Lilly Posted October 31, 1998 Share Posted October 31, 1998 Dear people- I have a serious problem! I am so NOT a lesbian, and my boyfriend thinks i am...i do not understand y. he says i dont hold him as much or kiss him as much as i used to and that i hang around my girlfriends more than him...PLease help me...am I doing something wrong or is my boyfriend just a TOTAL loser? please w/b and tell me. Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted October 31, 1998 Share Posted October 31, 1998 hah....that sounds like one of two things. Either he is suffering from a brain tumor, or he is trying to cover his own ass. That is a pretty hefty conclusion to jump to, unless he WANTS to somehow push blame on you while he is off doing his own thing. In other words, this sounds like the kind of thing I hear when a guy is cheating and trying to distract from that point. He may have a legitimate concern that you aren't as close anymore, but I can't make any judgment on that issue. If this is a very recent change in his behavior and he isn't willing to talk about his concerns....maybe this relationship is on its way out. Link to post Share on other sites
JUSTAGUY Posted November 1, 1998 Share Posted November 1, 1998 Lilly, You really didn't go into much detail about your situation (ie, what it is that he actually says), so it's a little hard to speculate. However...my gut reaction is that he is trying to MANIPULATE you to respond in some desired way. As you go through life, you sometimes have to look PAST THE WORDS and into the MOTIVATIONS of those around you. WHAT is he saying? HOW is he saying it? And *WHY* is he saying it? Pay special attention to the *why* part. ('What is he--or she--trying to GAIN here?') Some people are straightforward, and you don't need to question them. Others, such as this guy, need to be scrutinized more closely. The biggest clue is often a sense of confusion over what they say and how you in turn feel. In your situation, if I had to speculate, I would say he is trying to coerce you into more physical intimacy via a CHALLENGE. There may be some desire for control, too. Perhaps he thinks that you will do what he wants "to prove yourself." Of course, he doesn't realize you're smart enough to seek out some "backup experience" like you've done here. But NOW you know better, right? Link to post Share on other sites
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