How to tell your parents your shacking up with a boy

[marley_86]

My bf and I have been living together since May. My parents don't pay for rent, or anything, and haven't come to visit me since I moved in. They have been mentioning that they would like to come and see the place.

 

My question is, how can you break it to them? I am 22 years old, and the bf and I have been together since Febuary of this year. I'm almost tempted that if they come over, to hid all of his belonging, and then tell them later he's moved in.

 

I know my dad will get quiet, and will take a while to get back to being comfortable. he always gets that way, and my mom could get angry.

 

I'm not religious or anything, it was a cheap way of renting a place, and we have kind of thought of a future together. I guess im just nervous about what they think of me. I've always been the reliable, responsible sister.

If I can prevent them from coming until next march, i can say he moved in to help with my recoporation from surgery, or to help me save for school even further. I don't think I can say i've been living with him since may, and just lied for months. That might hurt more.

[quankanne]

you moved in with this guy after only dating three months? I can see how your parents would be really upset, moreso than if he'd been your boy friend for a year or more and you decided to move in together ... because in that scenario, they would have had time to know him for the kind of person he is, and while they might not like the idea of shacking up, he would have already impressed them with his character.

 

best thing to do is to be honest with them. Tell them you and your BF have been living together since May, and you never raised the issue because you just weren't sure how to break it to them gently. They'll prolly react the way you imagine, however, if your guy is a decent guy to start with, they might focus on that, rather than you shacking up with him.

[greengoddess]

:(I think they are going to be hurt. Not that you moved in with a guy but that you felt you could not tell them and have lied to them and deceived them for this long.

Why didn't you tell them when he was moving in?

[marley_86]

Well because they wanted me to move back to the small town where I grew up, and I couldn't do it. I had 2 weeks to find a place, and this place needed no referrels, plus I knew our 1st roommate would eventually bail.

[Citizen Erased]

Just tell them quickly, you shouldn't keep it from them. It's too late for them to do anything anyway, if they're pissed let them calm down for awhile and it will be fine.

[marley_86]

I did it! I told my mom on the phone that he was moving in, and she said it's a smart idea considering I don't know how much longer my current roommate will stay (which is true), and its serious. (true also)

[leocell]

Sorry for this post, marley. I didn't scroll down to see the most recent post.

Well done! I am very glad for you.

 

If you are interested (although not relevent any longer) I'm leaving my original message below:

 

I feel for you as I have overprotective mother as well. I would be very much troubled if I were you to be honest, as I would expect them not to be too happy about the news and I wouldn't want to hurt them if possible.

 

However, I think they will know sooner or later - "later" means a longer suffering for you - hiding/lying is not the best solution and it tends to get complicated and gives you bad consequences (distrust).

 

I would suggest telling them as soon as you are ready, give yourself a week to prepare I guess and just call them and tell them the news. Not in a way to asking for permission (which I tend to do ) but just to inform them. It is your place and your life afterall. You are in control.

 

In any case, I hope that helps and all the best with it.