okletsplay Posted September 2, 2003 Share Posted September 2, 2003 I am not understanding the attraction of on-line porn. Weather it be an addition or not the question is why? I am a very sexy lady, that enjoys sex, loves my husband, and I am not that bad to look at! No I don't look like one of these porn hooches you see on-line, but I have not been kicked out of anyones bed for eating crackers! I even enjoy watching a little porn on TV with him when getting into the mood. But what I don't understand is why my husband who says that he loves me, and loves making love to me, he even states that I am more then enough if not to much for him to handle sexually, has to go on-line to watch porn! I have caught him three times and each time he keeps saying that it's not me, it's him and that he will stop. He even has said that he has a problem with it. I feel as if this is a lame excuse just to get of the hook. If I am desirable then why does he do this? I feel like such an idiot. I have even thought of going and spending money I don't have on surgery to make myself more attractive to him. I don't know what to do? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 2, 2003 Share Posted September 2, 2003 maybe because there's no commitment involved in gawking at pornography? You have images of stunning looking women (or men) that never change, they make no demands of you the way a SO does, and best of all, you don't have to worry about performance with an image. I haven't figured it out, really, but this seems to make the most sense of me after seeing so many postings on the topic. The sad part is, most people are willing to explore sexually with their partner should that person ask ... Link to post Share on other sites
hoopsy32 Posted September 2, 2003 Share Posted September 2, 2003 I can't really say not to worry about it because my sister and myself both know how you feel. My sister is way more prettier than I am and her boyfriend goes to Hooters and a strip bar every Wednesday (there are skanky hoes that are pregnant that strip), and she doesn't understand why he goes when he's got a bomb-shell at home... a lot of his friends also tell her they don't understand why he does it. I, on the other hand, still know what she goes through, but my boyfriend is not as near as bad as her's. My boyfriend doesn't look at porn as much as he used to, but it still bothers me because even though I'm trying to lose the weight I gained after I got back from my military training, I still think I'm good looking, but I think I'm not as desireable to him as I want myself to be. I just work out after class and watch my eating habbits, and once I get to where I want my appearance to be, and I still don't think he desires me as much as I think he should, then maybe I'll evaluate our relationship and see what values mean the most to us and where we really want to go. Originally posted by okletsplay But what I don't understand is why my husband who says that he loves me, and loves making love to me, he even states that I am more then enough if not to much for him to handle sexually, has to go on-line to watch porn! To answer that, I have asked guys and they say that they watch porn because it is something "different" than the same thing they always see... which that pisses me off, but I also think it is probably true. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted September 2, 2003 Share Posted September 2, 2003 Why? You're horny and you want a quick release (and to not worry about another person). Porn fires up the engines and wham bam, thank you hand. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted September 2, 2003 Share Posted September 2, 2003 if he has a problem he needs to get help. i think its lame that hes all up on the porn. but that is just me. when i am married i dont want porn in my house or on my computer unless its something special for me and hubby to watch together. put your feet down, dont let him cross your lines. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 2, 2003 Share Posted September 2, 2003 "...wham bam, thank you hand." hahaha I love it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 2, 2003 Share Posted September 2, 2003 I once wanted to be a porn star...but I couldn't pass the physical. I worked a short time at a tax preparer helping people fill out the short form before I took a job as a short order cook at Denny's. Link to post Share on other sites
lady_vampiress2003 Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 Pornography is as addictive as alcohol, drugs and nicotine. It causes actual changes to brain chemicals in the same way that cocaine does. It will not stop by itself. Just like addictive substances, you will need more and harder porn to keep the brain chemicals at the same level. Your husband needs to admit to himself first of all he has a serious problem which is not only affecting his relationship with u but he is also hurting u mentally, by being addicted to it as if it was a drug putting it b4 u, ignoring all ur needs for his affections, sex and attention and even romantic acts such a romantic dinners/baths on a regualr basis with u, which is esstential to keep ur relationship health and happy. so u need to communicate this to him and tell him everything ur feeling, and how its hurting u and effecting ur relationship and closeness and openesswith him since he is obviously lying to u and holding back things from u which is in effect lying and keeping secrets which is not only destructive for him cos his feeling ashamed and guity about it which affects ur closeness and communication with him, but also hurts u cos his lying to u which is destructive for a marriage. u need to for one make him see what his doing his hurting ur marriage and u and if he carried on lying to u and avoiding being intimate with u in everyway possible that u will get a divorce or atleast separate from him till he gets his act together, commuicate this to them not leaving things out, and make him see this isnt something small its hurting u and u feel not only neglected but unattractive and not good enough for him. what u need to also do to get things back on track is 2)see a councillor/therapist together and separatly to get the help he desperatly needs. 3)go to a church if ur a christian and start attending sermons/church atleast once a week this will help to bring god in ur life and help in getting rid of any spritual issues he has with this porn and his addiction to it usually is spritual as well as physical. 4)spend intimate time together just the two of u with out the kids. Whever its going out to a party, restaurant, making a romantic gesture such as make a dinner/bath bath together for u both under candle light, these are good romantic getures, going out, open communication and haveing fun together are very important in order to keep ur relationship healthy and stable otherwise u wont have that closeness, intimacy and attention to ur needs which u are obviously lacking. here are some sites I looked up which may help u and to help ur husband get pass this addiction, http://www.firesofdarkness.com/index.htm, http://www.firesofdarkness.com/This...of_the_Wall.htm http://www.firesofdarkness.com/Prayer.htm http://www.firesofdarkness.com/DearHearts2.htm http://www.no-porn.com/breaking.html http://www.sexualintegrity.org/addiction/ http://www.pureintimacy.org/online1/ Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts