called my guy friend he was dozing because he was up all night tue night :

[dakotamaiden]

this is the first guy friend ive really truly have had. sometimes we talk a 1 hr. i just called him we talked few min and then said he was going to bed . its 7 pm. hes been really busy at work, plus up all night ttues night. he works in trhe medical feild.

 

sometimes i get insecure, hes told me he likes me. we talk alot on phone. once a wk for like 1 hr. tonight only few min. sounded like he was dozing when he answered. how do i keep myself doubting his friend ship and feeling insecure at times. hes told me he likes me.

 

i like him, and want to be relly close friends. so i guesse thats why sometimes i fee insecure???

 

we have become closer in the 3 months i have known him. i have tyo jusst take it slow at his speed??

[amaysngrace]

You have to respect that the guy is tired if he works all night. Stop making this about you and give him some consideration.

 

Is he a liar that you know of? If not then give him the benefit of the doubt and let the guy sleep.

 

Why the need to make such a simple situation so complex?

[dakotamaiden]

no hes not a liar, he was tired, sometimes i just get insecure. he is a good guy and i dont want to feel insecure. i just like him alot and his friendship. how do i let him to know i really do care about him. without scaring him away. we just talk on phone mostly.

[amaysngrace]

You can show him that you care by being caring. If he's tired let him rest.

 

I understand the insecurity but you should really try to choose your battles about it. Let him sleep and let it go. It's a baby step in the right direction to be more secure in your relationship.

 

It's not his responsibility to make you secure. It's your job to control your reactions to feeling insecure. If you can get past this hurdle it will be easier for you when you're faced with the next time something like this arises.

 

Use your head and think "if he doesn't give me reason to doubt him I really need to stop doubting him".

[dakotamaiden]

thanks for your help. i need to do that and work on myself. he is a really great nice caring guy.

[Yamaha]

You can't hurry friendship. It takes time to bcome close friends and if you crowd him or want to much of him he might back off.

 

Are you concerned if you 2 get 2 close one of you might want more?

[dakotamaiden]

we do feel something between us when we see each other at work, but we havent acted on it. i would like more, but more importantly i would like him for a really good friend, but down the road if it developed into more than friendship that would be great too. and if it doesnt i will have a great friend.

 

ive just never had a guy friend before so this is new to me and iam in my 40's. when ive been with a guy it was always a sex relationship, i thought it was more than sex, but in the end it wasnt.

 

thats why this friendship iam developing with him is a whole different thing.

 

thanks for your advice. if theres anyone else out there that can give me some confidence and advice please do THANKS EVERYONE.