kinda over this issue

[DuhDiDi]

can anyone relate to this?

Ive known this kid since i was in the 7th grade. We became really good friends over the next 2 years, even after i had left to spend my freshman year of high school in Pennsylvania at my dads. I had absolutley hated it there, and went through a phase of isolating myself from everyone - and he made an effort to call me during the week, just to check up on me. I came home after 10 months, and we spent the whole summer together. School started and now we have 2 out of 4 classes with each other. so i still see him everyday. He is really my best friend. I know its nieve, i mean im only 15, and to think that we will stay this close forever... i can only hope. a little while ago, i found myself getting more attached to him. We were even dates for homecoming. After debating it, i decided to see where we stood on the subject. (I had talked to a good friend of both of us, and she told me he said that "he would date me, if were werent so close..." but i still keep this fact to myself.) so i brought it up one day while having 'girl talk' and he justified that we were better off as friends, because nothing lasts at this age and he dosent want to risk ruining what we have already. He never straight out told me 'how' he felt, he just told me his take on my feelings. It wasnt until a few weeks ago that i had gone over to his house and heard anything more. That day he had mentioned that he "needed to tell me something, but it was difficult." and that night, when it was just me and him, he told me that he 'saw me in that light too.' but then he went on to say 'that he dosent know if hes ready to trade his best friend in for a girlfriend.' at this point, i was speechless. This was new, learning that i liked someone who liked me back. I had denied all fact those feelings could exist in him, until he said what he said. I figured since he just wanted to 'Tell' me this something, it was okay not to discuss it further; secretly because i wouldnt know how.

so this is where we stand. I dig boy, boy digs me. Boy is afraid to persue anything further, but Girl thinks that life is short and it feels right, so why not?

I think i would regret not being with him in the future, looking back at what we have, it seems like a new door has opened for us - but were not willing to walk through it because we dont want to get our socks dirty.

but see, my question is... is that right? normally im indecisive, but with this im sure. Im falling for him, and id be okay with the change. But im letting him call the shots because ive never been in a relationship before. should i take charge or something?

i dont talk to friends about this, because we know the same people. and im afraid that it would be akwerd for them to play matchmaker. we are asked frequently throughout the day if, when, or why-arent we dating... but only by those of lesser importance type buddies we hang out with.

and still, the resonse is always "were just good friends."

soooo i dont know...

help?

[4givrnt4gtr]

Well to be honest your friend sounds like he really really cares for you, we should all be so lucky to have friends like that. Look at it this way...he is willing to forgoe the perks of having a girlfriend in order to make sure you are in his life longer than a possible relationship would allow.

That my friend, is priceless...

Now, also note that he is showing you a degree of maturity that at your age is really rare...he is bassically telling you he isnt ready for a relationship and much rather keep being close to you, probably until you both are ready for that responsibilty (and I do realize a relationship might not seem a responsibility at your age...but trust me, it is).

 

Now i get the whole "life is too short" concept, however, believe me when I tell you, its going to look long and painful if you lose this friend to try to have a relationship. I say take your time, still hang out, and allow your feelings for each other to grow without the pressures of a relationship. If it truly is strong for both of you, it will come a time when neither of you will be able to ignore it or even have the option of being just friends. In that case then by all means go ahead...but dont pressure him into something he isnt sure about just yet...be patient.

 

Good luck!