Friends of the Opposite Sex

[jmargel]

I'm glad someone agrees with me!

 

And if a female is out with two guys, then yes most men will assume that you are at least with one of them. Perhaps you need a female friend to go out with just for that reason.. haha

[Tony T]

I think there are certainly exceptions but when men and women are "close" friends, one or the other wants more...if not right now, eventually.

[2sure]

Thank you for your comment - and I see exactly what you're saying...

 

But honestly, I THOUGHT I was "one of the guys".

With one or two, we participated in a kind of sport together, travelled the country, and in a group of 6 guys I was often the only girl. No issues at all.

 

I honestly thought that any romantic feelings had been put aside years before. When they would have a girlfriend who turned out not to like me, I always assumed she didnt like me, personally, I never ever thought I was seen as a threat.

 

Even when I had boyfriends, my guy friends accepted them and we would do things together. Of course the boyfriends would change, but my "friends" stayed the same.

 

It wasnt until I got married that things changed.

 

I am still friends with one (my best), but he has backed off, and thats ok, he does stay in touch often enough.

 

But for the most part, I have to agree: We cannot be one of they guys. It may feel that way...but no. We are girls , seen as girls first.

[D-Jam]

I have to agree with the OP's husband. I've said it before that most single guys don't initially try to become friends with women. That means when he approaches and tries to be in conversation with a woman, then it's either because he's interested in her in terms of dating or sex, or he's interested in one of her friends and wants to find an entry path to her.

 

I know many women wish we lived in a world where men just went out to be friends with anyone of any gender, but we men are more wired to seek out a mate before seeking out a friend in a woman. If they tried to date you or come on to you, and you FZed them (and they accepted the FZ), then I bet money they all more or less hoped you would become free again as well as take interest in them.

 

PLUS...we men also try to avoid "stepping on someone else's lawn". Let's face it, in a primal sense, you are the property of your husband...and for any man to try to be your close pal is asking for trouble down the road. We will back off when said woman is claimed in so many ways. On top of that we know you're off the market and thus a waste of time in the sense of looking for a mate (unless you're out introducing us to single female friends).

 

Most female friends I have are closer to me when they're single, but put up a lot of distance once they find a man. I don't blame them either.

[mental_traveller]

Your husband was right - they were just motivated mainly by trying to get into your pants.

 

Opposite sex friends usually only exist when neither party finds the other remotely attractive, but they have a good personality match. If one or other is sexually interested, then they won't be true friends.