eric6million Posted November 22, 2008 Share Posted November 22, 2008 Alright so I've been with my girlfriend for 3years now, she lives about 120miles away in a different town, needless to say we chose different colleges. Its been pretty good between us, I love her so much and no matter what happens I will always love her, I know that, there will always be some part of me that loves her. We spend every-other weekend together and talk every night on the phone or over skype, shes adorable, cute, funny, smart, and most of all in love with me. BUT, in the past two weeks I have been thinking of this other girl, shes in two of my classes, we're from the same hometown, she loves sci-fi movies and shows, she makes me laugh, and shes very cute. She says she has feelings for me which really doesnt help the situation. I don't know what I should do, should I pursue this other girl or should I try and forget about her. I told my girlfriend about this other girl and she says I should just wait and see where my feelings lead me. Link to post Share on other sites
cocoa Posted November 23, 2008 Share Posted November 23, 2008 wow, you are almost the other side to my story. except your girlfriend is a million times cooler than i am... congrats. wasn't really an advice but... i guess my way would be considering hypothetical questions "would i feel okay with not having my girlfriend?" "would i regret not pursuing this other girl in 6 months/a year?" and see if how you feel about these questions help you move towards an answer. seeing how my long d failed now though you may not want to take advice from me haha Link to post Share on other sites
lofi_tokyo Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 My ex was in the same situation as you. Him and I were in a LDR, 2.5yrs, loved each other both very much, but he met a girl in one of his classes that he clearly had a crush on, and she was making her crush known. He left me for her. He was tired of planning with our LDR and moved to her. Here is what I can tell you: We broke up 3 months ago, and within two weeks he started dating the new girl seriously. So they've been together 2.5 months. As far as I know, they are very happy together. So there is potential to be happy with the new girl. That being said, my ex doing that broke my heart. I don't care if he still loved me, or whatever his reasons were, leaving one girl for another is pretty low. It made me feel so powerless - I'm far away, and for a while there is nothing I can do to change that. Maybe my ex hopes when I come home him and I can maybe get together again, he'll always love me in some way afterall. The truth is, though I play nice with him when we do talk (which is rare), I will never be able to date him again, he has caused me too much hurt. So! To go for the new girl or not? Tough call. If you go for her, you're going to lose your current girlfriend probably forever. That being said, if shes not moving back any time soon, well, you're young, it can't hurt to see whats out there. No point in torturing yourself with long distance. Also, if you are going to miss your current girlfriend by breaking up with her - then your new girl could potentially turn into a rebound. No fun for anyone. So watch out! My best advice is, if you truly love your current girlfriend, and you think you can make it work until you can be together - then make it clear to the new girl she is NOT getting you. Its hard to do that. But its not fair to either of these girls to string them along. Link to post Share on other sites
Brunhilda Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 Hej, tokyovogue How did you manage to go over it? It must have been hard... Where did you find strenght? I am now in LDR for about a year, and I can't immagine how it would be if he decide to leave me someday. I believe he is everything I have always wanted.. With him everything seems to be nicer, things have their sense, their value, on contrary without him everything losses its meaning. I freak out when I only don't hear him for a day.. Link to post Share on other sites
SarahT111 Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 wow eric that absolutly incredible that your gf would say that. 99.99999% of girls would be heartbroken and go absolutly phsyco at a bf who told them he likes someone else. She is an absolute keeper You have found your self a one in a million who puts you above her own happiness and I would say youd be so stupid to let her go. You have been together 3 years and she sounds perfect. This new girl is just simply that 'a new girl' Soo many realtionships get into a routine and someone gets bored and finds another partner to distract them, only to find out their new partner isn't so good and they miss their ex who is now gone. You have been together 3 years and have no problems, so why would you throw it away over a small crush? Link to post Share on other sites
Athena Posted December 7, 2008 Share Posted December 7, 2008 I admire you for being honest and telling your g/f about your developing feelings for this other girl. In how much time will you and your g/f be able to live near each other? If the two of you have only JUST started college as Freshmen, then my advice to you is to break up with your g/f and allow yourself to start dating others. This is a time of your life where you have much to learn from the dating world. Being in a LDR is tough -- I know, my 22 yr marriage has had half the time spent away from each other -- and that is Marriage, not dating. If you are a Freshman, give yourself the opportunity to enjoy a person who you will be able to see on a daily basis. Link to post Share on other sites
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