can a christian marry a divorcee?

[slimjim]

god hates divorce. jesus said that a man who puts away his wife, and someone remarries her, then he commits adultery. sounds simple to me, but is this correct thinking on my part?

 

my lady is supposedly a christian and has been married 4 times--seems like she lacks the biblical depth of meaning of what a true covenant to god a marriage is. a covenant to god can never be broken--divorce is a way of dealing with man's laws, therefore the marriage is never over in god's eyes and the remarriage results in adultery.

 

i think adultery is the only reason to divorce, if you cant forgive and reconcile. and if you do marry a divorcee, is this a one time sin of marriage, or a continuous sin?

 

thanks.

 

thanks.

[slimjim]

you are so right about that--i have many doubts, which i think are justified on my part. but she is a PK, with all their problems and guilts, and is now making noise about her being a christian and wanting to do things right this time, and not make any more mistakes.

 

i dont know where this train of thougth has been in the past marriages. maybe she has a real slow learning curve, which is a concern in itself.

 

thanks.

[MN randomguy]

Being a PK doesn't make you a Christian. Its been my experience that there is no middle ground for PKs. They're either straight and narrow, or totally rebellious.

 

Maybe she has started to own her faith for the first time in her life. If this is the case she is a new creature in Christ and her old life is gone.

 

It could also be that she has not changed her heart and that it is convenient to fly the Christian flag now. I don't know her, hopefully you do.

[Moose]

OP......are you a Born Again Christian?

 

If not, then it shouldn't matter to you.....unless you want to please God....

 

And if that's the case, you should look into joining His Fold....?

[Eve]

The original poster said - 'god hates divorce. jesus said that a man who puts away his wife, and someone remarries her, then he commits adultery. sounds simple to me, but is this correct thinking on my part?I read somewhere that the much quoted divorce issue was really aiming to qualify that the leaders at the time should allow the females of the said era freedom by allowing their release from 'marraige'. The much quoted Bible quote follows.. Mark 5 31; It has been said, `Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'Apparently this was quite unseemly at the time and even now has other connotations in bad marraiges where the female is held onto for not very noble reasons.</p></p>

[Eve]

The original poster said - 'god hates divorce. jesus said that a man who puts away his wife, and someone remarries her, then he commits adultery. sounds simple to me, but is this correct thinking on my part?I read somewhere that the much quoted divorce issue was really aiming to qualify that the leaders at the time should allow the females of the said era freedom by allowing their release from 'marraige'. The much quoted Bible quote follows.. Mark 5 31; It has been said, `Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'Apparently this was quite unseemly at the time and even now has other connotations in bad marraiges where the female is held onto for not very noble reasons.

[Eve]

Sorry, my post is not being presented in the way I intend. It seems that the controls have changed somewhat since my last log in.Ah well, I hope that you get the main essence of things..

[slimjim]

yes moose, i am a christian and believer, and i am looking for biblical guidance. she considers herself to be a chrstian, but a lot of people talk it but dont walk it. i try, but we all fall short many times.

 

but marriage is serious--its a covenant before GOD--that has to mean something to anyone who believes in anything it seems to me. i have never been married, and am in mid 40's. i know the implications of the world and the judgements that follow based on that statement, but i refuse to care. i know my own heart.

 

now she has done this 4 times, and we met thru a convoluted method which threw us together. i have never searched for anyone, and figured god would put me in the right place atthe right time. but why this woman?

 

she seems serious, and her other divorces seemed more about bad decisions than no commitment. 2 of them were abusive. and she married the same guy twice out of guilt. she says she is tired of failed relationships, and i think she knows that i know what this covenant means, and it is beofre God and should never be broken.

 

if i do this--it will be only once. but you can bet that i will go to a church marriage counselor with her beofre i do anything.

 

thanks

[chris250]

We are not under the law anymore. We are under grace. Under the new covenant of grace everything is permissible but not all things are profitable. So yes you can remarry after getting a divorce.

 

It does not matter what the reason is for the divorce. What matters is how well the two of you treat the marriage that you presently have.

 

Being eligible for remarriage should have nothing to do with a person's divorce background but rather on what that person is willing to contribute to the relationship they presently have.

[slimjim]

thanks Chris.

 

i knew we were now under grace, and not under the law of moses, but jesus spelled this out himself, when asked about divorce under moses. plus Paul writes about it in corinthians.

 

so God has shown we are saved by grace and his unconditional love thru the sacrifice of his son jesus christ, but his commandments are still valid, the greatest ones being love god with all your heart, and love your neighbor.

 

so that was what is confusing me. i believe that god would rather have marriage than having sex outside of marriage, but you shouldnt committ adultery either with a woman who has previously made a commitment to god.

 

thankss.

[chris250]

I don't think that marriage is about a commitment to God. It's a personal commitment between you and your SO. How the two of you agree to conduct your relationship is between the two of you. It has nothing to do with a covenant with God.

 

The problem with the idea that marriage is a commitment to God is because then it implies that two people have to go through the motions of staying married even if they are unhappy staying together.

 

Afterall how many christians rush into marriage just so they don't have to feel guilty about having sex? It's no wonder the divorce rate in the christian community is no different than in the secular community. They get married just for sex and then later after that wears off they find out they're not compatible.

 

I guess I take more of a liberal interpretation of the scriptures. I don't believe we are under any obligations to God. Any obligation we may have had toward God was done away with at the cross.

 

You can look it up in Colassians chapters 1, 2, 3. Ephesians 2:14-15, 2nd Corinthians 3:7-12. God's law was nailed to the cross.

 

I am a christian universalist and therefore I believe all of humanity is one with each other and with God. The entire human race got married 2000 years ago. So we're all one spirit.