geebz Posted September 3, 2003 Share Posted September 3, 2003 Well my now ex-girlfriend and I had just ended a 9 month relationship. To me, 9 months isn't that long. She lived across the hall from me, so we spent a lot of time together and didn't sleep one night without each other. Our relationship developed and progressed quickly, we fell in love with each other and everyone was just commenting how they could see "it". We were not only lovers but also best friends. Nothing mattered when we were together. However, the last 2 months of the relationship, we encountered fights that were over the stupidest things. We were both stressed out, not one was more stressed than the other. So in the final huge blow up, we decided that we need a break. I was for it as was she. However, I didn't realize what the break was going to be like at that moment. I went several days as a complete mess, vomitting, no appetite, no sleep, and thinking too much. We weren't talking much, for one, I didn't want to get in her way, she wanted space too. So we didn't talk much. We have seen each other 2 times in 2 months. We very rarely talk on the phone, if we do, we may fight or it's a quick conversation. Is time apart good? I've read, yes it is good, let things settle out. I've also read, the time apart trial thing is just a way to ease into the final break up. We've been back and forth on a roller coaster, confused, angry, and hurt. What to do? My feelings haven't changed for her, I want her back. I love her. It's not because I'm used to being in a relationship. I've been in them before, my longest one lasted 3 years and it was alright for me. However, this hasn't been alright for me. I've been taking the stance of, if she loves me the way she said she did, we'll be back together. When? Who knows? I guess. We're shooting to be friends over the break. It's been a little over a month now, but its just weird being her friend. Maybe it's my pass to getting back with her. Show her the reason why we fell in love with each other in the first place. Let me know your thoughts about the time issue.... geebz Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted September 4, 2003 Share Posted September 4, 2003 i think in the midst of yalls big fight, you lost the communication that you needed. if you two really love one another you can make this happen. i think taking a break is a bad sign! you need to ask her to either talk this out or maybe just move on. i wouldnt be able to deal with this stuff you are dealing with. key: COMMUNICATION. Link to post Share on other sites
sunnie23 Posted September 4, 2003 Share Posted September 4, 2003 i don't believe in breaks. it doesn't make sense to me that time apart can bring a couple together. i think the problem you guys had was there was no space between you during the relationship. being together too much can reak sooo much havok on a relationship....you lose your sense of identity, begin compromising yourself for the other, etc. if you're in school then just let it go. you'll find someone else in no time. it's funny. i rant on here that i don't get to see my bf enough, and i compare us to other couples i know who were/are like you, spending all their time togther. three out of four of those couples have split up, and every time i talk to one of them it's "i'm just realizing now how important it is to maintain my own space within the relationship" hang in there and remember that you'll get through this stronger and wiser. Link to post Share on other sites
Author geebz Posted October 29, 2003 Author Share Posted October 29, 2003 update... we're back together..we've been back together for a month... things aren't always the greatest but we are working things out. Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 well done you! let things happen naturally, and let go of any bitterness if you have any - good luck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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