Relationship with female friend no longer platonic.

[Wolverine117]

Hi.

 

 

I have known a girl named Laurel for a long time.

 

7 years, in fact.

 

 

We've always been friends. In junior high and in high school. Only a day remains before we go to college. Yes, we are going to the same college. I am majoring in Computer science and she in Fashion stuff.

We've always been just friends. Then the other time i was with her i felt so weird.

 

 

We were together in my pool. In one of the dying days of summer heat.

 

 

Just hanging out as usual. She has been single for 3 months, having dumped her boyfriend Keith. He was cheating with her friend Karen. I was cheering her up. She spent the summer without a boyfriend. This is odd. Laurel is hot.

5'8, blonde hair, blue eyes.

Spending the summer alone is normal for me. I dont usually get girls. I still havent done anything even resembling sex yet. Anyway, we were just talking about stuff. As usual. She was saying how these days the good ones were either married or gay. I was listening. She went on saying how she wishes she could meet a nice guy.

I was angry cause i am a nice guy and i never ever get women. I was in l0ove with my friend Jessica. For a while. She dated a guy named Joao who dumped her after taking her virginity. I had been there for her. She never noticed me, though. I dont complain much but the nice guy thing is a sensitive area.

 

 

Laurel was playing in the pool and we were doing foolish water splashes and aqua battles. We were face to face. She kissed me. We kissed, actually. She started touching me, all over. I gasped and she stopped. Asking me what was wrong. I could not speak. She just left the pool.

 

I like Laurel a lot.

 

She is a good friend when she wants to be and most guys want her. I just dont know what to do. She says she likes me. Nothing would please me more but for how long ?

 

She usually gets bored fast. I know her. She has dumped guys who look like Brad Pitt must have looked when he was a teenager. I just dont think she really is serious. I talked to her and she said she thought i would like it and she says she wants to make me happy. In public she acts normal, in private we fool around.

I really like her. She told me to tell no one. I want to be with her more than anything but girls like her dont stay with guys like me.

 

I dont know what to do.

 

We are going to the same college and have some of the same classes. This is not helping.

 

Help ?

[Wolverine117]

Could anybody please answer my question ?

[dalmatianbaby]

Originally posted by Wolverine117

She is a good friend when she wants to be. She told me to tell no one.

 

Wolverine,

 

These two statements, in particular, caught my eye.

 

First of all, I'm puzzled by "a good friend when she wants to be". Someone shouldn't be your friend now and then, its an ongoing thing.

 

Secondly, I've personally been in the "don't tell anyone" situation before. Its not a pretty place to be. You shouldn't be with someone who doesn't want the world to know you're an item. Its a nice set up for heartache.

 

My advice is to ask her if she wants something real, something public with you. If she dances around the subject or says "she's not ready for that" --end it. College is great because there are so many neat people and you never know when Miss Right is going to walk into your life. Don't be exclusive to someone who isn't willing to be exclusive to you.

 

My husband was one of those guys who believed in the "nice guys finish last" theory...until I met him at the dining commons. It was magic in the making. 100% meant to be.

 

Keep yourself free if she's not willing to give you straight answers. You might end up finding the girl of your dreams and pass her up because behind closed doors you have this "relationship" with Laurel.

 

I hope this makes sense and helps even a little bit.

 

Dalmatianbaby

[Wolverine117]

Thanks.

 

 

Hope i am as lucky as u and ur significant other.

 

I start college on september 4, 2003 at 1 : 55 PM in Boston, Ma.

 

 

Wish me luck.

[Wolverine117]

Ok.

 

 

I talked to Laurel about our relationship.

 

 

She says to give her time. She told a couple of our close friends that we were together and swore them to secrecy.

I dont know, is that better ?

 

 

We are at school now.

 

 

We were taking the train home. She had her head on my shoulder. Some old lady said we made a nice couple. Laurel just smiled. We walked out hand in hand. Then we went to her place. Her mother saw us and said how was the nice couple doing.

 

Laurel started to deny it. Vigorously. Insisting it was all 100 % platonic. I just stood there. Her mother was just kidding but Laurel's denial made it look like something was going on.

To complicate matters, her younger sister said Ooh those two are doing it.

 

Laurel got angry.

 

 

She came to my place later and apologized and we kissed. She held me and said she liked me a lot but wants someone to be hers and hers alone. I want to be hers. God, i love her. We have classes together. She doesnt flirt with anyone.

Even when a supposedly good looking chap came to talk to her in Sociology.

 

She said she had a bf. The guy asked where is he and Laurel looked at me, winked and said very near. I really liked that.

 

She says she wants to keep it a secret until she is ready.

 

She isnt seeing anybody else. So i guess we're exclusive. I'm still a virgin, something she hasnt been since she was 14. She says she wants to "educate me."

 

I dont know, what do you think ?

[julietverni]

She says to give her time. She told a couple of our close friends that we were together and swore them to secrecy.

 

Well, sounds like she thinks of you two as a couple, but the secrecy thing is throwing me. You should just ask her why she wants to keep it a secret. And to guilt-trip her into talking about it, ask her "Are you embarrassed to be with me?" Whether you're really thinking that or not, no one can not feel guilty when asked that. And maybe it'll make her think, hey, I'm not embarrassed so why don't I go public?

 

Whatever you do, don't put all your eggs in one basket. If she wants someone exclusive, fine, but try not to fall in love unless you really think she feels that way for you. She sounds like a heartbreaker and most of the time they're not worth the cost of the heart.

[beenthereb4]

Wolverine,

 

She's playing you. You are a puppet on a string. You have to be a challenge.

Stay away from her. You are like her stuffed animal she sleeps with at night.

Available when she wants...not when you want. I am telling you... you are

heading for a broken heart b/c she knows how to play the game and well

too.