4givrnt4gtr Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Well, Ive posted here a few times about my friend...my good ol' friend. Ive posted about him before, but bassically, my ex bf and I broke up at the begining of this year. Ive sorta felt that my friend had some sort of feelings for me, but i wasnt sure. He and I have been very very close for years, and although he gets quite flitatious (and so do i) when drunk, i never took it as anything serious. In any case, i told my friend I broke it off with my then bf. He move back to our town and we saw each other a few times. In one of those times we ended up getting drunk and making out. I was really upset because I didnt want to lose him as a friend and knew that it was quite likely to happen. Well we didnt talk for about a week afterwards. During that week i questioned my feelings for this guy. For years ive seen him as a pesky cousin of sorts, who, although good looking i would never ever date. I found myself wodering and then brushing off the idea before i could even dare to examine how i would feel about it. Also the fact that he didnt contact me at all made me realize it had been just a random thing for him, nothing more. Anyhow, I ended up getting back with my ex, it seemed much safer. When i told my friend i had gone back he was a bit upset, said I was making a mistake. HE even asked me what it would take for me to break it off again. Anyway we kept talking once in a while, but he kept bringing up that night, which made me uncomfortable for some reason. I also told my then bf about what happened and he wasnt happy about me talking to my friend still. Because of all this I decided I didnt want to talk to him anymore. I told him I just didnt feel comfortable talking to him. He was REALLY upset, saying he couldnt believe i would throw our 5 year friendship out like that. I was so sure thats what i wanted so, no matter how much he insisted that I was being silly, i didnt budge. Still, two weeks later i was feeling rather weird about losing him. On top of that I realized my then bf was not what i wanted so i ended the relationship. I texted my friend telling him that he had been right. He answered by saying that he had asked me to not get back with my bf...and that I had given him up for a bad relationship. After that he didnt answer any more of my texts. I kept saying sorry, that i knew i had messed up, but in the end it had made it clear that iwas giving up too much of myself for something that wasnt worth it. He wouldnt have any of it (understandably). THe problem is that now im wondering if deep down ive always had feelings for him and now that he's pretty much gone Im realizing it. Even just this friday, I had a guy flirting with me all night, asking me out etc, and I really just wanted to be able to hang out with my friend... This is sooo messy. In one hand i hate that i lost my friend..in the other i REALLY dont want to like him like that at all....it just wouldnt work..plus i really dont think he sees me that way. I dont know Im so confused. I really dont know what to do...just let it be? thank god he is gone so that i wont get in even more trouble? I really dont know...help! Link to post Share on other sites
tonyp56 Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 OK, don't know how he tried to talk to you about it but you said he tried talking about that night and you told him you didn't want to. I would say that he did that because he was interested in you and wanted to know what you thought about that night and rather or not he had a chance with you... You didn't hear from him for a week and you didn't try to contact him? Why is it men are supposed to always be the ones that contacts women? You could have picked up the phone and text him, called him, e-mailed him, or just shown up at his place... He might have thought you'd be upset and didn't want to confront you or get yelled at when he did contact you... I mean you said you two made out so stands to reason, he was scared of what you thought about that. You blew him off and when it didn't work out for you and your BF you text him? What did you expect him to say? Only hope you have is for you to go to where he is and tell him you are sorry and that you have feelings for him... You've got to let him know you know you made a mistake blowing him off and a mistake because you didn't follow your heart and got with ex instead of him. Stop pretending and admit you have feelings for him too, if you didn't you would not be talking about it here... Scared that it wouldn't work? Did it work with your ex? How about others? How do you know it won't/wouldn't work with this guy friend? Does it really hurt to try? Let go of these feelings and just follow your heart. If it isn't too late, you never know it might be the best thing for you. Even if it don't work out, let your feelings out and put them on the table and at least see if he feels the same. If he does, then great, if not you'll have to look back wishing you had... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted November 8, 2008 Author Share Posted November 8, 2008 OK, don't know how he tried to talk to you about it but you said he tried talking about that night and you told him you didn't want to. I would say that he did that because he was interested in you and wanted to know what you thought about that night and rather or not he had a chance with you... You didn't hear from him for a week and you didn't try to contact him? Why is it men are supposed to always be the ones that contacts women? You could have picked up the phone and text him, called him, e-mailed him, or just shown up at his place... He might have thought you'd be upset and didn't want to confront you or get yelled at when he did contact you... I mean you said you two made out so stands to reason, he was scared of what you thought about that. You blew him off and when it didn't work out for you and your BF you text him? What did you expect him to say? Only hope you have is for you to go to where he is and tell him you are sorry and that you have feelings for him... You've got to let him know you know you made a mistake blowing him off and a mistake because you didn't follow your heart and got with ex instead of him. Stop pretending and admit you have feelings for him too, if you didn't you would not be talking about it here... Scared that it wouldn't work? Did it work with your ex? How about others? How do you know it won't/wouldn't work with this guy friend? Does it really hurt to try? Let go of these feelings and just follow your heart. If it isn't too late, you never know it might be the best thing for you. Even if it don't work out, let your feelings out and put them on the table and at least see if he feels the same. If he does, then great, if not you'll have to look back wishing you had... Well he wasnt really trying to talk to me about it, he just kept bringing it up, gloating about how I said when i was drunk that he was such a good kisser, etc, and then he kept saying that he was probably better than my then bf. Ofcourse I was going to feel uncomfortable about it...I really didnt want to hear all that. I actually did contact him, sent him a text message the next day after we made out telling him that i was sorry for the drama (i stopped him right in the middle of making out saying I didnt want to lose him as a friend and I didnt want him to think of me as a slut), and that I had a good time. He texted me back saying there was no need to apologize and that he had a good time too. After that I didnt hear from him and I didnt want to appear like i was hoping for more. I completely understand why he is so mad at me....i would be just as mad or even more. I have texted him several times, even kinda drunk text telling him how i miss him and how I wished he was there that night. I also called him and he sent it straight to voice mail..still I left him a message apologizing profusely about what i did, how much i regret it and how i want to talk to him about it. Still, he wont call me back. Now i really dont think it'd be a good idea for me to tell him i have feelings for him. At one point after the making out day he called me and asked me if i thought he liked me. I said that I didnt, and he said he was relieved because he really didnt, and that he just saw me as his "confidant", extrictly platonic. So, I dont know....thats where im at right now...i dont have any more ideas as to what to do. I miss him a lot...and I dont know what else i can do....this sucks Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted December 2, 2008 Author Share Posted December 2, 2008 Im still missing him....i dont really know what to do...wait? keep waiting??? or just giveh im up for good??? Link to post Share on other sites
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