cariney Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Hi, I have been married for around 4 y. I married my husband after getting pregnant with my daughter.. Unfortunately, I got pregnant and married not knowing the challenges I would later face. Now my daughter is 3y. and I don't feel love for her father. I have always been honest with him...he knows I don't love him... I stay with him for our daughter... What should I do???? I hope someone can shine some light into my very lonely and sad heart.... Link to post Share on other sites
RICKY7780 Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 hi, ill try to put my 2 cents in and see if it hepl you any. i too am here tryint to get help from everyone here. but ill try to help a little, so here it goes. i see where you can be troubled. having both parents together for a child is an important thing. every child should grow up with both parents because in most cases it provides a better enviroment and gives them lots of ways to grow up as a better person, but only when the parents love eachother fully. thats where ur situation comes in. if u say u dont love your husand then my advice is to leave him. you have every reason to put yourself through this marriage for your child but it wouldnt be right to you or your daughter. it will only cause conflict and make a negative enviroment for her. if you dont love him now then what makes you think youll love him later? if you stay together and lets say 4 yrs later u decide to really leave him then, then your daughter will be older and have more knowledge and feelings and it will mor than likely really effect her emotionally then and cause lots of pain for her. but leave him now and she is still young and it might effect her somewhat if you both seperate but she wil be able to deal with it better now rather than later. if you want things to work and you want to learn to love him then i suggest to go to marriage counseling. it will clear up alot of the issues and might bring out alot of things to help you and him. but as the old saying goes, "if momma aint happy, then nobodys happy." my advice may not be helpful, but like i said, just my 2 cents. best of luck and god bless. Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Agree 100%. I had this same situation with my marriage. We went to counseling. The counselor told us the marriage was over. She said she is pro-marriage, but this one is gone. As for the kids. She explained that children brought up in two happy households are much better off than children brought up in one hostile household. If you're thinking of your daughter (which you are and should be), go to a personal counselor and confirm that there's no chance you will begin loving him again. If and when you get that confirmation, end it ASAP rather than later when your daughter is older. She will adjust SO much better now, trust me. If your marriage is over like mine was and you stay in it, you will be hit with major depression as time goes on and your daughter will end up having an empty shell of a person for a mother. It could get so bad that you will begin not meeting her needs. You will stop helping her with schooling, you will stop playing with her, etc....why? Because you will be consumed with your own unhappiness. Then eventually, the marriage will end anyway down the road with a lot more damage done to her and you by then. Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted November 9, 2008 Share Posted November 9, 2008 Please check out the book "Fall in love, stay in love" Dr Harley. Also have a look at marriagebuilders.com and read ALL the articles. You will not regret it whether for now or forever. God bless! Link to post Share on other sites
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