Depressed: I cant be friends she is too jealous and manipulative

[mryan]

Within the last week me a and girlfriend had broke up. Well I ended it b/c I dont trust her at all. We began seeing each other about 9 months ago. At first it started as flirting and then we starting hooking up (while she was w/ her ex) and then she broke it off w/ him to be with me.

 

Well about two weeks after she wants to end it w/ me because she started grieving. I told her that I didnt want to and that I loved her (which she was not 100% ready to hear). We then broke it off and then hrs later she came back cring, so we decided to give it a shot.

 

Well it was her last semester at college and she told me that she wanted to keep speaking to her ex. I thought that I will give her the trust and let her talk to him, but later I found out that she had sleep w/ him a few times. Well since I did not trust her I ended it. A few days later she stopped by and we began hooking up again, and we ended up dating again. Well as time went on she told me that she was beat as a child and her family life was very poor. I then started seeing behaviors that were violent, maniputive, untrusting, unloyal, EXTRMEMLY selfish....etc. Then my friends starting picking up and then they didnt want to be around her (nor me).

 

Anyways on top of all of this she has no friends (and hasnt her whole life). No social skills. But I mean beatutiful (9-10), which she used to get me to do things (by making me jeolous). She also a great side to her, see is so nice and into me that it is insane...i mean she would do anything. It was so bad sometimes it was too much. Well Im sure that you all can see that it was either too much or it was almost unbarable to deal w/. Well I got so feed up I told her that I loved her but unless she sees someone I would not see her anymore. I then began giving her stuff on battered children, and she did not take so kindly to it.

 

Well one day it got to the pt where she thought that I was treating her bad and I could not treat her the way that she wanted (which is ATTENTION at all times) and she left. I then spoke w/ her a few days later and I thought maybe if I treated her better that she would act differently. Well she didnt, I found out that she was prosureing this guy that she had a crush on in high school (who made fun of her, wonder what shes looking for?).

 

Well I asked her about it, she lyed once again, and so I broke it off. It has been a week now and I am starting to doupt myself. She wrote me an email saying that the reason that she was lying a cheating was b/c I didnt treat her right and b/c I forced her to love me (which is right b/c I did push hard, but she did to). I know in the back of my mind that HER actions caused the way that me a my friends treated her, but I am not so sure anymore.

 

The bottom line is that she has issues that cause people to want to get away from her and b/c of that she gets treated negitivity by most people around her. I love her and I want to help her, and she keeps telling me she wants to get help but is not taking the steps to do so. Should I just not speak w/ her anymore?? I cant be friends she is too jeolous and manipulative.

[Nazima]

Let's see, as I see it her bad points are: she cheated on her ex, she cheated on you with her ex, she's violent, manipulative, untrusting, disloyal, selfish. She starting chasing another guy as soon as you dumped her and lied about it. She refuses to get help for herself. And you also say she is jealous. Good points: she's pretty, and she's nice to you sometimes. I think you can do the math from here.