Am I just being played?

[jgirl70]

I am confused and really have no one to talk to about this. I broke up with my BF about 6 weeks ago, I did it badly in a text. I had some problems that I didnt want to involve him in and so I didnt want him to see me or hear my voice, that's why the text.

 

When everything ended up fine I tried to contact him to explain but he never returned my text or calls for two weeks. Then he finally called and told me I hurt him badly and we would never get back together and he was going to pursue another girl he met. He has however continued to call, text and seen me twice, yes I stupidly had sex and what hurts was the same day we were together he tells me he is going on a date with this other girl. I am starting to feel that he is just punishing me for what I did to him or he always like to test me so he may be trying to see how far I will go to get him back.. I need some advice PLEASE

[simon sez]

Looks like this guy knows how to handle a breakup. Excellent job by him.

 

For anyone reading this, please recognize what worked for this guy..

Perfect way to handle a breakup. Works like a charm.....

 

Don't call. Start dating others. Let go......

 

Recipe for success..

[madgun68]

I am confused and really have no one to talk to about this. I broke up with my BF about 6 weeks ago, I did it badly in a text. I had some problems that I didnt want to involve him in and so I didnt want him to see me or hear my voice, that's why the text.

 

When everything ended up fine I tried to contact him to explain but he never returned my text or calls for two weeks. Then he finally called and told me I hurt him badly and we would never get back together and he was going to pursue another girl he met. He has however continued to call, text and seen me twice, yes I stupidly had sex and what hurts was the same day we were together he tells me he is going on a date with this other girl. I am starting to feel that he is just punishing me for what I did to him or he always like to test me so he may be trying to see how far I will go to get him back.. I need some advice PLEASE

To answer your question; No, you are not being played.

 

However. Read the part in bold above. The reason you are not being played is because he has told you exactly what is going on. If you have been carrying on as you have with the hope that it will somehow bring you together again, you need to stop.

 

Have you two properly sat down and talked about what happened? Your only real chance is to discuss what took place and why you did what you did. He may understand and be willing to give it another chance.

 

If that fails, you need to take measures to prevent yourself from getting hurt.

[BCCA]

I've always said that ex boyfriends remain in contact for two, and only two, reasons:

 

1. Sex

2. Chance at reconciliation.

 

There is no other point really. I am not friends with any ex of mine, and it has nothing to do with hating them or anything like that, I just have other friends I havent slept with and we have nothing to talk about anymore.

 

As was mentioned, he did give you a disclaimer that he wasnt going to take you back and he was dating other people. And truth be told, regardless of what was going on with you, can you really blame him? As someone whose 5 year relationship ended with a phone call, I can tell you first hand that over the phone (or even worse - a text) is NOT the adult way to handle something like ending a relationship. People get the idea that youre just avoiding confrontation because its easier on you, without taking the other person into consideration.

 

I concur, your only shot here is to lay out exactly what happened, and why you did what you did, and hope he understands. Did the problems you had that you didnt want to involve him in include someone else? An ex maybe?

[jgirl70]

I guess I need to explain more since you all seems to think I am this awful person, the text was horrible I admit it however he was very in-tuned to me and would know something else was wrong, I am not a good Liar since I dont believe in it.

 

Five years ago I found out I had a pretty serious illness, the doctors pretty much guaranteed me that if I went through this Horrific treatment it would put me in remission for life. I have never gone through Chemo but was told by someone who went through it that Chemo was a cake walk compared to this. It was the worst 6 months of my life and I swore I would never go through it again. I went to to doctor and he did some blood work and one of my numbers were unusually high indicating that I was no longer in remission. I was shocked, scared and freaked out! and most of all I didn't want anyone to have to go through that with me. We had been dating 3 months and he was looking forward to settling down and starting his life. As it turned out I was sent to my specialist who saw the numbers and said that couldn't possibly be right, they ran the test again twice and everything was normal.. Lab error??? Lucky or not?? when I found out two weeks later I tried to contact and explain to him that what I did was for unselfish reasons and I was not in my right mind, so scared I told nobody... He never once has even asked me what my illness was or even cares, he just keeps keeps harping on how bad I hurt him and so I don't think he will ever get over it

[BCCA]

Most importantly, I'm very sad to hear about your illness, and wish you all the best!

 

Next, let me tell you as a guy - we tend to take stuff like that pretty personal and have a hard time letting things go. We feel slighted, and like there is more to it that you're not letting onto. If you can tell by my response, the first thing that popped into my mind when you said you didnt want to involve him was that it was something with another guy. Generally, people will use vague "some stuff going on" explinations when they are still dealing with a whole other relationship, but dont want to get into it. I didnt mean to imply you were a bad person or that you were sleeping around, but honestly, the same things I thought probably popped up in his mind as well. I guess its just part of the way guys think.

 

With that said, if you've said your piece and tried to get him to understand, what more can you do? I think its terrible that things had to happen this way, but I've had a girl break a date with me over a text, and never spoke to her again. Texts/emails are, IMO, an easy way out. You HAVE to be able to communicate everything with your signifigant other, and even if it was only 3 months, simply telling him the truth (or as much as you could) would have made things much different. I dont mean to beat you up over it, as Im sure youve been through enough, but I think you might have to learn a lesson the hard way. Next time, at least call and actually talk to your bf before doing something like that. You seem like a very honest person, but sometimes making vague, ambigous statements gives people the impression you have something to hide.

 

Youve done what you could, and your health seems to be in order - which is most important. There isnt much else to do but see what the universe has in store for you next...