whichwayisup Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 F**khead..lol Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Perfect description of the jack@ss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 6, 2008 Author Share Posted November 6, 2008 Well that made me smile something I have not been able to do. I guess maybe xmm is right and this is all my fault, so if I walkaway he has nobody to blame for whatever trouble he will get himself into. i am sure he will be in this situation again, that is jut who is!! no empathy, no remorse, no guilt, and no responsibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I know this is irrevelant, but why would I get thrown out and his wife would forgive him. Why wouldn't my H forgive me and he get thrown out? Hi... I say this because I remember you had come clean with your H..right? Your mm w does not know about the A, she only suspected it, and ask you about it. I hink if you came clean with your H and he has forgiven you and is trying to make the m work this whole time he would be even more devestated if he found out you are back in the A. A BS cannot keep forgiving and forgiving... It would be your mm first time to be D. thats why i say she would probably forgive him for the first time, your H has already done that... Thats all. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I think Mino was trying to give you a worst case scenario to help snap you out of things hun. I don't think she was trying to be mean.Of coarse not... I have no reason to be mean to FF..I just know her story, and her mm has been a real jerk... ( sorry FF) Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Well that made me smile something I have not been able to do. I guess maybe xmm is right and this is all my fault, so if I walkaway he has nobody to blame for whatever trouble he will get himself into. i am sure he will be in this situation again, that is jut who is!! no empathy, no remorse, no guilt, and no responsibility. Am I reading this right... your fault? Honey he is a jerk... Didnt he move on to an different OW after you? pretty quickly if I remember, right after you broke it off... He is a serial cheater... dont fall for his S*** again... You were so strong in letting his worthless azz go.. You said you wanted your M to work... that I do remember.... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 this is all my fault No, it's not all your fault. It's partially his fault as well.. All you need to do is be stronger and DETACH, once you do that, care less and focus more on you and your husband, the feelings you have for the MM will disappear bit by bit...Though that will only happen when you're really ready for it to happen..To move on emotionally and never want a friendship, let alone an affair with him. Mino is speaking from her heart, so no meanness is meant to be there..Besides FF NEEDS to hear the bad stuff, worst case senario's that COULD happen. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Well that made me smile something I have not been able to do. I guess maybe xmm is right and this is all my fault, so if I walkaway he has nobody to blame for whatever trouble he will get himself into. i am sure he will be in this situation again, that is just who is!! no empathy, no remorse, no guilt, and no responsibility. You don't need to be concerned about the situation he will be in again, just be concerned with you and the situation you are in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 7, 2008 Author Share Posted November 7, 2008 I need some advice on the recent scenario. Today he came out and asked me if I wanted him to pick up my kids from school. He came out like nothing was wrong, when the other day he told me he was going to get kicked out of his house because of me so I said no and I raced over to get my kids. Well he was there and we got into it . (There was noone there-afterschool) I then tell him he is so full of it and I knew he would get back in his house and I will not forgive him for blaming everything on me. He then tells me his life is fine and that is when I unleashed. I said well if you are so fine why do u live in another room, why do you not have sex your wife, why do you drink all day. I said I am done and now you can go live your perfect life, but when it all falls apart u will have noone to blame but yourself. Everytime he tried to hurt me or maniuplate the conversation I jumped down his throat and did not back down. He has never seen that side of me and it shocked him. So of course he went from being a total a**, to trying to kiss my butt. When I got home he was calling me nonstop. This is where I am stunned and confused, please clarify. He said you are always so mad at me and you just want to hate me because it is easier for you and because he can't give me what I want. He said he will be at the coffee shop if I want to meet him and if I don't then I am the a**. He said he was sorry for what he did to me he is truly sorry. He said you know I am little messed up but I guess it does not matter to me. WTF? Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 7, 2008 Author Share Posted November 7, 2008 Mino I never got proof he was on to someone else. I had my suspicions and you know woman intutuion. Of course when confronted some time back he used the tired worn out line there was only you. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 You are the one with the messed up life not him. He could be but you seem far worse. For months people have been giving you great advice that you ignore. One second it seems like you are about to do the right thing and then BAME you are back to worrying so much about him. Give you family a break! Can you focus on anything besides this guy? Do you even care about your H and kids? God if I knew my wife was having an affair and using our children as a means to keep the OM around I would just die. Do you even notice how you put everyone behind him; you don't post in the infidelity or marriage and family forums you post in the OM/OW forum. Your self asteem seems so low that you are willing to destroy everyone around you for this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 7, 2008 Author Share Posted November 7, 2008 First off I have gone through many periods of NC and thought okay now I can be mature and handle a neighborly contact with him. So that never works and yes I do nto ignore all the advice. I am a very good mother, not a very good wife, but a very good mother. I post here because of the people on this forum who know me and my situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 7, 2008 Author Share Posted November 7, 2008 Obviously you have never been involved with a narcissist because if you had you would understand my situation a little more. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Obviously you have never been involved with a narcissist because if you had you would understand my situation a little more. No but I have seen women that have such a low self image that they will people make anything out of them. What does him being a narcissist have to do with how you act. You are a grown woman and responsible for your own actions; Stop making excuses for your behavior. Second a good mother does not use her children in this way. You are using your children as an excuse to keep this guy around even if you don't believe that. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 You are married, you have children, and you are a grown woman; his behavior should not influence you unless you let it. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 How old are you? This is nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Reggie are you asking how old I am or FF? Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 I need some advice on the recent scenario. Today he came out and asked me if I wanted him to pick up my kids from school. He came out like nothing was wrong, when the other day he told me he was going to get kicked out of his house because of me so I said no and I raced over to get my kids. Well he was there and we got into it . (There was noone there-afterschool) I then tell him he is so full of it and I knew he would get back in his house and I will not forgive him for blaming everything on me. He then tells me his life is fine and that is when I unleashed. I said well if you are so fine why do u live in another room, why do you not have sex your wife, why do you drink all day. I said I am done and now you can go live your perfect life, but when it all falls apart u will have noone to blame but yourself. Everytime he tried to hurt me or maniuplate the conversation I jumped down his throat and did not back down. He has never seen that side of me and it shocked him. So of course he went from being a total a**, to trying to kiss my butt. When I got home he was calling me nonstop. This is where I am stunned and confused, please clarify. He said you are always so mad at me and you just want to hate me because it is easier for you and because he can't give me what I want. He said he will be at the coffee shop if I want to meet him and if I don't then I am the a**. He said he was sorry for what he did to me he is truly sorry. He said you know I am little messed up but I guess it does not matter to me. WTF? FF , he is using the " poor me one minute and the I am happy as a clam the next minute, then he plays the blame game the next.. He sounds dangerous. This man has more personalities then you can keep up with... I am sure when his w yells at him he kisses her butt too. He is bored... He wants drama to make life more interesting. Your next door, so he figures he can play with you again..FF, do yourself a favor, get into IC..and really consider moving. This will never end until the s*** hits the fan. Do you really want all this misery in your life? He is a serial cheater. He has issues and lots of them. I dont think this R will ever go anywhere... he has never ever made even an attempt to come clean and move out.. and obviously he likes to torture you for s*** and giggles:( Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 You are married, you have children, and you are a grown woman; his behavior should not influence you unless you let it. She is not using the kids, he is...thats one of the problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 FF, one of the things i see here is you always REACT to him... He pushes your button and your done.. Maybe next time you should take a deep breath, THINK, and then RESPOND.. or even better IGNOR!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 FF, The thing I'm not understanding here dear is if YOU are unhappy with your H and he is unhappy with his W then why are you two not divorcing your spouses?? What are the reasons for staying? This A with him is going to go on forever.. and his W and your H are simply just beign cast aside here while you and this MM play a very selfish.. child like game. Someone is going to end up real hurt and I don't want to see that happen to you. So.. how do you plan to end this mess? I'm just trying to help..Know that. AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 She is not using the kids, he is...thats one of the problems. Actually it's only a problem because she allows it to be a problem. She is using the kids too. She doesn't want to hurt them. What does she think will happen to them when they find out mom is screwing with their friends father? Don't' you think they will be hurt then. FF has no intention of taking control, she is content to blow along with the winds and blame everything and everyone, except herself. I was married to a narcissist for most of my adult life. And they can't do what you don't' allow them to do. You walk away, especially when it is someone else's husband and someone else's problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 FF, once again I'm curious...things are bad in your affair, clearly. What about your marriage? Are you doing ANYTHING to fix things on that front? Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 She is not using the kids, he is...thats one of the problems. What do you call it? Anytime they go NC one of them ends up taking the others kids somewhere. If she really wanted NC she would keep him away from her kids. She has written threads on here about this guy for months but all of her post just show she is obsessed with this guy and she won't let him go. whether it was the thread about how the guy pretends to be her H friend or how he acts like nothing ever happened. She doesn't want the drama to end and she is willing to destroy everyone even her kids for her own selfish needs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 8, 2008 Author Share Posted November 8, 2008 Well today i took the first step.My mm wanted me to meet him today and I did not. I drove by where he wanted me to meet him and I saw his car in the parking lot waiting for me, but I did not go in. I am finally going to put my family first.If I would of met him today I would of gotten more of the same bull and nothing would change. I feel a little weird knowing he was sitting there waiting for me, but it is what is. Link to post Share on other sites
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