture.

 

When I look at myself in the mirror every single day before I head off to work, I am proud of what I see, I am handsome and I know I am handsome and I like it when people tell me I am handsome. Who doesn’t? I love everything about myself, from my toes to every strand of hair on top of my head.

 

Charm is somewhat hard to convey on an internet forum isn’t it? I get women alright; they come along in two’s or three’s more often than not. Then I either ignore them because I am not interested or they find something they do not like and walk away. I enjoy the company and attention of these said women, I care not for a developing of a relationship, but I enjoy their company, their praise and their bodies. At work, I always target the new women, I make them feel at home and then I expect something in return, usually sex, but I am not idiotic enough to tap them up at work. I can be charming when I need to be charming, when I see a woman who captures my attention. But I will always look good no matter what and I will always try and target my bosses’ position, as I am more qualified than he is. If you have ever been in this position you will realize how demoralizing this is.

 

It’s funny you should mention rational thought, because when I was diagnosed with NPD, the doctor who diagnosed me at first, said that I had rational thought regarding my views on emotions etc. For, instance I do not believe that someone should cry at weddings, why would a person cry at a wedding? They are supposed to be joyous occasions and yet there is always one person who feels the need to cry, it makes me angry and why do people cry at funerals? We all die, it’s not like a persons death is unexpected is it? I am considering a third opinion on the matter, because after doing independent research I have found that NPD is closely related to several other disorders, borderline personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder and anti-social personality disorder to name a few. I have an individual therapy session with psychiatrist on Monday Morning. According to my doctor they will try and suppress the disorder and channel it into something more positive, a transformation if you will.

[amaysngrace]

I do that with my ex's to gain attention, because when they say "Yeah I remember that one time..." and the talk about the good times it makes me feel good, it gives me a feeling of grandiose, enough to keep my mood at euphoric levels.

 

So you think he forgot the bad crap between us? I see our relationship being 95% bad. But he mentions when we vacationed, how we had money, even sex between us. It's a place I don't really want to re-visit but he has no problem going back there.

 

He sounds a lot like you. He knows he's handsome, very, and use to say he couldn't wait till tomorrow because he gets better looking everyday.

 

And he is charming. He can be very charming. Which is why he has no problem getting a good paying job. His problem is he can't keep a job for long. Are you like that?

 

I have an individual therapy session with psychiatrist on Monday Morning. According to my doctor they will try and suppress the disorder and channel it into something more positive, a transformation if you will.

 

I sincerely hope that it works out for you.

[marlena]

I agree with you Nemo. So called "narcissists" are just people with an overinflated ego. They are conceited and selfish and,therefore, incapable of loving.

[Humbleman]

I can’t speak for other people, my ex girlfriends would agree that a majority of the relationship they had with me was bad, but I never saw it as being bad. I saw these women as being spoilt brats who wanted what I couldn’t give them. My version of the relationship was different; I thoroughly enjoyed them, well what I got from them, the attention, care, sex etc. I held a disdain for the women when they used to start arguments and really insult me that bought my mood down into the dirt. Maybe your ex boyfriend is the same, maybe he isn’t? I don’t know, but he phones you for an ego inflation.

 

I have had three jobs, office work etc…I spent approximately two and half to three years in my first two and I have been at my current workplace for over a year. I am hoping to spend another year and half to two years gunning for my bosses’ job. The reason I left the other two jobs was that I applied for the position of head of one of the departments and the imbeciles rejected my application, so I handed my resignation in with immediate effect.

[Humbleman]

I agree with you Nemo. So called "narcissists" are just people with an overinflated ego. They are conceited and selfish and,therefore, incapable of loving.

 

Someone could argue that you are jealous of people who hold themselves in high regard. I’d sooner be egotistical than bitter and jealous.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

What was it that caused the drinking binge? Personal, job related?