Sands_of_time Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Skin- I haven't posted in a while but still following along with you. I think the others are dead on. Bite down hard, strap your dresser to your back, open the front door and announce proudly, "I'm baaaccckkkk!" I don't think she is necessarily thinking of how she is going to screw YOU over. YOU aren't her concern. She is thinking about how she can get the most for HERSELF. And unfortunately, you are just the mechanism to which she needs to master in order to get her desired result (just like me, gunny, nm, PP..and all the others that are posting, our X's did/is doing the same thing). Don't let her manipulate you, brother. You have to get tough--and stay in tough mode until you are in the clear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 Well wanted to update everyone... I have a meeting with an attorney on Wednesday to discuss my options....... I have closed all the CD's that we shared... when she found out she was livid....... I laughed at her and it pissed her off even more.... After one of our talks she asked about the taxes and i told her I wasnt sure what I was doing......... Well the dumbs%%t decided to tell me that she would use our home equity line of credit to pay it...... LOL... well first thing Monday morning I put a hold on that bad boy and she cant do a damn thing.... I haven't mentioned it to her I will wait till she files and tries to use it ........ Big surprise on her part... I love it guys and gals.. she wont even acknowledge me.. when she dropped off my daughter on Friday i commented nice day for the convertible... she walked away and didnt say a thing... man i can tell i am getting to her today she ignored me again when i dropped her off........ I love it after all the crap she has put me through I can at least get a laugh or 2 out of pissing her off.......... Vacation starts on Friday. 10 days i will be drinking good Porters and Stouts from some of Calirornia's finest breweries......... will keep you all posted........ Link to post Share on other sites
n9688m Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Good moves - but much more importantly, you need to move back into your house. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Good moves - but much more importantly, you need to move back into your house. Well to be honest N9 I dont think I could move back in... She would do everything in her power to provoke me into doing something I would regret and at this point I dont think I have the will power to avoid a confrontation........ thats the only reason I am staying away... Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 skinman- great to see you're getting a set of stones! Woman still don't know when to keep her mouth shut,but it's working to your advantage.this is getting better than daytime soaps:D Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 skinman- great to see you're getting a set of stones! Woman still don't know when to keep her mouth shut,but it's working to your advantage.this is getting better than daytime soaps:D yes it surprised me when she said that.. I had forgotten all about the line of credit.... its ok she wont be using that now.........she is getting hard up for money..i know that for a fact Link to post Share on other sites
scoot Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Man I love this place, I was awarded primary care of my kids after my 1st marriage. It was without a doubt the singe hardest task that I have ever done in my life. I had moved from my home because she kept leading me on with all will be well and we'll get back together BS. I was a sucker and fell for it all while she was doing a trucker and telling the kids he was their new dad. I had to prove that a. she was crazy and b. that I was the real deal. She made the crazy part easy to prove and I made the good dad easy to prove. I can still remember the day I was at trial and I could say all my kids favorite books that I read to them before bed,Hell I knew all the words I had read them so much, and I new what size clothes they wore ,and that I cooked and these were their favorite meals. I proved with pictures that they had a home with their own beds and all their toys. I was awarded primary care in the fall of 1996 my kids were 2&4 at the time and today my kids are teenagers and they still live with me and go visit their mom, she has been on full disability SSI "mental" since 2000. I did the right thing and I have never regretted it. Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 There's nothing scarier for the Robin tugging a tail from the soil than to hear the ground growl at it's feet! There's be a change in venue for bird's on the menu! Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 Well everyone......... My vacation is upon me... 10 days I will be away from this place and all the problems that have plagued me over the past few months..... I am looking forward to the time away and returning with a positive outlook on the next chapter in my life....... I will write when I return from California......... God Bless you all.......... Skin........ Link to post Share on other sites
in a daze Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 have a fabulous trip!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Have fun my friend!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted March 28, 2009 Author Share Posted March 28, 2009 Damn...go away for 10 days and you find yourself on page 3.....that goes to show you just how many people are goinng through the same BS... Well I celebrated my 44th birthday at home dead tired from my trip to California... flew in on the redeye and paid the price... to be honest its the only birthday I can remember being alone and I was fine with that... sadly one of my cats i have had for almost 15 years passed away the day before i got home.. that made me sad... that was until I told the P.O.S. would you believe she had the nerve to blame me for the cat dying of lonlinesss... thats pretty sad if you ask me......... enough about the bull ****t from the P.O.S. I had a pretty good time in california.... there were moments when i missed her being next to me and remembering all that we shared out there.. but this time i made new memories without her... I went to Monterey Ca. and had a great time.. drove along the 17 mile road and went to Pebble beach golf course..... I tell you all there were houses bigger than the building I work in along the fairway... i had the pleasure of walking next to Elephant seals bigger than 2 of my cars.. its was pretty cool Must be nice maybe next life I will be able to enjoy the luxuries that some take for granted.... after all of that the P.O.S. brouht me back to the real world... She left today for a week in Argentina With her boyfriend..... I wont lie to you all but that hurts knowing that she is with him when i was there the whole time she worked to earn that trip for us....taking the girls to do whatever they needed being a father to them......while she worked..... look where I am now......... I dont want to say that I am bitter but it does hurt some knowing that I should have been with her......... Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Bad news Skin, sorry to hear your STBXW will be enjoying Argentina without you. I KNOW how that feels and it's pretty crappy. There's no good side to it. It's just one of those things you have to live with, get past, and accept. Things are getting better though. I remember how you were feeling 4 months ago, you've come a long way. Keep on plugging away, I hope that the future is bright for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted March 28, 2009 Author Share Posted March 28, 2009 Bad news Skin, sorry to hear your STBXW will be enjoying Argentina without you. I KNOW how that feels and it's pretty crappy. There's no good side to it. It's just one of those things you have to live with, get past, and accept. Things are getting better though. I remember how you were feeling 4 months ago, you've come a long way. Keep on plugging away, I hope that the future is bright for you. Thanks LD.... I know in the end I will be a much better man than when this all started.. thanks to people like you buddy....your right it does hurt but I know that I will be fine when all is said and done............. Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 I'm sorry about your pet and I empathize with your emotions regarding the trip you'll miss to Argentina but, believe me, your joy in California weighs heavily upon the mind of your stbx for she has already shown her cards by attempting to project her own loneliness, jealousy, and unhappiness upon you by proxy of the cat's demise. She has been contemplating a mind game to exacerberate you ever since you left on vacation but don't fall for her tricks! Proceed brutally with your plans for divorce (and hope she hasn't already done the same thng while you were gone) to ensure that she is as bereft as bereft can be when you act and execute your plan. Maybe you might throw a few twists in the original plan that will ruin her vacation once she allows her new MM to get wind of it/them! THERE'S NOTHING LIKE BAD NEWS THAT WILL POLLUTE GOOD NEWS TO MAKE ALL NEWS DIRE WHEN YOU HAVEN'T ANY CONTROL OF HOW THINGS PLAN OUT IN YOUR ABSENCE! Now is the time to ruin the fantasy vacation that you planned long ago with/for your stbx and draw her attention to foreboding omens of a conscience wracked with anxiety of repercussions yet to come! In the mean-time in between-time it may be in your best interests to review all the provisions that were in place prior to your sojourn to ensure that she hasn't stitched any nasty surprises for you while you were away! Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 might be time to file those taxes you've been holding off on. give her a welcome surprise. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 could give her a welcome present,have those taxes done,all by yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Document this - That she went away with the OM on holidays... Enjoy the time with the kids. FORGET about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 Document this - That she went away with the OM on holidays... Enjoy the time with the kids. FORGET about her. Thanks WWIU... but to be honest there still are times when I find it hard to forget about her... I have been feeling so much better and stronger lately but there are moments when a thought will enter my mind and I will miss her and what I had.. I know oneday I will have it again but there is no rush as far as I am concerned.. I am enjoying as much time as I can with my 2 biological daughters and granddaughter..... It saddens me that my stepdaughter has written me out of her life.... its been a couple months since I last spoke with her and then she called me an f-ing a-hole...... Thats all it took to figure out where I stood..... I will be filing my taxes tomorrow night a day before th P.O.S. gets home from her trip... its to bad she is out of the country I wanted to call her and give her the good news.......its hard to belive It has been 5 months since this crap started... 7 more to go and they will be so much easier than these 5 have been........ I went out and bought myself a bike tonight so that i cant get into better shape and enjoy the weather.... fishing season is almost in here in Va.. something that will definetely lift my spirits up.... nothing better than standing in the middle of a river listening to the rapids rush by and the occassional bird chirp... something I have missed... Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 I'm not sorry your suffering Skin ! It's a natural process. You really haven't been in your situation very long. Believe it or not I "missed" my ex for 2-3 years, waking up in the morning, saying things like "I'm so sad" to myself when I got out of the shower. You have tons of time invested in your failed relationship. It's going to take mucho time for your mind to reprogram naturally to a whole new way of life. Hell it's been 8 years for me and occasionally (very rare) my mind will play a trick and I'll dream of her. Happily it doesen't bother me anymore and hasn't for many years. I never had a problem with being patient and allowing things to "unfold" at their own pace. Maybe that's was the wisdom of a Geezer. You have to work hard on becoming more patient. You are on the right track now. Kust remember to keep your head off the rails. Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Searchlight have you read his entire thread! Skin, you will never ever get rid of the stink of her being for it has been ingrained far too deeply within your psyche. If your stepdaughter has rejected you it is because she is protecting herself from the pain of her loss and has adopted the mentality of her mother. Now is the time to strengthen your bond with your biological daughter for you'd better bet that your stbx has been poisoning her mind against you in favor of her own mindset and agenda. You should also consider tactifully telling her the truth about the split-up and the reasons behind it if she is old enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted April 4, 2009 Author Share Posted April 4, 2009 Now is the time to strengthen your bond with your biological daughter for you'd better bet that your stbx has been poisoning her mind against you in favor of her own mindset and agenda. Well during all of this I have made sure that I spend at least 4 days a week with my daughter... She calls me every morning before school and each night before she goes to bed... I dont think her mother could poison her mind at this point because she is such a daddy's girl. You should also consider tactifully telling her the truth about the split-up and the reasons behind it if she is old enough. She is almost 13 so I am not sure if she is old enough just yet but I have told her on numerous occassions that her mom was the one who wanted to split up the family that I never wanted this... I told her I wanted to try and save our marriage and she understands that.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 Well I wanted to update you all on my situation.. Sat down yesterday with the P.O.S. for about a half hour going over a property settlement...It was actually very civil... you all might ask why... she is desperate and running low on funds... Her reality of the grass is greener has turned brown to say the least.. She is still trying to persuade me to file my taxes with her... little does she know that I have already filed used all the interest on the home loan not to mention the persoanl property taxes... I left her with the girls and HOH... its the least I could do... ... I have decided that I will most likely give her the house in the proceedings... The property values in our area have plummeted so much it would be a wash......... the good news is I will have her sign away any claim to my 401k which has actually made money over the past few months... Still its hard letting go of something that I have put so much work into and watch her enjoy it... Not sure how long she will though....her business has taken a beating like everything else in this economy... My spirits have been high for the most part.. still have my moments of reflection and sadness but with time they will go away... just wanted to let you all know that i am hanging in there and making the best of what I have been dealt... there is hope yet that when all is said and done I may come out of this better than I could have hoped for..... Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Skin, you typed: still have my moments of reflection and sadness but with time they will go away... just wanted to let you all know that i am hanging in there and making the best of what I have been dealt... From your tone buddy I would say that those feelings are already going away. Good riddence. I'm pleased that you went ahead and did what was best for you tax wise. That was a big step. It feels good when you drive instead of ride doesen't it? The Grass is always greener until the snow begins to fall..... Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 No the grass is greener until the bullsh*t isn't spread on it anymore... Good to hear things are starting to turn the corner for you. One day something will hit you & that will be all it takes, you will be done....For me it was signing the papers the ex filed.... Each step just gets you closer to freedom.... Link to post Share on other sites
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