What constitutes "long distance"...?

[Inflikted]

Heh, let me start off by saying, this is basically about a girl I may potentially be very very interested in. Yeah, that sounds a bit bizarre, I know, but it's just, the situation is really complicated; that's a whole other issue, though. Anyway, recently, I've just kinda been thinking about what things would be like if we DID get together. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, doing that, but here's the thing; there's a bit of (geographical) distance between her and me, and I think I'm just wondering about how well I'd be able to cope with it. What I'm wondering is, generally speaking, how far apart does "long distance" usually mean?

 

See, here's my situation. This girl lives about 15-20 minutes away; yeah, that's not really long distance at all, but there's more to it... During the school year, she goes to a college that's about 1.5-2 hours away from where I live. I'm sure she probably visits home every now and then, and I know that during summer (and sometimes on other extended vacations) she comes home. I dunno, that "1.5-2 hours" doesn't seem THAT bad of a distance, to me, but at the same time, her and I both have college classes and part time jobs, so... The other thing is, if we DID get together, she's still got 3 (well, 2, by the time this coming summer rolls around) years of college left, so the distance would have to last at least that long. Add on the fact that I don't know what she plans to do after finishing school, whether she'll come back home and try to build a career there, or whether she'll move even farther away...

 

So, I know, this whole thing is REALLY situational, and it'd be too hard to make any kind of guesses, because it would rely entirely on how well her and I would handle it. But I guess I'm just kinda curious, and so I'm wondering, does that whole situation I've just described sound doable to you? Or would it never work out? Or what? Again, I'm not expecting anyone to accurately make any kind of predictions, or anything like that, I'm just interested in seeing other peoples' points of view on this situation.

[Ronni_W]

The circumstances sound totally doable, if both participants are willing to do it.

What is gonna crock it up is if you get into the relationship and just keep focusing on all the possible FUTURE problems, crises and negative crap that may (or may not) arise.

If you're gonna freak-out whenever she's a minute late with her call, or EEEKKK! misses it entirely...then it's NOT doable at all. But kinda wouldn't matter if she was right next door, in that case.

 

So...go for it -- ask her a bit about her short-term and longer range plans, at least -- and quit all your mental machinations that are gonna crock it all up!

[Inflikted]

Heh, well, it's not that I'm typically that kind of high maintenance person, I've just never had a "long distance relationship" before, so lately, as I'm getting ready to attempt to move things forward with this girl, I've just kinda been wondering how I'm going to deal with it and make it work, if that's the route I want to take.

[Ap2luv]

I just joined in search of someone with the same situation as me, to see what kind of experiences they are having.

 

I just got out of a 4 year relationship with a girl I started dating in high school about 2 and a half months ago. I was pretty beat up, she had been cheating on me for 2 months with a guy I knew pretty well.

 

About this time last year we had taken a break and I had started talking to this girl I've known since 6th grade, so about 9-10 years now. We partied with each other and had a great time but then distanced. I started seeing the same girl again (my now ex girlfriend) and we dated up until a few months back when I found she was cheating on me.....

 

I got pretty down on myself, started talking to the girl that I had gone an partied with. We have been really good friends since we met back in 6th grade, always talking about stuff and keeping each other in check. I started to get feelings for her, but she was worried it was me on the "rebound". Truth be told, I really did have feelings for her....and was not thinking about the physical side. My problem was she is going to college 2 hours away. Screw it, my emotions took over and one boring friday night I told her I wanted to come see her. To keep it short....spent the weekend in her dorm....ended up deciding to give it a shot the sunday I left. I see her now maybe every other weekend.

 

I can tell you first hand it's very possible. If your easily jealous I could see where you could have a problem with it, but trust is the big thing. I trust her more than anything, she's never steered me wrong before. We have been active sexually in the past, more as friends with benefits...always been pretty comfortable with each other so that isn't an awkward area for us. If anything the distance has brought us closer together. We enjoy our time that much more together.

 

Advice?

I would talk to her about weather or not she needs her freedom being on a college campus and things of that nature. If she is willing to be devoted to a guy that lives 2 hours away and your not going to have trust issues, give it a shot. I'm def. happy with it.