What Date To Propose? Is Christmas Tacky?

[jason83]

Hi everyone!

 

Marriage has been brought up more and more as of late between my girlfriend and me. She even gave me a page from a magazine not long ago suggesting what style engagement ring she likes. And she's even made mention that she is hoping to be engaged around Christmas time.

 

I know everyone has their own preferences with stuff like this but what are your guys and gals thoughts? Is that just tacky? She has a cousin that proposed on New Years Eve of last year to his fiancee and she really thought that was cute. April 27th was our first date so I've considered waiting until then as well

 

I still need/want to ask her father for his blessing first before I seriously pinpoint any date of when to propose but again was wondering what's your opinion?

[Sunshine11]

Propose when you're ready! Of course, if you tend to have trouble remembering important dates, like birthdays, then propose on an easy day, like Christmas, New Year's, or your anniversary. I have a feeling she'll be thrilled and say yes regardless

[Chinook]

Well, if I were you, I would take whichever date you feel comfortable with. If you really want to make her happy and you know she's expecting it, Christmas is a fab time to propose. Remember Christmas is about love, not about the commercialism and glitz. If it makes you warm to do it then, so do it. Plus, no remembering anniversary problems

[johan]

Christmas isn't tacky. But it is bad tactically. I'd wait until the day after, because you want to see what she got you first.

[Trialbyfire]

Imagine April 27th as your proposal date and April 27th being your wedding date. Easy to remember, no? And yes, I've forgotten all kinds of anniversaries before!

[Citizen Erased]

Christmas isn't tacky. But it is bad tactically. I'd wait until the day after, because you want to see what she got you first.

 

:lmao:

 

So if it's an iPod classic propose but if it's a shuffle dump her?

[johan]

:lmao:

 

So if it's an iPod classic propose but if it's a shuffle dump her?

 

Dumping her is probably a little extreme. There's always time for that.

 

But would you really want to lock someone like that in? I think not.

 

Don't do something you'll regret.

[Citizen Erased]

Dumping her is probably a little extreme. There's always time for that.

 

But would you really want to lock someone like that in? I think not.

 

Don't do something you'll regret.

 

True. At least get the New Years sex out of the way first.

[jason83]

Thanks for the opinions, everyone!

 

She made a comment recently that she really wanted and halfway expected to be engaged by Christmas....and that she kind of has her hopes up for it. I guess that's because we have discussed it so much lately and all.

 

I guess part of me thinks Christmas time (not necessarily the 25th) would be really cute and obviously would give her what she wants...and does 3 months really make THAT big of a difference?

 

I'm in a debate now of when I'M ready to make that plunge. I know for a fact I want to be with her....guess I should just go for it.

[Chinook]

Thanks for the opinions, everyone!

 

She made a comment recently that she really wanted and halfway expected to be engaged by Christmas....and that she kind of has her hopes up for it. I guess that's because we have discussed it so much lately and all.

 

I guess part of me thinks Christmas time (not necessarily the 25th) would be really cute and obviously would give her what she wants...and does 3 months really make THAT big of a difference?

 

I'm in a debate now of when I'M ready to make that plunge. I know for a fact I want to be with her....guess I should just go for it.

If you already know she's the one and you want her, then you're right 3 months isn't that big a deal. If you already know that she's expecting it around Christmas time then it would be nice to fulfill her dream for her no...? Personally, I prefer Christmas Eve to Christmas Day anyhow so that would be way more important to me. If you're not ready, then don't do it just because you feel you should. Do it when you're ready and not before. She may be disappointed but not as much if things go wrong and you bailed (not saying you would but it can happen if we don't feel ready).

[Trialbyfire]

Do it when you're ready and not before.

I completely agree with this.

 

If you're ready now, ask now and shock her. If you're still mulling it over, for the love of all you hold dear, don't do it until you have zero doubts. Both of you have to be in this whole-heartedly, together.

[Star Gazer]

I agree with TBF 1000000%.

 

Until and unless you have NO doubts and are absolutely ready to take the plunge, do NOT propose.

 

When you are ready, ask! Regardless of the date.

[jason83]

Good advice! The biggest part I'm not looking forward to is talking to her father. He's a great guy but he's sometimes very quiet and she is the oldest of 2 daughters (second oldest in the family)....and would be the first of 5 children to be engaged.

[Sunshine11]

Good advice! The biggest part I'm not looking forward to is talking to her father. He's a great guy but he's sometimes very quiet and she is the oldest of 2 daughters (second oldest in the family)....and would be the first of 5 children to be engaged.

 

In that case her dad is probably thinking, "Is this guy EVER going to make my daughter an honest woman? Or is he just throwing her for a loop?" I'm the oldest and the only girl out of five, and my dad has been saying he can't wait for grandchildren since I graduated college. (I was single at the time.) One of my brothers beat me to it though--he's getting married in June, and I'm guessing they'll be popping out little ones pretty soon after. Also, my grandparents aren't doing so well, and I know they really want to be at my wedding. So if my boyfriend were mulling over the same issue you are, I would hope he'd propose sooner rather than later. Either way, I'm super excited for you both!

[alphamale]

Is that just tacky?

personally i think it is much more tacky of her to suggest what kind of engagement rings she wants and when she wants to get engaged. i think you should rethink this "relationship"

[Walk]

Personally, I think you're gf's being pushy. Hinting is fine, but she's expecting you to propose before Christmas.

 

My H proposed to me on Christmas, and although it was incredibly sweet and I really cherish it... I think there are issues that come with holiday proposals. For one, announcing an engagment during the christmas festivities is akward. I mean, you have the whole family together and the kids are running around extremely excited, family members trying to put together the dinner, confusion, chaotic-ness, and you two standing there like dopes trying to get people's attention to tell them "We got engaged". But then Grandma didn't hear, so you have to shout over the nephew who's begging his mom to let him open all the gift because the 4 year old niece has already ripped open 2 of the boxes. All while Uncle Harry is getting wasted on the back deck with the father in law of the cousins wife.

 

Second, you still have to get her a really expensive christmas gift. You can't use the engagment ring as dual engagment ring and christmas gift. So if you spend a grand on the ring, you still have to shell out another few hundred on a real christmas present. Otherwise, she'll forever remember that the ONLY thing you gave her that christmas was the ring, and that doesn't count because you love her and you would've given her the ring at a different time anyway... so forever after you will OWE her, adn you'll hear about it.

 

That's my view on christmas proposals. Might be different in your world though.

[amaysngrace]

From a legal standpoint it's bad to give an engagement ring on any holiday. Pick a meaningless day.

 

If the wedding falls through she will be able to keep the ring because it was a "present" and not a "promise to marry".

 

BTDT

[D-Lish]

Christmas isn't tacky. But it is bad tactically. I'd wait until the day after, because you want to see what she got you first.

 

I agree with the bolded part...lol.

 

X-mas is a crazy time to get engaged. My husband proposed to me on x-mas... and there was so much other stuff going on neither of us had a chance to enjoy it.

 

I don't know what you think about this- but what about after new years?

Getting engaged at x-mas or new years eve may be a tiny bit cliche... same with valentine's day. AFter everything has died down and you've enjoyed the holiday together- well, I think that would make a nice time.

[jason83]

You all bring up some valid points on this topic.

 

I spoke with her about this yesterday and we both have agreed to wait until sometime after Christmas. I think we both want it and know that it's coming but the timing just isn't right quite yet

[Lauriebell82]

My best friend got engaged a week before Thanksgiving and she said it was the perfect time. It was right before he was taking her home to see his parents as well, so they were so thrilled!

 

I realize that is probably too soon for the two of you, however IMO that is a good time in general. It is still a little before Thanksgiving (therefore it's not right on a holiday), and like a month away from Christmas, therefore everyone is somewhat over the hype of the engagement and enjoy Christmas. Then all the holidays come and go and you can celebrate them all, already being engaged.

[StartingOver07]

First and foremost: when you are ready.

 

Then, on a date that is *yours*. Maybe sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas (IF you are ready).

 

If I am reading right, you've only been dating for not quite 7 months? So there is no hurry.

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

Personally, I think you're gf's being pushy. Hinting is fine, but she's expecting you to propose before Christmas.

Seriously. If his girlfriend was Lauriebell, you'd all be freaking out at her and calling her an obsessed psycho.

 

Anyhow, proposing on Christmas is only tacky if you substitute an engagement ring for actual Christmas gifts.

[Lauriebell82]

Seriously. If his girlfriend was Lauriebell, you'd all be freaking out at her and calling her an obsessed psycho.

 

Anyhow, proposing on Christmas is only tacky if you substitute an engagement ring for actual Christmas gifts.

 

Oh geez, how did I get into this thread. I don't know that his gf would neccessarily expect another Christmas present if she was proposed to. I know for me I would think that if a guy shelled out 1-3 grand on a ring, then the gf would respect the fact that he bought her something so expensive and not expect anything huge for Christmas. I don't know if you would want to marry someone who wouldn't be respectful.

 

Now if it was a birthday/christmas present (my b-day is December 30th) then I'd feel a little shafted. I've always gotten birthday/Christmas presents and while I don't expect to receive very expensive gifts within a week period I do like to seperate the two occasions, as they are not the same thing. My boyfriend jokingly told me he was going to buy me a birthday/Christmas present and I was like "No!!"

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

Oh geez, how did I get into this thread. I don't know that his gf would neccessarily expect another Christmas present if she was proposed to. I know for me I would think that if a guy shelled out 1-3 grand on a ring, then the gf would respect the fact that he bought her something so expensive and not expect anything huge for Christmas. I don't know if you would want to marry someone who wouldn't be respectful.

 

Now if it was a birthday/christmas present (my b-day is December 30th) then I'd feel a little shafted. I've always gotten birthday/Christmas presents and while I don't expect to receive very expensive gifts within a week period I do like to seperate the two occasions, as they are not the same thing. My boyfriend jokingly told me he was going to buy me a birthday/Christmas present and I was like "No!!"

Haha sorry...you posted in here earlier so I thought it was fair game!

 

Somebody on this board said my thoughts on that well a while ago: making the commitment of marriage is not a "gift" from one person to another, it's a mutual responsiblity. For someone to give it away as though it's a gift isn't the best starting mentality for what's supposed to be a lifelong commitment.

[chris250]

Do it on new years eve.