Leaving for Iraq: it came out that his love for me had basically come to a plateau

[swtgrl82]

I really don't know what to do. Sure things weren't perfect b/w me and him, but we were always happy. He's in the army and is leaving for Iraq in February. Thursday night we got into an argument and it came out that his love for me had basically come to a plateau. He still loved me, but it wasn't growing. I had told him that I had never loved anyone this much before. But the thought of his love for me not growing hurt and worried me. So about 6 Friday morning, I broke up with him.

 

Later that day I was in Killeen running errands and I stopped by his place. I told him that I had changed my mind and I really didn't want to break up, that I loved him too much to just give up that easily. Well he wasn't having any of that. He had basically been thinking about it for the last month b/c he didn't want to put me through the heartache when he left for a year. But he had decided that he couldn't do it; that it would be too hard for him to do b/c he loved me. I tried and tried to get him to change his mind b/c neither one of us wanted to be apart. But he was so determined to see this through. He said that he didn't want me waiting for him, he didn't want me worrying about whether or not he was coming back. He said that he wants to be friends and I agreed to that b/c I don't want him out of my life. But b/c I am totally devoted to him, I told him that even though we weren't together, I would still wait for him to get back and I wouldn't be with anyone untill then.

 

He told me that he didn't want that for me, he wanted me to move on. But I told him that he had made the decision for us to not be together, but this was my decision, one that I wanted to make. One that I was willing to go through with. Now he is acting like he wants to avoid me. I asked him if I could come over tonight to see him and at first he seemed ok about it then he decided that it wasn't a good idea. I love him soo much and this totally hurts me. All I want to do is sit and cry. I really need some help with this.

[clia]

But I told him that he had made the decision for us to not be together, but this was my decision, one that I wanted to make.

 

It's as much his decision as it is yours, and it sounds like he has made his decision. There is nothing you can do now except work on moving on.

[swtgrl82]

But waiting for him is my decision not his. He can't tell me to not wait for him. Well actaully he can, but that doesn't mean I have to listen to it. I love him and I am not willing to give him up without a fight. And that's what I want to do.

[Leikela]

I think the important thing you're leaving out here is that although you have vowed to wait for him, who's to say he hasn't vowed to move on from you? I mean wait for him all you want, but you're just putting your life on hold for a NOT so sure thing. What if after a year he has moved on and has another girlfriend? All the fighting you do to get him back could get you nowhere and hurt you even more. He's obviously made up his mind. Let it go and if it's meant to be, it'll be.