In search of biological father

[BadMan]

I don't know if this is the right place for this.

I would like to see or meet with my bioligical father.

When I was 18(17 years ago) he tried to look me up but my mother

wouldn't allow it. There has been no contact. About 2 years ago

my sister approached him and it was he that didn't want a reunion.

Should I pursue this? I really want to see what my biological father looks like

and inquire about his health to see if I have any surprises in store for me.

I guess I have some other brothers and sisters I have not met yet also.

I even know what town he lives in. He's about 3 hours away.

 

Really confused.

 

Thanks

[jalexy]

hmm....if he doesnt want a reunion then maybe you shouldnt make this a big deal. but IMO i think you have a right to know about his health and how it could affect yours. maybe request that yall meet just for coffee or something just for a little bit and let that be the end. but that is so hard. i wonder what anyone else in here would have to say about this since i have no experience in this area. i wish you luck.

[HokeyReligions]

As curious as you are, you need to be respectful of his privacy also. You might try to write a letter asking for health information or basic genetic information (what color eyes do you have? What color eyes do your parents have? Is there male-pattern baldness in the family? Any history of diabetes, cancer, etc.?) Try not to be emotional in the letter. You can tell him that you would like to meet him, but don't expect to develop a relationship with him, and that if he declines you will respect that. You might even ask if there are any other people on his side of the family that would be interested in meeting and talking with you.

 

Perhaps if you allow him time to get used to the fact that he has a daughter that is curious about him and does not want anything from him, other than information, he will mellow and come around to meeting you.