My ex-girlfriend broke my "no contact" request? What now?

[BCCA]

If you don't mind, do you have an AIM screename? I'd like to be in touch if that's okay.

 

I just PM'd you. I use YIM more, just to let you know.

[pepper-c]

I'm 29, my ex just turned 21 and we broke up about a month ago ( a few days after her 21st b-day). We were together for 5 months and the first 3-4 months I was the most amazing thing in the world to her. I have a lot going for me (great family/friends, well educated, great job, nice place to live, nice car) and she comes from absolutely nothing. She always felt she had nothing to offer me as she is very insecure but I loved her personality and we had fun together. She does live an hour away though but she would always make the effort to come see me since she still lives at home with her mom in a bad envirornment (mom is drunk and abusive). I'd offer to go see her but she'd refuse. So i was her getaway.

 

I treat women very well and she was no exception. She was in an abusive relationship for 4 years and then her second boyfriend i guess was her way to forget that guy (not sure, I never asked only know he was more of a friend to her). I was her third and according to her, I was the love ofher life. Well, Just as BCCA said, the last month we were together she started causing fights out of the blue and accusing me of not caring or putting in enough effort. Finally, she dumped me (via email) and said that she still loved me and had feelings for me, however, "i don't want to do this anymore". She said she was in a rut (she had lost her car for an indeterminant amount of time) so had no way to come see me to begin with, but now started using the age difference as an excuse when it never bothered her before. Actually, she made a lot of excuses, ones that I have heard before when girls try to push you away when you did nothing wrong. My friends all say that she couldn't handle being with a mature, loving guy who treated her right because she is so insecure. She used to think that I was going to end it with her all the time for no reason at all. True this girl has some emotional baggage. She felt i wasn't giving her enough attention.

 

So the first week after the b/u I was floored and i begged and pleaded to come back...you could just tell her ego was getting a boost from my groveling and my ego was crushed. She initially said that she didn't want to automatically rule out us getting back together in the future, but she needed time. Said she wanted to be friends and still hang out and do all the same stuff together because she always had fun with me. But after one week, I told her we can't be friends now but maybe in the future. She agreed and wished me well.

 

3 days later, get a text from her. i don't respond. 2 days after that, an email from her...don't respond again. 2 days after that, another text telling me she got hired at her job full time and thanking me for me helping her with her interview. I just responded congrats. That was over two weeks ago. I have been no contact since. My roommate checked out her myspace page (i was never her friend) against my wishes and it says she is now in a relationship again and she was going out of her way to say how great this makes her feel on her page and how amzaing this new guy is. I was "amazing too" however, she did not change her status when she was with me until 2 months in. So it is obvious she is trying to sell herself on the fact that she is happy i'm gone and with this new "kid" who according to my roomate, is 22. And while closer to her age, she always told me she hates dating kids her age cause they are so immature. Listen, I'm sure she had this guy lined up before, if he even exists, but she swore up and down to me when we broke up that it was not about another guy. Obviously, this is a rebound anyway so who cares?

 

So fast forward to yesterday after 10 days of no contact and she emails me talking about the football game (we are both fans and i have season tickets...she is jealous of that) and she said she may drop by my office next week and then she said "SO I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO FACE ME SOONER OR LATER". This means that she obviously is getting her car back or has gotten it back because I know she was relying on her dad for rides to work because I work with her dad.

 

This just baffles my mind. She has no reason to come to my office (trust me, she wouldn't drive out of the way to see her dad when she can see him back at home) other than to see me. Why is she seeking me out?

I think she just wants attention, she loves attention...she even admitted it to me. But is my going NC bothering her that much that she has to ambush me at work what she sees as a safe place? One more thing...she hasn't seen me face to face since we have broken up and we've only talked twice on the phone since.

 

Listen, the point of my rant here is not only to get your opinions on the matter, but also to point out to the originator of this thread that girls will do crazy things to make sure you are still around even after they dump you. Depending on how insecure they are (my ex is extremely as you can tell) they still need validation that you care for them if they ever cared for you at all.

 

Between her advertising her newfound happiness on myspace 2 weeks after we b/u with a guy not even her type, her still trying to reach out to me and threatening to come to my office so "I HAVE TO FACE HER", and the fact that I am confident that I am a complete catch and it's her loss, I'm willing to bet that she is not handling me being out of her life very well. Still, I don't think she wants me back, in fact I know she doesnt....not at this time. But the day may come, it may not. I'm not waiting....I'm already out seeing other girls who are more my speed, more mature and who appreciate what I have to offer. I'm not worried, I know it will work out.

 

Wondering what you guys think of all this.