Chelle9203 Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 So for the past 3 months me and my (ex) boyfriend have been the happiest people on earth. We did everything together and were getting very serious. We had similar personalities and loved being together and did tons of fun things. We both stated that we were perfect for each other. However, we both just got out of bad relationships. His included his ex being pregnant with his baby. They got joint custody but his ex gave him a lot of problems about it and he was forced to call the police multiple times. The other night he laughed and told me the ex had nowhere to go and asked if she could move back in with him. He told me that he said the baby could and not her. Then I got a text the next morning asking if i would still hang out with him if his ex moved back in too. A few hours later he said he has been thinking alot but he made his decision and they are moving back in and we are done. The next day she moved back in. He told me he had no feelings for her and he was just trying to help out for the baby. When talking to him however, he said he might have feelings for her and he is confused, but the baby might be clouding his judgement about her. A day later, he told me that she said she only did this because she wants them to be a family and work out their problems. He said that he was going to try. I am extremely shocked about this it came out of nowhere. We never even got into a fight. I feel bad for being upset because it is good the baby has two parents right now. But at the same time they broke up for a reason. He always said how happy he was with me and right now he is not sure if he is happy with his current situation. he said he really still cares about me. Was i just a rebound and temporary replacement? I really don't feel like they will work together but could the baby and the thought of being a "family" really be clouding his judgement?
amaysngrace Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 He has a responsibility to her and the baby. The baby because it's his and her because she is the mother of his baby. It's admirable. But it has nothing to do with you. Please don't think it does because it doesn't. Time will tell. You may represent a happiness of freedom to him. Or he may be happiest living as an intact family. It is his choice to make. Please don't get too down about it though. You have very tough competition.
Author Chelle9203 Posted November 18, 2008 Author Posted November 18, 2008 But then he started saying things like you are probably leaving to go away to school and i don't know what is going on with anything anymore He can't explain anything, and won't give me any answers because he doesn't have any. I talked to him once and he sounded miserable. I do think it is admirable, because they broke up before the baby and never had a chance to see how it worked out. But at the same time i was dragged into it and it hurts so bad because i never thought i would fall for him. He wasn't happy with her and they couldn't stand each other towards the end. But now he might have feelings for her? when in the morning he told me he didn't have any, and a few hours later he said he might. i don't understand.
LittleDove Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 He sounds confused, and torn... or having trouble communicating his real thoughts. You have seen them fight, its hard for him to be honest about his X without causing you pain? If he does have feelings for her.. I think he has chosen the right thing, even though it is horrible for you. Sorry. Kids.. Kids bring about a whole new set of needs and responsibility, and LOVE, and much more. Let him sort out how he feels. If he comes back, and all fails, then at least he tried to do the right thing, by his child and the mother of his child. Thats a sacred bond. all the best.
Author Chelle9203 Posted November 18, 2008 Author Posted November 18, 2008 thanks, i do agree completely. I care about the baby as well and know that that is the best for her. He is a great guy who got put in a situation he didn't know how to handle and felt guilty about but since i have known him he has been doing the best he can. I have always told him too that if this happened i would understand because the baby is more important than me. I guess when it finally did i kind of acted like a hippocrite, because he told me it never would happen. He told me he is just doing things one step at a time. I just sent him a final message saying i understand and that he is doing the right thing and i am here still if he ever wants to talk but i am going to back off. Now hopefully i stop thinking too much into it and just accept this without thinking i could have done something different, and that it was because of me. I do still feel lead on because of the way we felt about each other, but i don't have any kids and can't really put myself in his position.
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