whats happening to us....

[sabrina]

I have been with my boyfriend almost 2 years and I know I want to spend my life with him. I am 19 already in college.

 

He is 19 and will be moving about an hour away next month , and next fall will be attending a city college and also having a 40 hr work week.. We have had breakups in the past and it is always him saying he doesnt know what he wants and that it will be too hard to be serious in college. Well, every time we get back together in a few days or so. and he treats me like gold.. Says that he learned his lesson and that He knows he wants to marry me someday.

 

Now he is going through it again. and I cant believe it because I know he means the things he says. and I just wish he would talk to me and figure this out instead of ignoring me and trying to on his own... Please I love him and I dont know what to do.

[Tony T]

In responding to posts sometimes, it is as important to pay attention to details that aren't revealed by the writer as well as the ones that are.

 

My guess is that you are putting undue pressure on this guy. My gosh, you both are only 19 and have very long lives ahead. I know you want to spend the rest of your life with him, so if you love him and want to do that how about for now you give him soom room and breathing space to be a 19 year old college guy.

 

He has told you he doesn't know what he wants...but I can speak for him and tell you that he DOES NOT want you to continue cornering him about this relationship.

 

For many, college is a time when social pressures become very strong. The guys want to drink, break into girls' dorms, party, become active in sports and all kinds of things. Your boyfriend is no different.

 

You need to sit with him calmly and learn what he is looking for in life right now...and let him have it. Don't try to steal it from him because in the end you'll be the loser. Your college days come only once. His full time job will take enough away from his experience. Be a plus, not a minus for him!!!

 

There's no telling where this relationship could go but, for your sake and his, I hope this is a match made in heaven. But the flip side is that both of you are at an age where you could meet many nice people over the next few years. Don't freak out about that...it's just a fact.

 

Considering all the possibilities in life for both of you in the coming years, your odds for keeping this guy are much greater if you let off the pressure, be supportive of him, don't be his shadow, don't insist on hearing from him every day, and let him be the 19 year old guy he was made to be.

 

If I were him, a great foot massage when I got home from work once in a while would ensure I would love you for all time.

[Delissa]

You are too young to make a decission like that. Girl you need to go and get yours. By the time you are 25 you are going to want something different. Dont even go there! Believe me I am 27 and I am going through alot of changes.

 

The world is just a big ass place to ##### up in it!

In responding to posts sometimes, it is as important to pay attention to details that aren't revealed by the writer as well as the ones that are. My guess is that you are putting undue pressure on this guy. My gosh, you both are only 19 and have very long lives ahead. I know you want to spend the rest of your life with him, so if you love him and want to do that how about for now you give him soom room and breathing space to be a 19 year old college guy. He has told you he doesn't know what he wants...but I can speak for him and tell you that he DOES NOT want you to continue cornering him about this relationship. For many, college is a time when social pressures become very strong. The guys want to drink, break into girls' dorms, party, become active in sports and all kinds of things. Your boyfriend is no different. You need to sit with him calmly and learn what he is looking for in life right now...and let him have it. Don't try to steal it from him because in the end you'll be the loser. Your college days come only once. His full time job will take enough away from his experience. Be a plus, not a minus for him!!! There's no telling where this relationship could go but, for your sake and his, I hope this is a match made in heaven. But the flip side is that both of you are at an age where you could meet many nice people over the next few years. Don't freak out about that...it's just a fact.

 

Considering all the possibilities in life for both of you in the coming years, your odds for keeping this guy are much greater if you let off the pressure, be supportive of him, don't be his shadow, don't insist on hearing from him every day, and let him be the 19 year old guy he was made to be. If I were him, a great foot massage when I got home from work once in a while would ensure I would love you for all time.