lovemyprof Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Hello all! I think I am in love with my prof. I was a new graduate student in a univ a few years back. She was teaching me a course in the first semester. I din't like her very much then. But now that a couple of years have passed, I am in love with her. I love her passion for the subject. She is not married (90% sure). I hardly speak to her except a few hello's and bye's. But, I secretly am getting fond of her as every day passes. She is a strict teacher. She is white and I am brown. She is not so very social either. Oh! she is not teaching me anyway. I am a research student now - in a field hardly related to her's but we are in the same department. This strong feeling for her is building up in me. I don't know what to do? Should I tell her? Should I just go on with this tremendous amount of emotion in me? Please advice & help me. Link to post Share on other sites
bright-amber Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 This may not be what you wish to hear,but theres a code of professonal enthics, whereby teachers are not supposed to get involved with their students,and for most they dont,as it leads to many problems. Theres a saying you cant help who you fall in love with,so i feel for you .but its probably more infactuation then love,an admiration,i would most certainly advise you not to declare your feelings,as most probably she would tell you in no uncertain terms,that she does not view you that way, which in turn will only make you feel worse, in the long term. iam a healer and a i give advise coupled with that,but i would never cross that line,or indeed even view someone half my age in that way,its just not the done thing. Admire from a distance,hopefully you will be blessed with meeting someone near your age group. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 My advice.. tell her and see what happens... If you keep this for yourself, it will only get worst and you will make all kinds of assumptions about her.. (you might read signs that are not even there)... this could be dangerous for you. So let it out.. and listen to what she'll tell you.. if she's not interested (which I think is what will happen) then move on... and forget about her.. this is probably what you need to hear FROM HER in order to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovemyprof Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 I want to...bt am scared to death as she is strict. I had written a couple of notes to her anonymously twice bt dint write my name. First one ws just a wish. The second one was to clear things like to make sure that she doesn't misunderstand me (the note writer) or get scared...or freak out.. was anonymous too... Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 I'm sorry, but that's just dumb! if your notes were anonymous, there's no way of telling how she felt about them - or you! The only way to get through to her is to reveal who you are!! I want to...bt am scared to death as she is strict. Forgive me for saying so, but this doesn't sound like a comment from a 24-year-old man. It sounds like something a 17 or 18-year-old would write. Same with the anonymous notes. It's not the kind of thing a mature adult would do, more like a teenager with a crush. Unless you're going to tell me you're particularly immature for your age.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Well anonymous notes don't count.. what are you expecting her to do about them? She has no clue where they're from.. You need to be honest about it and tell her face to face.. or put your name on the note.. She won't kill you.. all she can do is tell you that she's not interested.. then you can move on.. simple.. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 I think you should drop obvious hints that you want her... but do it in a way that if she rejects you it can be denied... Like I wanted to pick your brain about a few things... How about I take you to dinner... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovemyprof Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 Well, i know writing anonymous notes is not the best thing or the most matured thing, i was just trying to be a little romantic without revealing myself...thought it might brighten up her day...u know just in case... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 It could brighten up her day.. or it could annoy her. She could also find this creepy... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovemyprof Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 is there a very nice way to tell her...i am going to first, be very friendly and all and after that, i might just give her a hint about my feelings...howz that? I am really crazy about her. I am not being possessive and all but its just that unstoppable attractive force..Goddd....what do i do? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Just be friendly and 'natural' don't 'overdo' it.. First you need to find out if she's 'available'.. she might be married or have a bf.. Then you need to find the perfect timing.. when you're alone with her.. (no one around) .. tell her that you find her extremely attractive and if she's willing you'd like to take her out for a drink sometimes.. That's all... She should then tell you if she's interested or not.. Don't you have any slight idea that she might be 'interested' in you.. she might have already picked up from your body language.. ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovemyprof Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 Honestly, I have no idea. She might/she might not. I don't want to embarrass her/myself. You are right, I will just be friendly with her (naturally). Am planning to go and ask her a question/doubt. Hope to talk to her that way as I hardly speak to her. I need to be-friend her. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 OK.. so if you rarely talk to her.. then you need to 'check' the ground first.. don't come out to her with a 'declaration of admiration' etc.... You should talk to her every chance you get.. and you'll 'sense' if she's interested or not... Don't push anything if she clearly demonstrates indifference. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 BUT.. then again.. I've been 'approached' by much much younger men.. in quite 'agressive' way.. (not in a physical way) but the guy was clearly telling me that he was interested.. I like a guy that doesn't beat around the bush.. I find them extremely sexy and exciting.. but that,s me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovemyprof Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 Of course, I am not going to rush. But, I am not expecting her to show any sort of interest because we hardly talk. But, how do I get close to her? There must be a way. I want to touch the strings of her heart but in a very nice/casual way (as I don't want to rush at all). How do I do that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovemyprof Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 I am not "in" this American way of life, yet. I don't know clearly what might be the right way or the harmless way? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Well.. just approach her in a casual way and talk to her about anything.. she's not stupid.. she'll know you're finding 'excuses' to talk to her.. and if she likes that.. you'll know from the way she responds... then go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovemyprof Posted November 6, 2008 Author Share Posted November 6, 2008 I will do that...go to her with problems related to her field... somehow find some. But, then how do I take this thing ahead (thinking optimistically). Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I will do that...go to her with problems related to her field... somehow find some. But, then how do I take this thing ahead (thinking optimistically). WOW.. Love... just go with the flow.. and be 'natural'... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovemyprof Posted November 6, 2008 Author Share Posted November 6, 2008 Is there a chance that it might work out (that is, if she is single)? Oh you said that you were asked out by younger guys before, but was there an age gap of almost 17 years? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Is there a chance that it might work out (that is, if she is single)? Oh you said that you were asked out by younger guys before, but was there an age gap of almost 17 years? Oh my.. there have been sooo many... last year, a black male approach me in a quite 'agressive' manner... he was sexy and very attractive.. we cliqued instantly.. he was 29 years younger... I am seeing a younger guy from time to time.. he's 31 years younger... so 17 years, for me.. is nothing... She might be flattered and very 'excited' about you.. who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovemyprof Posted November 6, 2008 Author Share Posted November 6, 2008 What do you mean when you say "aggressive manner"?? Link to post Share on other sites
BareGoddess Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 What do you mean when you say you want to touch the "strings of her heart?" Just curious. Personally, I'd drop the whole thing. Most women in their 40's would not be interested in a 20-something boy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovemyprof Posted November 6, 2008 Author Share Posted November 6, 2008 I mean just that part of her mind/heart that would trigger some magic between us... Link to post Share on other sites
BareGoddess Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I mean just that part of her mind/heart that would trigger some magic between us... Well you first have to have some type of friendship don't you? I mean you said you don't even talk to the woman. Link to post Share on other sites
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