pandagirl Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Yes, I'm talking about the same guy again. Every time I forget about him, he somehow contacts me. Here's my question: I have no hard feelings, I have moved on, and I would like to be friends with him. We always got along great and our break-up wasn't bad. Things only got complicated when we failed at transitioning into a platonic friendship. Then he just sort of disappeared, which I took as he didn't want to be friends. I didn't try to contact him anymore. That was that. But, in the last month, he's contacted me twice. Once in a group email (I didn't respond), and once again today with an email specifically to me. Neither one of these emails are a grandoise effort at re-establishing communication or a friendship, but they do symbolize some sort of effort on his part. Let me make it clear that 1) I don't need to jump right into a friendship with him, 2) I want nothing more than a friendship, and 3) I don't *need* to be his friend, but I would like to test the waters to see if it can happen. I guess what I'm trying to get at is, should I respond and how? Link to post Share on other sites
bubblegum Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 What is holding you back from responding, that he might be looking for something more than friendship? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pandagirl Posted November 18, 2008 Author Share Posted November 18, 2008 What is holding you back from responding, that he might be looking for something more than friendship? I guess, I don't want to go through the whole thing again of trying to be friends and having it not work out. I can't tell if he's being sincere, or if he's just bored. Link to post Share on other sites
bubblegum Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Well, depends on what he wrote, but you could write something back just asking how he is and what he's been up to. See where he takes it from there? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t154022/ This guy? IMO, if your "friendship" evolved from dating (that you weren't friends for a significant amount of time prior), I wouldn't respond unless and until the decision to respond isn't relevant anymore. IOW, if you're thinking enough about it to post a thread here and ask advice, don't respond. The act (or interaction) still carries too much meaning, IMO. If it's someone else, you can slap me for my ignorance Link to post Share on other sites
Author pandagirl Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t154022/ This guy? IMO, if your "friendship" evolved from dating (that you weren't friends for a significant amount of time prior), I wouldn't respond unless and until the decision to respond isn't relevant anymore. IOW, if you're thinking enough about it to post a thread here and ask advice, don't respond. The act (or interaction) still carries too much meaning, IMO. If it's someone else, you can slap me for my ignorance Haha. Yeah, it's that guy. Honestly, I am surprised that I am feeling indifferent about this. I thought I would jump at the chance to contact him, but now that it's here, I'm almost like, "what's the point? it's still awkward and weird." I do really want to be friends with him -- just not right at this moment. Thing don't feel right yet. But I also don't want to burn bridges by not writing back. Also, yesterday I found out that my ex-boyfriend from college cancer has come back. Which makes me feel like life is short and why are we always holding back the things we mean to say, but just sometimes never do? Link to post Share on other sites
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