needed for a duck/ swan insecurity

[Sw3etdev1L]

Well, as I write this my dog is crying horribly. She is very very spoiled I swear hehe...wants to get cozy with meee.

Hehehe.

well anyways...

it doesn't matter it was a randomn thought.

I have a problem.

A lot of people have told me I am very cute, that I seem intelligent and that I am very well rounded for a young 23 yr woman.

When it comes to boys, I have no problem getting them near me in the club...but, in the daily basis..it's very hard for me to get them approach me.

Sometimes I just don't understand, because I do look too good, not good in a physical aspect but..I look like a goodhearted person, a sweet one.

I don't flirt, I just surround myself in my own world because I get very nervous when I really like cute boys or whatever I just don't feel I trust in myself so much.

The truth is when I was younger I was nerdylike, and well my story is like..the ugly duckling who becomes a swan you know?

So...I know I became a swan, but inside of me..sometimes I still feel like, the nerdylike ugly duckling...not that I feel like insecure with myself, or my intelligence or whatever..it is just a matter of boys!!!. Whenever I like a boy a lot I just think " he is too cute for me, he is not gonna put his eyes on me, I am not his type, or...he must be a player because he is too cute" and I get so many prejudice in my head I just can't control that...and..truth is, I've always had nice nice men as boyfriends, I used to be the type of person who believes the inner side is more important than the outside, but...with that way of thinking I got a lot of not valuable people from the inside because they didn't feel confident around me, they couldn't believe they were going out with me.and I didn't like that because I felt...they were enough for me!!!...since I had that problem, I am starting to want to look for the cute guys, but I want the whole package...cute AAAAND A BEAUTIFUL SOUL. it is hard for me to search out for the cute.. I get all nervous and insecure around those boys, I just don't know how to act or flirt or whatever...

I've been told they do look at me but I usually don't notice who or nothing""":. It's hard for me. I do dress nicely, I am in a med career /nutrition, I do exercise, I am very social, and I am truly very positive and active person. I am not materialistic that's for sure...so, this for me is, unknown territory...to really look for someone who I don't just like inwardly but externally too....it just disturbs me, and gets me all insecure and tremblyl and stuff...HEEEEELP""!!!

[Geishawhelk]

I can't help you, but talk to me about your dog.

I'm a Dog Behaviourist.

They're always much simpler than humans.

But your dog's behaviour reflects yours.

So it could be a start.....

[Sw3etdev1L]

Geisha..really, this post is not about my dog, but thanks hehe...

though, what you said is really weird.

I must say.

[Geishawhelk]

Not really.

Our dogs are genetically 96% wolves.

They function purely and simply in a pack mentality.

If your dog doesn't see you as leadership material, it will try to dominate you as your leader.

It has to.

A pack with a weak, indecisive uncertain leader, with emotional distractions - is merely a leader showing weaknesses.

Your dog perceives your emotional turmoil as a weakness. So it's trying to control you, but it tries to do so in a world (human) it doesn't understand.

Get on top of your problem, and your dog won't cry and -

 

"She is very very spoiled I swear hehe...wants to get cozy with meee.".....

 

Every time I visit a home that has a problem dog - it's NEVER the dog.

Never.

Each visit takes about 2 hours.

The dog gets it in minutes.

It's the humans who need training.

Re-address the way you interact with your dog - and even human behaviour and relationships fall into place.

[Geishawhelk]

Read your first post again - and put yourself into the body and mind-frame of a dog.

 

What type of dog are you?

And how are you behaving?

[Sw3etdev1L]

Thanks again but I don't want help for my dog, she's doing great thanks..

I posted here to solve a problem for myself. hehe..

but this is just too crazy, maybe there will be no one sane who will be able to give me advice after just knowing u.

Really, I don't want to be rude but that's just too much for me.

anyways goodluck with your dog job.

[Geishawhelk]

I don't need luck.

You do.

[Geishawhelk]

And please believe me, I'm perfectly sane.

I think you come across as a bit self-centred and skittish in your post.

hence the possible lack of replies.

But everything I apply to canine behaviour goes just as well - if not better - for human behaviour too.

 

But that's fine.

keep fishing, and hopefully someone will reply.

[Sw3etdev1L]

Well, everybody is self centered..u are self centered with your job..and don't accept anyone elses opinions, why? I don't know... I didn't say nothing wrong about it..it is just an opinion from someone you don't even know.

And if you don't need goodluck then I don't wish nothing to you...but thanks for the attention and that's it..Next time focus on the point of the post, or don't post at all, this was not a dog post hehe..you made me laugh, ....I wish you were a veterinary and told me if washing the sheets with chloride is allergenic for dogs...I was just wondering, because my dogs are perfectly sane too. I treat them very nicely, don't worry.

Are you a vet? or just a dog psychic?

[Sw3etdev1L]

What if, your dog....is just out the window and he is just crying because he wants to be inside the house and you don't want that because you don't want hair dog all over the couch and stuff......there's no problem there..

Not if they are with other dogs, in the garden, eating right, getting enough sleep, taken care of..and well groomed and have played with you..

I mean, what if the dog doesn't have problems AT ALL...

humans are different genetically in a 1%..scientifically proven.

If dogs are 5% different from our dna, how can you be certain of what you say? if there is no cientific prove of it, it is just a matter of self suggestion and self thinking and believing it is that way...maybe being a veterinarian would be part of the job I don't know

[windows]

From what I've read; you're quite all over the place. What exactly is your problem? That you're shy? That you 'haven't found the right one'? Self esteem? You need tips on how to be approached by guys? Too fussy? Your dog? Try to narrow your problem down. What do you need help with most?

 

(I actually have no solutions to this but after reading this, I got confused and thought that you might want to clear up some things. Paragraphing and headings might help)

[Geishawhelk]

What if, your dog....is just out the window and he is just crying because he wants to be inside the house and you don't want that because you don't want hair dog all over the couch and stuff......there's no problem there..

 

Yes, there is.

The dog doesn't want to be "inside the house". The dog wants to be with you. It's suffering separation anxiety, because it can't get to you to keep an eye on you, so it's fretting for your safety.

he doesn't know you don't want him in the house because of his shedding hair. You know that. he doesn't. all he knows is you're in there, he's out here, and he wants to be close to you.

...

humans are different genetically in a 1%..scientifically proven.

If dogs are 5% different from our dna, how can you be certain of what you say? if there is no cientific prove of it,

 

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about here.

A Dog is 96% wolf. That's what I said earlier. Genetically it's proveable, of course it is.

I made no mention of connection to human DNA. As for the rest of it....

What - ?

 

it is just a matter of self suggestion and self thinking and believing it is that way...maybe being a veterinarian would be part of the job I don't know

Again, you're not making any sense here.

 

I give up.

 

[Sw3etdev1L]

I had never heard of a person who psychoanalyses dogs, I am sorry truly If you were hurt by any means with what I said..

 

I meant...if genetically we are all different as human beings in a 1% and it is 1% which makes a huge difference between person and person...then how can a person interpret dog internal feelings if...we as humans sometimes are very bad in communicating ourselves...

And dogs are genetically only 5% genetically different from us and that is why they look different, act different ...and stuff.

[kdark]

you totally misread her post.

 

Dogs aren't 5% different genetically from humans. Dogs are 5% different genetically from wolves. She was just drawing a parallel to your dogs behavior and problems your dog is having to the problems in your life.

 

And as far as your problems go...

 

It's sounds like you used to be unattractive, you realized now you are, and want to move up a grade in the quality of guys you date, and are having trouble adapting...

 

In short, you used to be a six, so the laws of attraction state you felt comfortable dating a five, six, or seven.

 

Now you are an eight. Now you are trying to find/date guys who are sevens, eights, and nines, and are having trouble working in your new class of dating.

 

Did I get this right?

[wierdmunky]

 

Whenever I like a boy a lot I just think " he is too cute for me, he is not gonna put his eyes on me, I am not his type, or...he must be a player because he is too cute"

 

but I want the whole package...cute AAAAND A BEAUTIFUL SOUL. it is hard for me to search out for the cute.. I get all nervous and insecure around those boys, I just don't know how to act or flirt or whatever...

 

 

to really look for someone who I don't just like inwardly but externally too....it just disturbs me, and gets me all insecure and tremblyl and stuff...HEEEEELP""!!!

 

 

BUT ...you also said .......

 

I got a lot of not valuable people from the inside because they didn't feel confident around me, they couldn't believe they were going out with me.and I didn't like that because I felt...they were enough for me!!!

 

 

Aren't you feeling almost the same as they are?