Argh, my girls annoying aunt

[matchbookromance]

My girlfriend lives nextdoor to her aunt's house. She has a problem with me staying over till late. My girl's usually alone cause her family went on vacation and she has school so she had to stay home alone. I'm always nice to her(the aunt), and I understand that she's just protecting her family but its getting annoying. I don't wanna create a problem between my girl and her amily or anything but I don't like how I know someone's always watching, i dunno if you guys get that but I don't like it at all... My gf says not to mind her but of course I want all of her family to like me. I've no problem with her parents and her siblings, only her nosey aunt. I dunno how to fix it, help guys. Thanks so much.

[Angel1111]

As long as it's ok with your gf's parents that you stay over (which would surprise me), then it's none of the aunt's business. The next time the aunt says something about you staying over, just tell her that you've cleared it with your gf's parents and they're ok with it. If that's not true, then you don't need to be staying over there. If it were my daughter, I wouldn't be ok with that.

[matchbookromance]

I go to church with her so her family trusts me, that's where we met. Just the aunt has trust issues. I wouldn't do anything to ejopardize my relationship with her family now, so we're not fooling around or anything until we get married. That's clear to us and we just like being together without having to do anything. The problem is that the aunt scolds her mom about me coming over, her mom defends me its sweet actually.

[Angel1111]

But what you're doing LOOKS bad. And, as they say, "Perception is reality." It's the perception of your actions that is causing the reaction you're getting. So, whether you're doing anything or not, it appears that you are. You're just giving people something to talk about....fueling the fire, so to speak.

 

It may or may not be any of her business but people see things, they evaluate, talk and gossip - that's the real world. So take it for what it's worth - if you're going to do things that look questionable or cause people to doubt your behavior, then accept the consequences of that.

[Ronni_W]

, her mom defends me its sweet actually.

So then, YOU actually don't have ANY problem. You are taking on the aunt's problem (trust issues) as if it belongs to you. It doesn't.

 

But. What led you to taking it on? Is there something (not related to fooling around) that you ARE feeling guilty about?

[matchbookromance]

Here where I live people are really overprotective .. Even her mom says not to mind her, i just want for things to be ok around everyone and I don't wanna create a problem. I don't have anything to feel guilty about. We just watch tv with her brother even and we just enjoy being together a lot. I'd understand if we're actually doing something haha but I guess she's just like that and if she knew me better, she'd treat me better as well..

 

Thanks for your replies guys.

[Ronni_W]

if she knew me better, she'd treat me better as well..

That is an excellent idea -- probably would help a lot if you two make the time to spend 30 minutes or so with her, every couple of weeks (or whatever), and give her the opportunity to get to know you better.

 

Could be she's just a little lonely, too, and uses whatever she can to interact with others -- even though how she does it is dysfunctional, it still gets her the personal contact (with your g/f's mom) that she may be missing.