A chance?

[sultry33]

Hi I dont really know how to word this..

just the title itself was hard enough;)

 

Some 5 years ago i met a really nice guy who was 9 years younger than me

he was 23.

We both was living the same life in that we liked to party alot..i was a dancer

so attended the club sometimes 4 times a week.

We kinda hit it off, had alot of good times and i really started to fall for him.

However i was on guard so kept him at a distance.. he then said he was a player which made me question what he meant how he felt etc.. so after realising that he was just drunk and maybe fantasizing that he was a player

i said we was not like bf/gf as in we only saw each other at club or after and maybe once a week.. we never went out for dinner..to the beach etc

 

Then i said if it didnt change it would have to end as i didnt want to be just fun.. so i gave him 2 weeks.. i didnt say that but it was a timescale i had in my mind..

 

So 2 weeks pass and we continued on that path..meantime im talking to a guy online and we decide to meet up.. i said all i want is fun..

he agreed as he said work commitments meant it hard for him to have anything else

I was upset at my kindoff party bf not commiting so i planned to end it 1st before i saw the other guy

 

Once i met the other guy we hit it off straight away and i had told party guy it was over.. he chased me and begged that he would change

I was listening to the usher song..let it burn and it was true of our relationship so i thought its for the best.. let him go

 

Anyway the thing with the new guy became very serious..but when i saw my ex it hurt me so much as i was really torn and i knew he was hurting too

 

I was with the new guy for 4 years and he was reason i came to love shack

 

but now i have seen my party bf 2 times..once just after my long rs broke down and i told him i couldnt talk to him about us..ie what went wrong etc..

i took his num but then deleted it as i was still hurting..

 

Now saturday night i saw my party ex and we danced and had a really good talk.. the charm an magic was still there.. im not even thinking of my 4 yr relationship anymore .. so we spend all night together

 

then today he goes home..comes back few hrs later..

 

he said on saturday that its great now we are back together:eek:

i thought where did that come from

but i think all them years ago i did make a real bad mistake

 

I neglected to understand his imaturatity and my lifestyle

I can say that at one time i deeply had feelings for him and it broke my heart to hurt him .. but i did what i thought was best

 

he has said he has changed..is more grown up and has always thought of me

 

do you think its possible to have a 2nd chance?

btw my kids adore him too .. my plan is to go slow and see if he can be commited if the time comes

 

scared but excited here.. sorry if it reads confusing

[Rafa]

Hi Sultry,

 

Sounds like he's got his hopes up already. I would tell him that you need to slow it down just a bit while you decide what you want. 9 years is a big age gap when the man is younger.

If you really feel like you're ready to get back into a full blown relationship with this guy and he makes you happy, then there's no harm in it, but he's obviously been holding a candle for you and this means a lot to him, so tread carefully so that things don't repeat themselves in the same way.

[sultry33]

Hi Sultry,

 

Sounds like he's got his hopes up already. I would tell him that you need to slow it down just a bit while you decide what you want. 9 years is a big age gap when the man is younger.

If you really feel like you're ready to get back into a full blown relationship with this guy and he makes you happy, then there's no harm in it, but he's obviously been holding a candle for you and this means a lot to him, so tread carefully so that things don't repeat themselves in the same way.

 

thanks;)

was thinking that too that need to go slow as if its going work this time then he needs to do the chase plus im in no rush:D

I find it hard to think about him as anything but casual but at same time i dont want serious yet.

 

Trouble is around me its hard to engage in any deep talks with him as he gets kinda nervous.. he did say he is amazed i agreeded to talk to him..messaged him etc and he is so pleased but im having trouble believing his words.

 

Maybe its because of my ex in that he lied to my face and destroyed trust i had in him something i have a very hard time giving anyway.. and this is why im not feeling it with the younger ex.. i dont know confusing..

 

For now im stepping back in not contacting him 1st etc..sent him a hi earlier on facebook buts thats all im doing;)

 

thanks for replying x