Can't get my head around this!

[Sharna]

I met someone through a sports forum. We debated a few things and after incessantly argueing with him for a while he wrote me a private message. I thought it was strange but I responded because the message was nice and I would have felt rude by not replying.

 

So we talked online for about 6 months and then I had the opportunity to visit his country for a conference. We met up and spent an AWESOME week together.

 

He has a phone plan now which lets him call me for free so he has been calling me since i returned at the end of September.

 

Lately though I've noticed him distancing himself more and more from me. At least i think so. When he first called me we could talk for ten hours a week wihtout meaning to. Now i barely get a short message from him at all.

 

I am worried because he is quite affectionate over the phone and insists on calling me hun and babe and comments on how compatible we are. At the same time he says I should only think of him as a friend because nothing more would ever be possible.

 

He uses the distance as a reason for this but he knows I might have to relocate for work anyway. He has also said that he doesn't want me to think of him as anything more because men will have sex which is just sex whether they like the person they are with or not. He said he knows he could ask me to be faithful to him but I wouldn't know if he was sleeping around so to ask to be more would just be him trying to control me.

 

I find it so confusing though. He is meant to be visiting me for a month in March 09 but it is too easy for me to have feelings for him that i shouldn't. I don't think I can just use him as a fling for a month and talk affectionately over the phone all the time and come out of it ready to date other people when he's not around.

 

He has said before that he is not very confident and he doesn't get out much because he had cancer for a few years and has sort of been a bit of a hermit since. The way he talks I sort of get the impression he might see time with me as a self development project rather than anything genuine.

 

Opinions, advice, any comments ????????