silentcharon Posted November 9, 2008 Share Posted November 9, 2008 Hi everyone!!! I've been dating a guy for a while now. I have a couple of questions. I've known that he has been friends with a girl for a while now, who he hangs out with occasionally playing video games or going to live shows. I don't have a problem with their friendship- however, a few weeks ago, he told me that he has a feeling that she likes him more than as a friend and might want more. He said that he hasn't really told her about me, and is scared of telling her that he's not available. When he talked to me, he was sort of asking for advice as to what to do in this situation, he doesn't want to lose her friendship, blah, blah. I told him that I thought that he should just tell her that he's seeing someone. I am friends with some male friends who I *know* likes me, who have expressed their feelings to me and I told them that I wasn't available, that I was seeing someone. This hasn't caused any problems, I've been able to remain friends with these people and my bf knows it. So why can't he do the same? how can I convince him to just tell her? A few days ago, I told him that he was lying to her by omission and asked him to imagine the humiliation she would feel if she found out he was dating me much later, that she wasnt told for several months? I think that is much worse. I told him that I was trying to be really cool here, that I didn't want to be the naggy girlfriend who told him who he can hang out with or not, because I really want to trust him. I even thanked him for telling me about this situation. But I am starting to get to that point because he hasn't told her, I would trust him more if he did. How do I explain my feelings to him? He's not doing anyone any favors here! I posted this in the cheating section because I think this constitutes cheating to an extent. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatOneGirl89 Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 It's not really cheating but I think you need to straight up ask him why he hasn't told her. I think he may have some feelings towards her. You shouldn't be afraid to confront him about it. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 He said that he hasn't really told her about me, and is scared of telling her that he's not available. When he talked to me, he was sort of asking for advice as to what to do in this situation, he doesn't want to lose her friendship, blah, blah. I told him that I thought that he should just tell her that he's seeing someone. What is he afraid of? That she won't play video games and go to live shows with him anymore if she knows he has a gf? All the more reason to tell her, if the only reason she's hanging out with him is because she is interested! Poor girl has no idea. You gave him the right answer, the only answer. He should tell her he's seeing someone. Friends don't HIDE that from each other. Link to post Share on other sites
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