windows Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I'm a high school guy, 16, who needs to stop thinking about this girl. My head says I don't have a chance with this girl. She just doesn't seem interested in me the way I am with her. At most we talk from time to time usually ending each conversation with a laugh. But she just talks to so many other guys so much more which I don't understand why because they seem like such a-holes while I'm just nicer than them (I don't see them offering her a pack of tissues whenever she has a cold). Everytime we pass by we give each other a little wave and smile but I guess I'm not good enough for anything more. Not confident, not funny enough, not interesting enough and basically not enough chemistry between us. I feel like I know this yet is a brick wall she's the only light in my life right now and my hearts fighting so hard against the rest of me to chase her. I need to get over her but I don't know how nor do I know what I'd do afterwards. Even still I don't want to continue this cycle. Could someone give me some advice other than "go join a club" (no such thing in Australia) or "focus on other things" (I really did try but then Monday came around and then she took me away with her smile all over again)? I really can't do either right now. Link to post Share on other sites
casanovacorner Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Check out the site in my signature. I just posted a blog about why nice guys finish last. The problem is, a lot of women are self destructive and would rather date an a-hole than the nice guy. A-holes are more confident and appear stronger than the weak, unsure, shy, nice guy. Maybe its a subconscious thing, or maybe its instinct, but women seek out strong males, and they can tell when you aren't confident. If you don't believe in yourself, why should she believe in you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author windows Posted November 18, 2008 Author Share Posted November 18, 2008 so a girl like her would rather enjoy the company of a-holes. If I were to chase her, I would basically have to be more... cynical? jerk-like? not myself? mean? As far as I know it, most girls see me as some sort of cute novelty. And I visited your blog but treating her not like anyone special... probably won't do much. Ignoring the hell out of her is the plan? I'd probably drop straight off her radar. Or to pay constant attention to her yet treat her like $#@%? I simply can't comprehend it. Right now, everyone sees me in some sort of light that indicates 'I'm not a player. I'm not interested in relationships. I'm a grade A student.'. I don't know how to shake that without anyone making a deal out of it. I don't know how to be that 'strong a-hole' that would attract a girl; its just so out of character of me. Do women seriously prefer to go out with guys who would time endlessly flicking their elbows with rubber bands? To go out with guys who'd rather make constant crude 'That's what she said' jokes and poke them all the time? If this is really true; then what kind of chance do I have? I'm already established as a "non-jerk, non-a-hole, nice, shy guy" and I don't know how to be a jerk/a-hole without feeling a twinge of guilt. I mean, has there been any success story at all about a nice guy turned jerk just for the sake of winning over a girl? In any case, should I really really have no chance, and my head was right about this. How would I get over her? And how could I stop myself being jealous of those a-holes in her life? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Pay attention to those other girls giving you the time of day. Yes Approach them. Talk, yes, but talk with a purpose; the purpose being for them to go on a date with you. Signals mean a lot. By talking to other girls, you do three things - 1. Become comfortable with talking with girls and asking them out 2. Might meet one with whom you have chemistry 3. Might gather the attention of the girl in question as seeing you happily engaging with other girls will cause her interest in you to rise Forget about being someone you're not. Send signals of confidence in who you are. Women like signals Girls will miss some, but the right one for you will get it.... Link to post Share on other sites
casanovacorner Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 I'll be honest with you. Women don't make much sense at all. I messed around with a girl I've known since she was 12 and I was 14. She is a really close friend, now shes 24 and I'm 26. She'll never be with me, but she'll have sex with me on occasion. LOL. Women are backward to me and once you understand that they are completely random, the faster you'll understand that the most illogical thing will work. Its like splitting the smallest (atom) thing to create the biggest explosion (bomb). It really doesn't make much sense unless you study and learn why it works. Link to post Share on other sites
Author windows Posted November 18, 2008 Author Share Posted November 18, 2008 "1. Become comfortable with talking with girls and asking them out " ...I've never done that... ever. (well I DO talk to girls comfortably, just not the asking out bit) While to many people out there, asking someone out isn't that big a deal but for me right now; in the middle of high school politics where the casual, nerdy kid starts randomly asking girls out is quite... It would be quite a big step for me. Heck people over my end of the school; the 'popular' guys don't even do that. Basically I'm quite shy to do anything like that. And what exactly are these 'signals' you're talking about? Link to post Share on other sites
casanovacorner Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Well, for starters, asking a girl out is only as hard as you make it out to be in your mind. Be friends with her, get her number, talk to her after school. Ask her to hang out. Signals are small things like small amounts of touching. If she's sitting close to you and crosses her legs toward you, that's a good sign that she's interested in what you're talking about. If she crosses them the opposite way, she's losing interest, so change the subject. Body language is the key to most women. Not all, but most. The more you talk to women, the easier it is. Its just like riding a bike, it takes practice, but once you get the hang of it, you never forget how. Link to post Share on other sites
Author windows Posted November 18, 2008 Author Share Posted November 18, 2008 heh alright thanks. I'll try it out. I should try riding a bike too. I've never learnt how to ride a bike . Hopefully its not too late for both things to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
casanovacorner Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 LOL. You should probably learn to do that. What if she asked you to go bike riding? You never can be too prepared. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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